A Secret Beginning
by sunsetsoverwater
Summary: What if Luke and Lorelai always had a friends with benefits relationship going on in the background no one in town knew about? Follows the events of season one.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** Totally don't own these characters, or this world. I just like to be a part of it. I give all credit to the writers of this fantastic show for the dialogue I've borrowed.

 **Author's Notes:** So, this is my first time writing for GG, so forgive me if I haven't fully hit the characters voices. I tried, but ASP has a writing style all her own that's tough to duplicate.

I've just always had this idea kicking around, that, what if Luke and Lorelai always had a little somethin' somethin' going on in the background none of us knew about? During season one, there was some serious heat going on between the two until life seemed to fully get in the way. So, here's my take on if they actually did.

Apologies for any grammar errors in this, but my usual beta is caught up in wedding planning, and as such, is skipping the real world for a while. So, I'm beta-less, and on my own.

The plan is to go in episodic order, kicking things off before the pilot, before moving into the pilot, but I'll only be touching on episodes that make sense in the scheme of this story. We'll see how far it can go. Let me know what you think!

 **The Before, and the Pilot**

It had started innocently enough. Their easy banter at the diner had begun to take on more and more of a subtle flirting – never in earshot of anyone else however, but it was there in spades when it was just the two of them.

So, naturally, being a woman in her late twenties, and not having been in any relationship she cared about in years, she decided that taking a yoga class would be a good idea. She needed to limber up and all, because if she was going to get into something with Luke, she had a feeling she would need to be limber right off the bat - their daily banter was enough foreplay to keep them going for years. It didn't matter that she had zero coordination. It didn't matter that Sookie told her again and again yoga was a bad idea. All that mattered was that she had an end goal in mind, and nothing was going to stop her.

However, when she fell over and broke her leg - that stopped her.

It did not however, stop the progression of their flirtation - it only enhanced it.

When he showed up at the hospital, it surprised her, but, looking back, she should have expected it. He told her he thought she had died since she didn't come in for coffee the day before. She teased him about him noticing, and he gruffly brushed it aside. Besides, Rory was sitting in the room. She did however, graciously accept the coffee he brought for her, and let Rory run to the nurse's station to ask for a cup so she could share a tiny bit of the coffee. Luke shook his head at the agreement between the two girls, knowing that one day soon he'd be pouring multiples cups of coffee for Rory, just as he did for her mother.

With Rory out of the room, as much as his arrival surprised her, his warm hand on hers did not. The offer of comfort was unspoken, and the spark that passed between them was undeniable. When he offered to drive them home, she readily accepted – much to the chagrin of Rory, who was always eager to spend time with Sookie. In reality, Rory was smart enough to know that spending time with Sookie meant the promise of cookies. So, to ease the disappointment, Luke promised to drop Rory off at Sookie's on the way, and then sighed heavily when Lorelai voiced her disappointment about not getting any cookies either. Rory promised to bring some back to the house, and happily pushed her mother out of the hospital in the wheelchair while Luke brought the truck around.

Taking advantage of the situation of needing help to get in the truck, she had leaned more of her weight on Luke than was necessary, and appreciated his muscles holding her up. That spark between them continued to grow, completely oblivious to the 12 year old sitting in the middle of the bench seat, with a book in her hands.

After a lot of shifting, and way more touching than was actually necessary, Lorelai was safely in the front seat of the truck. During the ride, she kept stealing glances over Rory's head to Luke, and more than once caught him doing the same.

During the weeks of her recovery, he came over often to help out around the house. Rory was perfectly capable of running the house – probably in some cases, more so than Lorelai – but there were a few things she just couldn't do, like change the water bottle - that needed someone else.

Always vaguely aware of her popularity in town, Lorelai took full advantage of the various townsfolk dropping by to feed her and Rory, or help out where needed, but there was one particular townsfolk she most looked forward to seeing.

He would call and check up on her, and one night when she mentioned she had allowed Rory to sleep over at Lane's, he came by with burgers and coffee to watch TV. That night was the first time they kissed, and it probably would have gone a whole lot further than that if it wasn't for her full leg cast. That part came shortly after the cast came off.

They agreed to keep what they were doing a secret. First, because one of Lorelai's hard and fast rules was that Rory didn't know about her dating life. Second, at no point was it ever really brought up that they were dating – they were two adults having fun, so there was no reason for anyone to know about anything. Also, it was just way hotter knowing they were able to keep it away from the town.

Over the next few years, life continued moving forward. Rory got closer and closer to being able to legally drive, and Luke and Lorelai's fun came and went, and came and went again, but their friendship always remained. Ultimately, neither really knew what the other wanted, and life in general just got in the way. They were both busy. Lorelai was gaining more and more responsibility at the Inn, and the diner got busier all the time. Neither was in a place in their lives to devote themselves to the other, so they agreed to keep it light, and when convenient. It was fun, it was familiar, and it felt safe.

It had been awhile however since they had been together, but that morning at the diner when Joey hit on her, Lorelai had definitely seen the spark of jealousy in Luke's eye. Neither had talked about the exclusivity of…whatever it was they had, but neither had downright told the other that dating others was off limits. Not that in a million years would she have dated Joey, but something told her Luke was not ok with the possibility of her being with someone else. And hours later, in the deep of night, that thought had something fluttering in her stomach, and made her sit upright in bed. Who was she kidding? She wasn't going to be able to sleep tonight. She swung her feet over the side of the bed, and shoved them in her slippers. As she stood up, she glanced at the purple fuzzy clock by her bed, and noticed it was close to midnight. She pulled on a hoody that was hanging off the end of the bed that smelled vaguely clean, and tiptoed down the stairs, and out the front door, careful to close it quietly so she wouldn't wake Rory. She had a good four hours before Rory would start getting to the point where any small noise would wake her, so that gave just enough time to walk to Luke's, get some serious stress relief, and get home, and Rory would be none the wiser.

As she walked through the deserted streets, her mind was buzzing as a battle of pure joy and pure desolation fought for dominance. On one hand, Rory was finally accepted into Chilton. She was going to get the education Lorelai never got, she was going to get into Harvard and do all the things Lorelai had ever dreamed of doing. On the other hand, the only way she could send Rory along that path to Chilton was to ask her parents for money, and like she had told Sookie earlier, there were several chapters from a Stephen King novel she would rather reenact than ask her parents for anything.

She blew out a breath, and raked her fingers through her straightened hair before reaching above the diner's door to retrieve the key Luke always left there for her. Well, he left it for emergencies, but essentially that meant it was hers to use. She took a step back from the door, looked both ways, and confident no one was looking, she jammed the key in the lock, and quickly stepped in.

Normally in this situation, she tended to stride quickly across the floor to the staircase on her way to her end goal, but tonight, Lorelai took a deep breath to try to calm her racing breath. However, the lingering smell of grease and coffee just wasn't doing it for her, so after locking the door behind her, she laid the key on the corner of the counter, and made her way up the stairs. No longer needing to keep quiet, but because the stillness of the night air requested it, Lorelai padded quietly up the stairs to Luke's door. Knowing he would already be asleep, she let herself in, shedding her hoody, slippers, and pajamas on the way to his bed.

She eased herself underneath the covers, and was pleasantly surprised to find him sleeping in only his boxers.

He stirred when he felt her cold skin press against his. "You know, if you're here to rob me, go ahead. I'm too tired."

"Ah, see, you've got it all wrong. I'm merely the distraction. Your place is being cleared out as we speak." With only one thing on her mind at the moment, she began to press open, hot kisses down his neck, and along his chest.

"Mmmm. Is that how this works?"

"Yup." The feel of his hand rubbing her flank was heating her skin with every passing moment.

"Well, if that's the case, then feel free to rob me every day."

Not fazed by the commentary, she continued her trail of kisses across his body. "Clearly you don't understand how this works. Once you're robbed, you're robbed. There's no coming back every day."

"Then I better enjoy this distraction as much as I can tonight then."

She stopped and looked him dead in the eye. "Yes, you should."

With her words, he wrapped his arms around her, and flipped her so that he was on top. As his weight pushed her down into the mattress, and she could feel his arousal hard against her thigh, she sighed into his mouth as her tongue dueled with his. And when his fingers entered her, finally the buzzing war in head was silenced.

…..

"So, are you going to say what brought you here? Or are you going to just completely go the full booty call route?"

"Seeing as there was no actual call made, I don't think that's even possible."

"You know what I mean."

She huffed out a breath, and chewed on her bottom lip as Luke played with her hair. She needed to talk. While she was all for stress relief, and god, if she wasn't feeling better already, talking was her thing, and she really needed to talk this out. "Rory got accepted into Chilton today." She felt him shift underneath her.

"What? That's fantastic! No wonder you wanted to celebrate."

As if he hadn't even said anything, she continued. "I don't have the money for her enrollment fee, and apparently Chilton frowns on doing bank jobs." She waited for his retort to her comment, but when none came, and he just went back to playing with her hair, she sighed. "I've gone through all the options, and I've come down to the only one I have. But I literally would rather take my chances with It than to have to resort to this option."

Still, he was quiet, so she forged on. "I'm going to have to talk to my parents. I'm going to have to go over there, throw my impeccably dressed ego out the window, and ask them for money. I'm literally going to have to sell my soul to the devil." When he still didn't say anything, she shifted so that she was propped up on an elbow, and able to look down at him. "How much longer are you going to make me talk before you say anything?"

"Well, are you done?"

She rolled her eyes up in thought, but the fatigue from the day and the previous activities were getting to her, and no witty reply was anywhere to be found. So instead, she looked back down at him. "Yes."

"You should ask them."

His quick, short answer took her aback. "What?"

"You should ask them."

"No, I heard you the first time, but I feel like you're answering someone who didn't just tell you she'd rather face something from Stephen King's mind than deal with her parents. You have heard stories about my parents before. I know you have. These are not good people. Asking them for this money is only going to cause problems. I left them because I didn't want to have to depend on them ever again for anything. And now having to crawl back to them is beyond the worst case scenario."

"Lorelai."

"What."

"Ask them. Yes, this is the last thing you want to do, but like you said, it's your only option. You and Rory have worked so hard for her to get here, and now she is, and you can't deny her of that just because of your feelings for your parents. The option may not be great, but, at least it's an option. At least it's a way to get her to Chilton."

She sighed. The longest sigh she had ever sighed, and laid back down, resting her head against his chest. "You're right. It's the only option. I'll go over there tomorrow. If I don't come back, it's because I'm in jail after being arrested for matricide. Hell, throw in patricide in there too."

"You can just add those to the robbery charge."

She smiled as she felt his lips press a kiss to the top of her head.

"And you're too good for that punk Joey."

She giggled, and as she let his warmth envelop her, she let her thoughts run to why she went to him for advice. Sookie was always there for her – had been there for her this evening – but it was his advice she sought. It was him she sought. Maybe she was ready for something more with him, but was he ready for something more with her? Unable to process such deep thoughts, Lorelai slipped out of bed and dressed before heading back down the stairs, grabbed the key off the counter, and replaced it over the door.

As she walked through the still darkened streets, she briefly thought about what could happen with Luke before thoughts of her bed pushed everything else aside. Once inside the house, her feet felt like lead as she climbed the stairs to her bedroom, and she collapsed on her bed, finally dead to the world for a few hours before her reckoning would begin.

…..

Lorelai collapsed at the table in the diner. Just being in the building made her feel calmer, but the night had been exhausting. And now Rory knew why exactly they had gone to dinner with her parents, but, maybe that was for the best. One less secret Lorelai would have to keep. But still, she was grumpy. She needed coffee.

"I think it was really brave of you to ask them for money."

"Oh, I so do not want to talk about it."

"How many meals is it gonna take 'til we're off the hook?"

She sighed with defeat. "I think the deli spread at my funeral will be the last one." As soon as she spoke however, she realized what Rory's question meant. "Hey, wait, does that mean…"

"Can't let a perfectly good plaid skirt go to waste."

Lorelai could feel the excitement bubble up through her body. "Oh, honey, you won't be sorry." As she finished speaking, she could feel Luke's presence beside her. When she looked up at him, her words failed her for a brief second, and she almost forgot who was sitting right by her. Almost. "Wow, you look nice. Really nice." She noticed that he could barely make eye contact with her, and he tried to keep his eyes on his order pad.

"I had a meeting earlier at the bank. They like collars. You look nice, too."

The giddy rush that resulted from his compliment normally would have caused her to blush, but she was well aware of Rory next to her, and, well, coffee was calling. Big time. "I had a flagellation to go to."

As usual, he ignored her quip, and just moved forward. "So, what'll you have?"

"Coffee. In a vat."

"I'll have coffee also. And chili fries."

"That's quite a refined palate you got there."

She pushed down the desire to watch Luke walk away, and instead used the opportunity to bring up Luke in a different light to Rory. The thoughts of maybe wanting something more with Luke were growing, but she needed the green light from Rory before doing anything. "Behold the healing powers of a bath. So, tell me about the guy."

They chatted for a few minutes about Rory's crush until Luke returned with their order.

"Coffee…fries." He paused for a second before continuing. "I can't stand it. This is so unhealthy. Rory, please, put down that cup of coffee. You do not want to grow up to be like your mom."

"Sorry, too late."

Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Luke give her a look before she walked away, but she was too focused on her daughter, grinning at how proud she was of her, and she thought about how much more she could embarrass her about her crush. "So tell me about the guy."

….


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** Totally don't own these characters, or this world. I just like to be a part of it. I give all credit to the writers of this fantastic show for the dialogue I've borrowed.

 **Author's Notes:**

Apologies for any grammar errors in this, but my usual beta is caught up in wedding planning, and as such, is skipping the real world for a while. So, I'm beta-less, and on my own.

Thank you all so much for the wonderful feedback so far! I'll try to post a new chapter every few days, or, as time will allow me.

 **Two and Three**

That damn purple fuzzy alarm clock. There were so many curse words for the alarm clock floating through her brain at the moment. Normally, there would have been more, but she hadn't had any coffee yet. This was shaping up to be a horrible day. And now, here she was, freezing her ass off because of the damn fuzzy alarm clock, and she and Rory were horribly late, and lost. She was so flustered, that she barely registered the brief conversation of a kind man telling them where to go. So much so, that when the interaction ended, and she felt Rory's arm on her own, dragging her away, she chocked up the interaction as simply another reason to thank her baby blues. They always seemed to get men to help when she needed them the most. However, when the man's hand appeared in front of her, and he continued talking, she paused.

"Um, I'm Ian Jack. My daughter Julia goes to school here."

There wasn't time, she knew that, but the manners engrained in her from childhood took over, and she reached for his hand to shake. "Hi. I'm Lorelai Gilmore. Um, this is my daughter, Rory."

"Your daughter? Really?

As soon as the question was asked, her always short attention span began to wane. She had been through this conversation before. Many times. Sometimes the baby blues were a blessing, sometimes they were a curse. "Yup."

"Wow, that's great. Uh, I mean, daughters are a great thing."

"We're big fans."

"Yeah. Uh, yeah. So, is your husband here? I'd love to meet him."

Yup. Definitely had been through this conversation before. "I'm not married."

"Ah."

"I'd love to meet your wife though."

"I'm divorced."

Hmmm. Maybe this was turning into a different conversation. "Shame."

"Yeah."

"Excuse me. I really gotta…"

Rory's voice broke through her dissection of the current situation, and she slightly returned to reality. "Right! We gotta go meet the big guy, and I gotta, uh, get back to work." With Rory beside her, she started to walk away, but Ian called after her.

"Oh, where do you work?"

The giddy feeling of a man hitting on her drove her back towards Ian. She had no other excuse other than she loved the attention. She always loved attention. "At an Inn. The Independence Inn. I run it."

"Really?"

"In a different outfit, of course." The sound of his laugh was music to her ears. Even in a ridiculous outfit, she could woo in the men. It made her feel on top of the world. It made her feel good about herself.

"Well, it was nice to meet you, Lorelai. Good luck in school, Rory. I'll tell Julia to look out for you."

"Great, thanks."

"See you."

As he walked away, she couldn't help herself. She had to watch. And it made her smile. This day was looking up. "What a nice, nice man."

"You're feeling pretty good about yourself right now, aren't you?"

"Yeah." She really was.

"Do you want me to get you a mirror?"

Oh god. Her outfit. It was ridiculous. She just talked to a cute guy while wearing an absolutely ridiculous outfit. It was an outfit that she more than likely wouldn't have even worn at home with no one around. What was she thinking? "I'm back. Let's go."

…

As she drove back towards Stars Hollow, she felt slightly sick to her stomach. It was fairly regular for her to embarrass herself in one way or another, but it was rare to have it happen twice in rapid succession. First, in front of Ian, and then because of Emily, in front of Headmaster Charleston. The sickness quickly flipped to anger. Emily. It was Rory's first day at school, and Emily was already making it out to be a nightmare. There was no way Friday night dinners were going to be survivable, and she wondered how many drinks a week would result in her being considered an alcoholic.

When the exit to Stars Hollow entered her field of vision, she sighed deeply, and turned off. Suddenly, her need for coffee trumped everything she was feeling. Her dry cleaning could wait. Work could wait too. At this point, she wouldn't make it in before lunch, so, what was the point in rushing now?

As the familiar view of the town square came into view, and the beacon of the Luke's sign just ahead, she suddenly felt a little bit lighter. Soon, she would have coffee. She parked the jeep right out front, and walked into the diner, plopping herself down at the counter in front of Luke. A loud sigh escaped her before she could stop it. She had been sighing all morning, and at this point, only coffee would make anything better. "I already had the longest day of my life, and, oh look, it's only ten. How nice."

"There's no coffee."

There weren't words for how deep her stomach dropped. "That's not funny." Was he kidding?

"I can give you herbal tea."

He better not be kidding. "This is not an herbal tea morning. This is a coffee morning."

"Every morning for you is a coffee morning."

"This is a jumbo coffee morning. I need coffee in an IV."

"I can give you tea and a Balance bar."

The hairs on the back of her neck were starting to rise, and her heart was starting to race. "Please, please, please tell me you're kidding."

"I'm kidding."

Ok, good. She didn't have to kill him. Didn't mean she liked him at the moment though, but she at least didn't have to kill him. "You're sick."

"Yup."

"You're a sadist, you're a fiend!" He was walking away from her, but it didn't matter. Her blood was pumping. Nothing was going to stop her. She was getting riled up…but then he came back with a pot of coffee. "You're pretty."

"For here or to go?"

As much as she wanted to stick around, because there really was something about the building that made her feel calmer, she really needed to get her clothes and get to work. "To go, please."

"You wanna know what this stuff does to your central nervous system?"

"Ooh, do you have a chart? 'Cause I love charts."

"Forget it, kill yourself. So what happened this morning that was so awful?"

Oh yeah, back to the bad morning. So much for talking to a pretty person. "Rory started Chilton."

"Really?"

"Yeah." As soon as she answered, she noticed he was looking at her strangely. And it was starting to bother her. As much as the other looks she got this morning bothered her, Luke looking at her like this was really getting to her. "What?"

"That's how you dress to take Rory to Chilton?"

Of course. "No, but…"

"I mean, that's a fancy school."

"My clothes were at the cleaners, and I had the fuzzy clock and it didn't purr on time."

"It didn't purr?"

"It's fuzzy. It purrs." Ok, back to hating him. This was the last thing she needed this morning. "You know what, never mind. I gotta go. I had a plan, damn it."

She barely heard his response as she hightailed it out the door, on the way to get her clothes.

…..

Once back at the Inn, she threw herself into work. She had to – she was half a day behind. And of course today was the day when guests were being impossible. Her encounter with Ian that morning had resurfaced her thoughts about Luke and where they could possibly go with…whatever it was they had. But then, he had been kind of rude to her that morning. It was all so confusing. She was tempted to sneak into her office to think when Michel appeared behind her.

"Once again, your faithful pooch is here to say, please come back to the desk, someone needs to talk to you."

Icicles made their way up her body as the possibilities of who it could be raced through her mind. One person in particular made her skin crawl. "It's not my mother, is it?"

"It's possible."

She looked over to the front desk, praying she wouldn't see Emily, and when she saw the back of a man in a well-tailored suit, she smiled to herself. Well, well, well. But first, Michel. "It's possible?"

"There's a resemblance."

"Hm." She took off towards the desk, going over the many ways this encounter could go in her mind. "Hi."

"Is this a bad time?"

"No, not at all. What are you doing here?" Other than clearly showing you've fallen into the Lorelai Gilmore trap.

"Well, I had to meet an associate for lunch and he was coming up from New York, so I thought, why not meet him at a beautiful inn?

Hmmm, maybe for once, she miscalculated a man's intentions. "Well, good. Enjoy your lunch."

"Thanks, I will."

"Ok."

"And I was also wondering if maybe I could take you out to dinner sometime."

There it is. "We're a little food-obsessed, aren't we?"

"Well, it's the company more than the food that interests me."

Oh boy. It was always exciting when she knew her flirting skills had made a direct hit, but it was always a letdown when the man caved so easily. She craved a challenge. Maybe that's why Luke always came to the forefront of her thoughts. Sure, he caved in that they were sleeping together occasionally, but he wasn't falling at her feet. This guy, however… "I'm flattered."

"Is that a yes?"

"That's a…you're a dad."

"And you're a mom, although, I'm still finding that really hard to believe."

"No, I mean, you're a Chilton dad." And there was the whole reality that she possibly was about to enter a relationship anyways. Maybe.

"Oh, that sounds bad."

"Not bad, just tricky. You know, Rory just started there, and I think I should let her fall in with the bad crowd before I start hooking up with the PTA."

"Well, I'm not on the PTA."

"Oh, see, there you go. I can't date anybody not on the PTA."

"Look, it's just a casual dinner."

"Sorry." He wasn't getting it. She needed to put physical space between them, so she walked around to the other side of the desk.

"Ok, I'll tell you what. I'm going to China for a week on business, and when I get back, I'm gonna try again."

"China, wow."

"Impressed?"

"No. Rome, I'd be impressed. China, I'm just, "China, wow."

"Ok, Lorelai Gilmore, General Manager. I'll talk to you soon."

"Have a safe trip."

"I will."

As Ian walked away, she felt Michel appear beside her, and just like this morning, she couldn't help but watch him walk away. She might not be willing to date him, but, she could still appreciate a fine ass. "He does that so well."

…..

The need for coffee, and the interaction with Ian drove her to the diner before she went to pick up Rory. She had told Ian that she was turning him down because he was part of Chilton, and while that was a very valid reason for not wanting to date him, the more pressing reason was because her mind was too jumbled about Luke. Him being there for her the week before when she needed advice about going to her parents was amazing, and she was slowly coming to the realization that she was ready for someone to always be there for her like that. She still wasn't sure it was Luke, but it could be. And Ian's invitation to dinner sparked a need to find out where Luke was in his head in regards to whatever they had going on. But, since she was too scared to come right out and ask him, she intended to just subtly work it into conversation and see how he reacted. Also, she just really wanted to show off to him how good she looked compared to the disaster of the morning.

Ignoring Patty, both because she was a little irritated at the comment and also because she was on a mission, she breezed across the street, and through the door of the diner, almost colliding with Luke.

"What are you doing here?

"See, now, that's why you were voted Mr. Personality of the New Millennium. Where's your crown?" Her words came out harsher than she had intended, but deep down she was also hoping Luke would have said something about her outfit, rather than ask why she was even there.

"I just mean you don't usually come in at this time."

"Well, I have to pick up Rory from school." Surprisingly, Luke filled her a cup of coffee without the usual fanfare he'd been giving her all week. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"No lectures?"

"My blood sugar's low. I'll eat an apple and get back to you."

She inwardly smiled at his words. The weird attitude he'd had this week was slipping away to his normal sarcasm. Clearly, it was the perfect time to subtly drop into conversation the possibility of her dating and see how he reacted. "Hmm. God, this has been one hectic, bizarre day for me."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. This morning with the being late, and my mother with her existing. Oh, and this father…this father from Chilton, he, uh, drove out to the inn all the way from Hartford just to ask me out."

"Really? You going?"

His peaked interest didn't escape her, but she still wasn't sure as to if it was peaked because he didn't think she'd be dating, or if it was peaked because he didn't want her to. "No. He's got a kid in school with Rory, and the whole thing just seemed a little weird."

"Oh, good."

Wait, what? Did he just say that? "Good?"

"Yeah, I think it's good that you turned him down."

She could feel butterflies starting to swirl in her stomach. Luke really didn't want her to date. "Ok."

"I mean, he's probably old, right?"

"Old?"

"Yeah. I mean, he's got a kid in high school."

"Well, so do I."

"Yeah, but you were young when you had Rory. Most people aren't that young. Most people are, uh…"

"Old."

"Yeah."

"Like this guy who asked me out."

"But, you're not going."

"No, I'm not going." When she saw him nod and look down at his order pad because he couldn't make eye contact anymore, she smiled. Maybe he did want something more.

During the entire drive to Hartford, her spirits were flying. What had started out as a pretty crappy day, was quickly turning into being the day where everything might have started. She stopped for triple caps, easy on the foam for her and Rory, because if she was flying this high, Rory might as well be too.

And on the drive back, to bring Rory's spirits up after her bad day, a suggestion of pizza with Lane was tossed out, and happily accepted.

Later that evening, with Rory's spirits successfully lifted, and the diner in their sights, she decided to just flat out ask Rory if dating Luke would be ok. If Rory ok'd it, she was ready to move forward with Luke. As Rory talked about Paris, they got closer and closer to the diner until they were right in front. If there was any place to have this discussion, this was the place, with Luke himself wandering around inside.

"Hey, what do you think of Luke?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, do you think he's cute?"

"Oh, no. No way."

She felt her stomach drop. Was Rory telling her no? She had to press forward. "No way what?"

"You cannot date Luke."

Oh no. She needed to start covering why she brought up Luke's cuteness. "I said nothing about dating Luke."

"If you date him, you'll break up, and we'll never be able to eat there again."

"I repeat, I said nothing about dating Luke."

"Date Al from Pancake World. His food stinks."

"I cannot believe what I'm hearing. Al's food does not stink, Al stinks."

"Well, either way, he's the better option than Luke."

Unaware of the heartbreak she just caused, Rory moved ahead in the direction of the house, while Lorelai held back a bit, blinking back tears. If Rory wasn't ok with her dating Luke, she couldn't move forward with him. She could never be with someone Rory didn't approve of, and she had been so sure Rory would approve of Luke. She loved Luke. Breathing a heavy sigh, she moved to catch up with her daughter, completely oblivious to Luke opening the door behind her, and watching her walk away.

…..

After Rory's request for her to not date Luke, she had been forcing herself to pull her emotions back. It was fairly simple, because Luke seemed to be in a bad mood as well, and neither had any sort of conversation lately – banter or more personal. And today she was just in a bad mood. The wedding was a nightmare, and here she was, sitting waiting for some sort of acknowledgement from Luke that he heard her order, as Rory talked about how great of a time she had with her grandfather that day. What was this world coming to? Was Rory actually getting along with her grandparents? What did this mean? And where was Luke? She called to him again, getting irritated that he wasn't around to break up this conversation she was currently having with her daughter. But, he was nowhere around, and Rory was getting more and more excited about her recap of her day. The more Rory was talking, the more she was losing her appetite. It was like her worst fears were coming true – Rory was being pulled into the world she had purposely turned her back on.

Here was Rory, moving forward with her life, finding new adventures, when the one adventure that intrigued Lorelai – the one with Luke – was denied to her. She had waited for seemingly forever, and waited so long, that, with the roadblock put up in front of her, maybe it didn't make sense to be with Luke. The deep thoughts were overtaking her, and all she wanted to do was run.

Finally, finally her cheeseburger arrived, but she had completely lost her appetite.

"I thought you were starving."

"Things change. Move on."

As she watched Rory put her new golf hat on again, she was dimly aware that her thoughts on dinner that night were an eerie metaphor for her current relationship status with Luke. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** Totally don't own these characters, or this world. I just like to be a part of it. I give all credit to the writers of this fantastic show for the dialogue I've borrowed.

 **Author's Notes:**

Apologies for any grammar errors in this, but my usual beta is caught up in wedding planning, and as such, is skipping the real world for a while. So, I'm beta-less, and on my own.

Thank you all so much for the wonderful feedback so far! I'll try to post a new chapter every few days, or, as time will allow me.

Also, for the first time in my life, people have told me to slow down with stuff. Normally, people are telling me I'm taking too long to get to the good stuff, so, this excites me. Hopefully I'll start falling into the pace you're all looking for. I know I'm enjoying writing it.

 **Four**

The restaurant had been reviewed by Lucent Mills, and it was a hit. The very famous food critic, had come into their establishment, had eaten like a king, and was rewarding the team in a very public manner for a job well done. It didn't matter that for some reason Sookie was upset about the review. In fact, in Lorelai's mind, Sookie was just as happy as she was. But for some reason, she was overthinking the whole thing. She shook her mind of Sookie though, and went back to the review. It was so exciting to read about a place she worked at in a magazine. It was even better that it was a glowing review. One day, when she owned her own inn, hopefully she could have an article written about the whole place – not just the restaurant. But, even if it was just the restaurant, it would still be exciting, because it would be about her place – not Mia's – but hers. It would be amazing. And maybe she would celebrate in much the same way as she was planning to tonight.

She was antsy. The review had given her new life. As soon as she read it, all she wanted to do was go out and celebrate with Sookie and Rory. But then Sookie started overthinking, and Rory complained about having too much homework. The linen delivery ended up taking much too long too…

When she and Rory finally made it home, she tried to convince herself that she could dampen her desire to go out on the town. She could stay in, eat pizza, watch TV, and go to bed – and make sure her kid didn't have her head explode from too much studying.

But after inhaling half a large pizza, she was shunned to the living room so Rory could study in the kitchen in peace. It was laughable, really. She was being ordered around in her own home. But, if she was being honest with herself, it seemed to happen a lot. After suitably mocking the news, she decided the only thing that would cure her boredom, was ice cream. However, after a discussion with a more-than-usual grumpy Rory, the only thing she had to show for the evening was a deal for Rory to run interference for her at a shoe sale. Unfortunately that wasn't tonight, so she was left bored, and antsy. Not a good combination.

Sighing at Rory's closed door, she decided to go upstairs herself and get ready for bed. Maybe just doing the banal act of getting ready for bed would bore her enough to calm her down and she could sleep. However, even after her contacts were out, glasses on, teeth brushed, and pajamas on, she was still strung out like she had just downed an espresso. Mmmm, espresso. She glanced at her Hello Kitty clock – that damn fuzzy alarm clock was now in the back of the closet – and saw it was close to 9pm. This was ridiculous. She was way too antsy. Looking down at her pajamas, she realized they could pass for clothes to be worn in public, and decision made, she padded down the stairs and stood in front of Rory's door. She lifted her hand, and lightly rapped on the door. "Hey, kid? Have you had any change of heart on the ice cream issue?" She silently prayed Rory hadn't changed her mind, because she wanted to be able to go alone.

"I'm taking back the shoe sale deal!"

"Wait! No! I'm sorry, I'm sorry." She blew out a breath, and smiled. This was working out fabulously. "Well, I'm going to head out anyways. Did you want anything?"

"Yeah, some peace and quiet."

Sheesh. Smart girls really were mean. Shrugging her shoulders and proud that her little plan worked, Lorelai grabbed her purse and jacket, and headed out the door, calling out as she left. "I'm leaving! I might be late!" When there was no answer, she closed the door behind her, and turned down the gravel driveway towards the main road. Normally, she would drive the short distance to the town square, but for what she had in mind, she wanted as few people to know where she was as possible.

The sun had already set, and a chill blew through the air. Fall was in full effect, and soon winter would be on its way. The cold air only reminded her of her need for ice cream, and as she approached the square, with the diner ahead of her, she took the longer route, and walked into Doose's Market, straight to the ice cream section. She studied the selection through the glass doors, and finally opened them when she saw a flavor she hadn't seen before – Bonnaroo Buzz. Coffee and malt ice creams with toffee chunks and a whiskey caramel swirl. Oh yeah. That would be a good one. Smiling at her good fortune, she carried it to the front of the store and placed it on the conveyor belt as she dug a few dollar bills out of her purse.

"Late night cravings, Lorelai?"

She smiled at the cashier. "Yeah, you know how it goes."

"Definitely."

She paid for her ice cream, waved off a bag, and headed out towards the diner. As she walked by the windows on her way to the door, she noticed there were only a few remaining patrons inside, which wasn't unusual because of the late hour. Their presence meant that the diner was still open, which was both good and bad for her plan, but it did mean a guaranteed interaction with her favorite Stars Hollow citizen, who she spied picking up some empty plates from one of the tables. Smiling to herself, she rounded the corner, and stepped up the stairs and through the door, moving directly to the counter, where she plopped down on a stool, and dropped her ice cream on the counter.

"You bring your own food here now? You realize this is a diner. We have food here."

Oh god, he was in a good mood. He was already razzing her, and she hadn't been in the place for even a minute. This was going to end in a fantastic evening. "Of course, but you don't have the good ice cream."

He gave her that look he gave her which was a cross between annoyance, and amusement, and it set the butterflies in her stomach flying. When he turned his back to her, she quickly took stock of the other people in the place, turning her gaze back to him as the sound of a bowl and a spoon being placed in front of her drew her attention. She pried the lid off the ice cream container, and started scooping it into the bowl when he reappeared with a cup and a pot of coffee, which he poured into the cup. When she looked up at him, he very distinctly winked at her, and she was stunned for a second. He was never that blatant in his flirting with her, especially when there were actually people in the place, and she could feel her face flame up, so she quickly diverted her eyes back to her task of scooping.

The bells jangled behind her as another late patron entered, and she silently prayed the person had a quick to-go order.

"Oh, sweetie! What a surprise to see you here!"

The voice was unmistakable, and she turned to see Patty walking towards her with a huge grin on her face. "Hi Patty."

"What are you doing here so late?"

She glanced at her ice cream before turning back to the large woman who sat herself down beside Lorelai at the counter. Her motions seemed to trigger an understanding.

"Did Rory kick you out again so she could study?"

"Yeah, I really need to do something about that attitude. I mean, smart girls rarely amount to anything."

Patty laughed beside her, and flagged down Luke. "Oh, Luke! Do you have any of your peppermint tea? Taylor is all out, and it's the only thing that's helped me to sleep lately."

"Having trouble sleeping Patty?" She dug into her ice cream, and the coffee flavor was almost as good as the actual cup of coffee sitting next to her. While she swirled the cold confection in her mouth, she watched Luke out of the corner of her eye as he made Patty's tea.

"Yes, I think it's the change in weather. My joints just aren't as young as they used to be. However, if someone young and desirable was willing to keep me warm at night, maybe these joints would feel better."

The obvious sexual innuendo directed towards Luke as he put the top on Patty's tea made Lorelai look up at Luke and grin as he uttered his usual, "Ah jeez."

"Now, now, Lucas. Everyone feels better after having some natural body warmth at night."

As Patty looked down to pull some money from her purse, Lorelai locked eye contact with Luke, and mouthed, 'Yeah, Lucas.' She raised an eyebrow just to drive home the point, and when he quickly looked up at the ceiling, she knew she had scored a point.

Patty put some money down on the counter, and looked back at Lorelai. "Now, don't stay out too late dear. We all need our beauty sleep."

"Don't worry, Patty. I'll probably just stay until Luke kicks me out, and by then, hopefully Rory will be asleep."

Patty winked at Lorelai, and then headed out the door.

She settled in to her ice cream and coffee, and felt him bussing the tables behind her. Every once in a while when he walked by, his hand would brush her ass, effectively further fanning the flames of her desire. Soon, she was almost halfway through the ice cream, and was starting to feel a little sick. She was antsy before, and with Luke's constant touches, she was getting to the point where she was about to tell the last couple to get the hell out, so she could drag Luke upstairs and do unspeakable things to him.

Suddenly, he was wiping down the counter around her, and he leaned in close so that only she could hear him. "Your glasses are driving me wild. I want to see you with only those on."

Just as suddenly as he appeared, he was gone, and her blood was on fire. That was it. Those people needed to go. As she turned to say something, she saw the couple walking out the door, and Luke's back as he turned the sign to Closed, closed the blinds on the door, and turned out the lights. She watched as he turned, and stalked towards her. Out of her peripheral vision, her brain registered that all of the window curtains were drawn, so unless someone was standing across the street, there was no real way to see very far into the diner. And with the lights out, there was even less of a chance of anything being seen.

And then, he was right in front of her. Standing between her legs she had unconsciously opened, his hands on her cheeks, cradling her face, and his mouth roughly on hers. The kiss reflected the desire she had been feeling all day, and what was clearly on his mind. "How much time do you have?"

His voice rumbled on her lips, and her blood was buzzing so much, she could barely form a coherent thought. "She's studying and then sleeping. She'll never notice I'm not there." All she wanted was his lips back on hers, and she was quickly rewarded for a few precious moments before he pulled away again.

"Good. You're going to be here awhile."

He pulled her up off the stool and roughly against his body. His hands tangled in her hair, and his mouth continued to ravage hers. Dimly, in the back of her mind, she thought about where they were. Not willing to lose the connection, but needing to state the obvious, she pulled her lips away, throwing her head back in desire as she felt his hands run up her sides, and his thumbs brush the undersides of her breasts. "Luke. We're in the diner." Her voice was breathless, and she wasn't even positive she actually said the words out loud. Blood was rushing in her ears, and all she could think about was getting skin on skin.

"We can change that." He slowly started pushing her backwards in the direction of the stairs, their lips never leaving each other.

"Wait! My ice cream! It'll melt."

"I'll buy you another one."

She grinned into his mouth as he hiked her leg up his side. Taking the lead, she hopped up, and felt his arms grasp the backs of her thighs, as her legs wrapped around his middle. As he carried her up the stairs, she accidentally knocked his hat off his head onto the floor.

They made it to the top of the stairs, and she could feel his arms start to tremble under her weight, so wasn't surprised when her back hit hard against the wall next to his door. He pressed his weight fully into her, and she could feel his arousal right where she wanted it to be. However, there were way too many clothes in the way. He reached around her to open the door, and she slid down his body, her feet barely able to hold her own weight. She felt heady, and needed to be horizontal immediately. As they stumbled through the apartment towards the bed, he whispered, "Don't forget. Keep the glasses on."

…..

The next morning was rough. She had to admit it. It took so much effort to get out of bed, she didn't even have time to get to the diner for breakfast before work. But, maybe it was a good thing she didn't go to the diner. She was pretty sure she would blush the next time she saw Luke, and she didn't want to blow their cover. So instead, she grabbed some breakfast at work, and had to do the same with lunch since she had to leave early for a parent/teacher meeting.

After her encounter with Sookie right before she left the inn, she was distracted on her drive into Hartford. She had skipped the diner to get coffee, and instead got coffee at the gas station, because she knew if she saw Luke, she would have been tempted to stay and chat, but Rory came first. Ugh, Rory. Rory had essentially forbidden her to date Luke, and while she wasn't dating Luke, she was definitely seeing Luke. She was seeing a LOT of Luke. The thought made her smile, and she drifted into memories of the night before, which made her miss the giant pothole in the road. The sudden jarring spilt her coffee all over her, and the warmth liquid made her gasp. Thankfully it had cooled enough to not burn, but a quick glance down proved that her shirt was toast. She groaned out loud at the prospect of having to attend Chilton yet again in a makeshift outfit. She pulled over to the side of the road, and leaned back to root through the backseat. When a perfectly acceptable t-shirt appeared in the pile of junk in the back, she cried out triumphantly, and awkwardly changed in the front seat of the car, all the while praying a cop wouldn't pull over and get her for public indecency.

Once changed, she pulled back into traffic, and cursed when she saw the time. Of course she was late. And because she was late, she made a fool of herself the second she walked into the room by almost tripping over a globe. Why was there such a big globe in there? Weren't these kids smart enough already to know where the countries of the world were? Coffee would help. It always helped, and she could smell it coming from the back of the room, so she made her way in that direction. As she poured it, her perfect coffee nose picked up a strong hint of bitterness, so she made sure to pour in some sugar and creamer. But when she took a drink, it was worse than she imagined, and a curse escaped from her mouth, instantly drawing attention to herself. Again. So, to distract the attention, she made an attempt to get everyone back on the subject of AP tests. However, no one else seemed to share her excitement for the exam, and her exhaustion from the night before was making her punchy – so much so, she was ready to take down one of the parents with a mighty verbal smack down, before the teacher called a break.

The teacher, Max, immediately came to talk to her, and the more he talked, the more she found herself waking up, both in mind and in intrigue. Max, was smart, and witty, and was able to keep up with her verbal sparring. He even called her out on her B-52s shirt. But most of all, he seemed to really care for her kid, and that went a long way with her. Longer than any compliment paid directly to her. But then he brought up that Rory had gotten a D on a paper, and suddenly the whole ice cream incident the night before made sense, and suddenly she felt even worse for spending the night with Luke. Her kid needed her, and she had missed it. Suddenly needing to see Rory, she tried to make a quick exit, but something about Max threw her a bit, and she once again almost ran into the globe.

….

When she entered the diner, right away she saw him, and there was his baseball hat. The last time she had seen that hat was the night before when she had knocked it to the floor. Mentally shaking her head to clear her thoughts, she verbally acknowledged him. "Hey, backwards baseball hat – new look for you." She looked over at Rory and noticed she has a slice of pie in front of her. "She's eating pie? Did she even have dinner?"

"You raised her, I just serve."

As Luke walked away, Lorelai couldn't help but think that the brief conversation was very domestic – as if they were talking about their daughter – not just her daughter. Needing to ignore the train of thought, she sat down with Rory, and confronted Rory about the D. She apologized for the ice cream incident, and silently apologized for going behind Rory's back with Luke when it was Rory that needed her that night. Once she learned that Rory had a test the next week on Shakespeare that she needed to nail, Lorelai vowed to spend the rest of the week with her kid, helping her study.

….

As the week progressed, she found herself falling into a bad mood. She was running on less and less sleep, and she was sure she could write a thesis on Shakespeare at this point. It didn't help that Sookie wouldn't let the review of the risotto go. And so when Rory called about not being allowed to take the test, she lost it in Charleston's office. She was well known for throwing fits, but this one was really impressive. There was an Il Duce reference tossed out for god's sake. But after talking to Rory on the way back from Chilton, she felt better about things. Rory seemed to be back on track, and so she wanted to celebrate. Well, she wanted to see Luke, so they could spend some time at the diner. Work could wait a little longer. And besides, she wanted to ask Luke if he knew anyone who could fix her Jeep door.

It was only much later that evening, after work that she had time to listen to the message left by one Max Medina. As she listened to his voice, the intrigue she felt in his presence was returning, and she fell asleep wondering what that meant.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** Totally don't own these characters, or this world. I just like to be a part of it. I give all credit to the writers of this fantastic show for the dialogue I've borrowed.

 **Author's Notes:**

Apologies for any grammar errors in this, but my usual beta is caught up in wedding planning, and as such, is skipping the real world for a while. So, I'm beta-less, and on my own.

Thank you all so much for the wonderful feedback so far! Sorry about the delay in updating this chapter. I was traveling for work, and then of course, got slammed with more work as soon as I got home. The joys of real life. Also, this episode was tough because it was so Max heavy, but I really think sets up the disaster of Lorelai and Max's relationship.

 **Five**

"I need desserts."

"Plural? Normally you just go for pie afterwards."

She threw her arm over her eyes, and groaned. She chose to ignore Luke's comment, but only because he was drawing patterns with his finger on her naked skin. He was distracting her, but unfortunately, not fully. She had so much on her mind lately – mostly how she was going to pay for the new door on the Jeep – and being here with him was a welcome break from the real world. However, that real world always seemed to successfully intrude.

"Yes, plural. Chilton is having a bake sale next week."

"You don't bake."

She lifted her arm so she could look him in the eye. He was in that post-euphoria teasing mode, and it made her feel good. "Thank you Captain Obvious. Hence the need the desserts."

"So, they're not just for you."

She smacked him lightly on the chest, and giggled when he wrapped his arms around her, and rolled her on top of him.

"Not this time. Although, there's nothing stopping me from sampling each one to make sure they're fit for human consumption."

"I'm not sure your ironclad stomach is the best gauge for what's fit for human consumption."

Once again, she ignored his teasing. His warm skin was just too soothing at the moment. She was content to just let the conversation fade away. He had other plans however.

"I could make some for you."

At his words, something deep within her tightened, and she couldn't put a finger on what or why. So instead, she pulled back to look him in the eyes for a moment, and upon seeing his sincerity, that part of her deep within tightened even more, and she felt herself rolling off of him and out of bed. She shook her head as she bent over to grab her clothes and pulled her sweater over her head. "No, that's ok. I'll ask Sookie this morning. You know how much she likes to show off her cooking skills.

When he nodded and said he understood, she could see the brief flash of disappointment in his eyes. And when she did, that part deep within her tightened even more. Desperately trying to ignore the strange feelings, she avoided his gaze, and instead focused on zipping up her jeans. "I might not be in this morning. I should get to Sookie early, because knowing her, she'll be baking from now until the event."

"The coffee will be waiting for you if you do have time."

She looked at him one more time, gave a small smile, and then turned to leave. Normally she would lean down for one more kiss before she left, but the strange tightening in her body was making her run. She quietly closed the door behind her, and padded down the stairs. She went out the back door this time, because it was later than she had originally planned on leaving, and the early birds of Stars Hollow were already starting to awaken. It would be much too easy to be seen sneaking out of the darkened diner, so she took her chances with the back alleyway.

As she stepped around a puddle, she contemplated what the feeling in her body meant. While she appreciated Luke's gesture to help out with the bake sale, there was just something too…committed about it. If he had helped out, there would have been questions, and frankly, she didn't think she had the answers for them.

…..

Since the weird feeling she had experienced at Luke's the week before, she had been consciously avoiding the diner. A trip to Al's Pancake World, and an impromptu shopping trip in the city had distracted Rory from noticing it had been almost a week since they had been to the diner.

Her thoughts were effectively jumbled, and having to get Sookie packaged up with all the bake goods and out the door this morning, was leaving her frazzled. Having to use lemonade to put out a fire started by Sookie was just the icing on the proverbial cake. And when Rory's teacher, Max Medina, the one who had thrown her for a loop the last time she met him, came up to her, she was thrown once again. Usually when backed into a corner, she fell back on humor to get out of the situation, but when he came up to her, her thoughts were so jumbled, her tone came out biting and icy. So much so, he even called her on it. Admittedly, she felt a little bad, but she had a feeling he was hitting on her, and she just couldn't think about that at the moment. There was too much else going on in her life. Besides, she was still pissed at him for not letting Rory take the Shakespeare test.

And then the conversation shifted. She felt herself falling for his words, and even though he was Rory's teacher, and even though this would undoubtedly create some sort of drama, he mentioned coffee, and everyone who knew her, knew she was a sucker for coffee. And frankly, with whatever was going on with her and Luke, maybe she needed to get out and see other people. Maybe that would cement whatever it was she was feeling for her diner man. Yeah, that's what she would go with. She would just see Max so she could figure out what was going on with Luke. It's not like she would fall for this man with the good hair standing in front of her. So she rambled on about where she might be and when, effectively hedging how much she actually wanted to see Max.

"You know the wordsmith thing – that's something we have in common."

"See you around, Max."

"Indeed. You will."

As she watched him walk away, she had to admit he was right - they did have the wordsmithing thing in common. And besides, he might not show up anyways, regardless of his affirmation.

…

The next day, her heart was racing a little as she sat in her usual coffee shop in Hartford. Part of her really wanted Max to show up. Another part really hoped he didn't. There was just something about him that intrigued her – she had felt it from their first meeting – but he was Rory's teacher. She needed to remember that. But it had been so long since a guy had pursued her and had actually attracted her interest. Ian had pursued her, but she was bored with him after only a couple of minutes of their conversation at the Inn. Actually, it had been a long time since a guy had pursued her in general. Luke didn't count, because he never pursued her. They were just friends who over the years had gotten closer, and had eventually gotten to the point where the friends thing came with benefits. Even though she was starting to think that maybe things could go further with Luke, Rory had effectively put a halt on that. So, maybe there could be something with Max. He was Rory's teacher though – again, she had to keep remembering that.

But then Max was there, and she was admitting her attraction to pie, and could feel herself falling for his wordsmithing skills. She put up a valiant attempt to dismiss his advances, but it was so much fun verbally sparring with him. She couldn't help it – it was just so thrilling, and it had been a long time since a man had held her interest this long. Before she knew it, Max wore her down, and she found herself giving him her business card with her personal phone number on it.

She sat for much too long after Max left, replaying the conversation in her head, and debating with herself if she should answer his call if in fact he ever did call her. It's not like there were any other men in the picture. Rory had shut down any chance of there being something with Luke, so maybe this would be a good way to move on from him. They had never talked about becoming exclusive, and it was always kind of assumed they were free to move on. Just because neither had dated anyone since being together was beside the point.

Yeah, she should move on. Luke wouldn't care. They'd barely seen each other in the past week. For all she knew, he had someone too, and didn't know what to say to her. She glanced at her watch and realized she was horribly late for her class. "Dammit." Quickly packing up her things, and grabbing her coffee, she ran out the door, much too distracted to actually pay attention to the economics lecture of the evening.

On her way home after class, she really had time to think about the Luke situation, and about her conversation with Max, and the more she thought about him, the more excited she got about meeting up with him. Yes, maybe this date was exactly what she needed. She needed to talk to a friend about it though and have someone confirm to her she should go out on this date with Max.

So she found herself at the diner a couple of days later with Sookie, struggling to reign in the enthusiasm of her friend because she needed to talk about Max. He had already called her, and asked her for dinner that night. "I met this amazing guy."

"Goody!"

"Yeah, there's goody stuff about it but there's baddy stuff too. He's a teacher at Chilton. Max – you met him at the bake sale."

"Oh! He looked good."

"Yeah. Right. He's so sexy and smart and funny and he likes coffee."

As she spoke she didn't notice Luke still within earshot, and at her words, he snuck into the back storeroom. She continued to pour out her concerns about Max to Sookie, barely noticing that Sookie was starting to serve Luke's customers. As she babbled about all the reasons why she shouldn't date Max, she found herself starting to turn the corner to reasons why she should date him. Before she knew it, she was hinting about her sex life, mainly to play off the fact that she did in fact currently have a fairly active sex life, but since she couldn't talk about it, she needed to sound vaguely desperate. However, as she was prone to do, she forgot all about where she was as she got lost in her verbal diatribe and was suddenly painfully aware that she wasn't alone, and had to joke with the customer at the other end of the counter. Thank god she didn't recognize him, and silently prayed he didn't recognize her either.

And then Luke was yelling at Sookie, and removing her from behind the counter. His words were much harsher than usual, but Lorelai was so caught up in her thoughts, it didn't really register with her. It didn't seem to bother Sookie either, so Lorelai just continued with her train of thought.

"Alright, I'm just going to keep it simple. I'll tell Rory. If there's even an ounce of weirdness about it, I'll cancel."

"You haven't told Rory yet?"

"No."

"Oops."

"No, not oops. The timing hasn't been right. This is a very delicate, fragile situation." And besides, she wasn't sure she could handle Rory vetoing yet another potential guy to date. This needed to be handled better than the Luke situation.

"Mom! You better come."

She turned at the sound of her daughter's frantic voice. The fact that Rory was in the diner at this time could only mean something bad had happened. "Honey, what's wrong?"

"It's Cinnamon."

Only in Stars Hollow could something like this happen. One minute she was having a conversation about her dating life, and the next, she was setting up a wake for Cinnamon. She had been living in the small town for so long, it didn't even surprise her now that so many people would drop everything to come over to mourn a cat. It was kind of nice, if she really thought about it.

However, when Luke showed up, she was taken aback. This was the last thing he would ever normally come to, and yet, there he was. He had sounded gruff on the phone when she called him asking to bring food for the crowd, but he had agreed to do it. He always seemed to agree to do whatever she asked him to, and when she saw him, she had a weird sensation of guilt wash over her. They briefly made eye contact as she ushered him in the door, but then he was tossing food around for people to eat. As the night wore on, his mood seemed downright dour, but, he was there. She had just assumed he would have sent Caesar to drop off the food, but he came himself, and even stuck around.

As she was silently pondering what it meant that Luke had personally delivered the food she had requested, Rory pointed out Max standing at their front door, and Lorelai could feel her heart plummet to her feet. Not only had she forgotten about her date that night, she hadn't even told Rory about it. All because of a stupid cat. She raced over to her house, forgetting her ponderings of Luke, her mind solely on saving the possibility of being taken out on a date. But of course, she found her mouth was talking faster than her brain was working, making her sound downright rude. "I just completely forgot about our date."

"And forgettable"

"No, you're memorable. I've been memorabling all week. It's just – we had a little emergency."

It was sweet that he was immediately concerned that the emergency had to do with Rory, and that eased a little of Lorelai's guilt about dating Max.

"Lorelai, I like you, but I don't want to force something on you that you don't want, so…"

When Max started walking away, Lorelai felt a little stab of fear that she might be missing out on something before it could even start, so she ran after him. "No, no, no. Wait. No, Max, you're not forcing anything on me."

"Lorelai."

"Please don't read that much into this. Call me and we'll reschedule. I promise that's what I want."

"You're sure?"

"Cross my heart and hope no other neighborhood pets die on that day."

As she watched Max drive away, she hoped he would call her to reschedule, and as she walked back towards Babette's, she really hoped Rory would be ok with everything so that she could accept the rescheduled date. But maybe it was a sign that things hadn't worked out between her and Max tonight. In all seriousness, how often does a cat's wake take precedence over everything? She shook her head and continued back to Babette's, hoping that things in her life would start to turn around.

Later that evening she was finally able to track down Rory, and after a couple of conversations, Rory had ok'd her to date Max. Even though she had that niggling feeling that everything seemed to be much too forced between her and Max at the moment, Lorelai had Rory's blessing to date someone, and the joy she felt was indescribable. She suddenly she had something to look forward to.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** Totally don't own these characters, or this world. I just like to be a part of it. I give all credit to the writers of this fantastic show for the dialogue I've borrowed.

 **Author's Notes:**

Apologies for any grammar errors in this, but my usual beta is caught up in wedding planning, and as such, is skipping the real world for a while. So, I'm beta-less, and on my own.

Thank you all so much for the wonderful feedback so far! And, don't worry, I'm a full blown JavaJunkie, but am keeping this as true to actual canon as I can until I can fully deviate. It's fun exploring the possibilities as to why Lorelai made the decisions she did, especially if something had been going on with Luke behind the scenes. I always felt like there was a reason she would jump in and out of relationships with guys so abruptly.

But now, for the episode that had started this whole idea for me in the first place…

 **Six**

It had been forever and a day since she had inadvertently cancelled her date with Max. With time to properly think about the situation, and with him nowhere near her to throw her off balance, she was able to come to the conclusion that dating him was not in the stars for her, and she was better off without him. For the billionth time, she reminded herself that he was Rory's teacher, and he didn't even live in Stars Hollow. Just the fact that he had been thrown by the town putting together a wake for Cinnamon should have been a red flag to her, because this town meant everything to her.

But, like with most guys that breezed into her life, she got caught up in the thrill of being pursued, and his wordsmithing and coffee meet ups sucked her in. The two of them would never have worked together. And this way, Rory wouldn't get too attached. Yes, it took a while, but she had successfully convinced herself that she was totally ok with Max never calling her back again, and she was ok moving on as if she had never met him.

Besides, she didn't really have time to dwell on him. Life was starting to kick up, and men weren't exactly at the top of her mind. She had gone through his same sort of lull with Luke many times over the years. Life would get busy, something would distract one or the other, and they would take a break from their friends with benefits routine, and slide back into being just friends. At the moment, the current distraction was Rory's rapidly approaching birthday.

"What are we going to do?"

She sighed and pushed her curls out of her face. "I don't know, kid. I'll just ask my mom at dinner tonight. Who knows, maybe she'll act like a normal person for once and give this to us."

"I really want to celebrate my birthday on my actual birthday."

Turning to Rory, who was seated in the passenger seat next to her, she forced a smile. "I know, hon. I'll try my best."

…..

"So, how would you like two parties this year?"

"You couldn't get her to cave."

All she could do was sigh. "No, but she did agree to make the string quartet learn "Like a Virgin."

"Well, you tried."

Yes, yes she did. "Sweetie, I promise, Saturday night we'll do it up right at home. A Stars Hollow extravaganza." Speaking of Saturday, she was going to have to spread the word to the town. Everyone was already planning on the Friday party. Hopefully people would be able to move their plans around.

"So, is this party Grandma's having going to be a big deal?"

"Not really. The government will close that day. Flags will fly at half-mast. Barbara Streisand will give her final concert…again."

"Uh huh."

"Now, the Pope has previous plans, but he's trying to get out of them. However, Elvis and Jim Morrison are coming and they're bringing chips."

"You ask a simple question…"

The remainder of the ride was done in relative silence. As Rory looked out the window at the passing scenery, Lorelai couldn't help but think back to the birthdays her parents had thrown for her when she was young. They were always stuffy affairs with lots of people she didn't know, and she would spend the majority of them planning her escape route - and then making good on that plan as soon as possible. She snuck a glance at Rory, and silently hoped that whatever her parents were planning wouldn't be as horrible as what they made her endure. That couldn't happen, could it?

…

It undoubtedly made her a bad mother, but as she went through the store with her own mother, looking for gifts for her to give to Rory, Lorelai constantly found herself thinking about her current dating situation. Whenever something exciting was going on in her life, it got her motor running, and because it was Rory's 16th birthday – a big celebration – Lorelai felt herself getting antsy, and she was pretty much at the point where she needed some adult fun. And now with Max out of the picture, her thoughts turned back to Luke. He was always there, and it was comforting. His single bed may not have been the most comfortable place to be, but when they were there, it's not like either of them were too worried about personal space. In fact, the close quarters just made it that much more exciting.

So as she vetoed yet another gift possibility from her mother, Lorelai began to come to the realization that maybe Luke was the guy she should be focusing in on. Sure, Rory had essentially forbidden it, but she had come around to it being ok for Lorelai to date Max, so, why should it be any different with Luke? Maybe what was needed was for Rory to see Luke having fun at a town event like her birthday. If he was there supporting the birthday, and showing that side of him that, so far, Lorelai had only seen in the quiet early morning hours, Rory would feel better about her mom dating the diner owner.

With the decision made that Luke was the one she should focus on moving forward with, Lorelai could feel her blood starting to hum. Suddenly, she needed to see him immediately, and quickly agreed to the dresses her mother was pointing out for her and Rory to wear to the party so she could get in her car and get on the road. It was only later, while battling traffic, did her mind clear enough of Luke thoughts to realize how much tulle was actually on those dresses. She would have to do some serious deconstruction of them during the week.

With only one thing on her mind, she made her way into the diner, and quickly glanced around, pleased that Rory hadn't beaten her there. She needed some time alone talking to Luke, and needed it immediately. Thankfully, he was standing at the counter, watching her as she walked in, so she walked right up to him.

"She's not here yet."

His voice made her pulse race, but since there were others in the diner, she couldn't say what she really wanted to say. "Alright. You'll have to entertain me until she arrives. Ok, Burger Boy, dance."

"Will you marry me?"

His words, and the way he was looking at her, combined with the way she was already feeling about him at the moment completely threw her. She was almost speechless, but managed to get out a, "What?"

"Just looking for something to shut you up."

She mentally blew out a breath, and silently thanked him for the immediate levity in the situation. With the way she was currently feeling, had they been alone, she might have answered in the affirmative to him, and then god knows where that would have led them. Instead however, she was brought back to earth and smirked at him. "You better be nice to me or I'm not inviting you to Rory Gilmore's birthday celebration this Saturday night." She could see that her invitation was unexpected, and she hoped he didn't think it was a pity invite or something since pretty much everyone else in town had already been invited.

"You don't have to ask me, you know."

"I know. But I would like you to come." She mentally chastised herself for the dirty comment, but couldn't keep it from flashing through her eyes. And when he spoke, she knew he had seen it.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." She nodded and gave him a little look that meant she _really_ wanted him there. When he gave a hedged agreement, she could see that he was pleased she asked him, and when she rattled off the time to him and slid off her stool, she was feeling pretty good about herself. Her Luke plan was fully in motion. Even Rory's less than stellar mood wasn't enough to kill the happy thoughts floating in her head.

…

When the phone rang at close to 11pm, she immediately grabbed it to stop the ringing and quickly sprinted to Rory's door. Upon peering in, she could see Rory had already passed out for the night, a calculus book shoved between her cheek and the pillow. Satisfied that Rory was down for the count, she quietly closed the door, and ran up the stairs two at a time into her own room, and closed the door. "Hello?"

"Hey."

Ah yes. Mr. Monosyllabic himself. But, if she was being honest with herself, that one syllable had her grinning like a fool, and her blood racing. She knew no one else would be calling that late – unless there was a major problem at the Inn – but it still felt good knowing it was him. When she replied, her words came out slower than she would usually talk, and definitely a step lower in tone, reflecting the desire she felt. "Hey yourself."

"Everything ok?"

To the uninitiated, the simple question would have come off sounding like a concerned friend calling to make sure their best friend had made it successfully through their day. To the initiated, it was code for asking if Rory was still awake. It had saved their bacon on more than one occasion.

"It looks like calculus won the fight tonight."

"Yeah, it always managed to land a solid right hook on me too."

"See, that's why I got pregnant at 15. Got me around the whole calculus conundrum."

"That's one way to do it."

As he spoke, she snuggled down under her covers, listening closely to any background noises she could hear from his end to suggest he was in bed as well. "So, to what do I owe the pleasure of this late night phone call?" She could feel her heart speeding up, in anticipation of him asking her to come over. It was rare when he did, but when he did, it was always a night to remember.

"Did you mean what you said today?"

"Hmmm." She grinned at how well he set her up, and she slid down further under her covers, already thoroughly enjoying this conversation. "I mean, I just said so much today, so it's a little difficult to answer that question. Did I mean it when I told Sookie that I loved the berry pie she made? Absolutely. Did I mean it when I told Michel that I would come back after shopping with my mother? Not at all. Did I mean it when I told my mother…"

"Lorelai…" The way her name tumbled off his tongue spoke volumes.

"If you wanted to know about something in particular I said today, you need to be specific. We all know my ramblings can be endless, especially when Sookie puts that extra shot of espresso in the coffee when she get so focused on her desserts and forgets what else she's up to…"

His sigh on the other end of the line made her giggle, and she stopped. She had definitely pushed her limits with him, and the more she talked, the less opportunity there was for him to ask her to come over. "Sorry. Did I mean what today?"

"Did you mean it when you said you wanted me to come to Rory's party this weekend?"

"Out of all of my infinite ramblings today, I can definitely say that was one I absolutely meant."

"Really?"

"Luke, of course! Rory adores you."

"Rory, huh?"

She could hear the subtle teasing in his voice, so decided it was fair game to give him some teasing back. "And maybe a few other people as well."

"Just a few?"

"Well, I can't speak for everyone, but, there's one I know of for sure."

"Good."

"I mean, the things Miss Patty has said about those arms of yours…"

"I'm hanging up now."

"No! Wait! I'm sorry."

"I'm not sure I believe you."

She quickly glanced at her Hello Kitty clock and noticed it was only 11:15. "I could come over and show you how sorry I am."

There was a pause on the other end of the phone, and then a sigh. "Unfortunately, I'm going to need a rain check on that one. Early deliveries."

She tried to not let her disappointment ring out in her answer. "Oh, ok. Rain check. Sure. I'll let you go get your beauty rest."

There was another pause. "What are you going to wear at the party?"

"To my daughter's birthday? Probably some jeans and a t-shirt."

Another pause. "Oh, yeah. That makes sense."

She knew it was mean to let him squirm like that. She knew what he was getting at, and it made this rain check that much more exciting. "I might possibly also wear some new black lace I recently picked up at Victoria's Secret. Since it's so new, I'll need someone to check it out after the party to make sure it's something I should keep."

"What time do I need to be there?"

And she had him. "7pm. Don't be late. But, feel free to stay late."

"Goodnight crazy lady."

"Goodnight diner guy." She held the phone against her ear for a moment longer, even though she'd already hung up, and grinned. There was just something about him

…

The rest of the week was a blur. Work was crazier than usual, and whenever she had a free moment, she was getting things ready for Rory's party. She was running through the town square on her way to the market when she heard her name ring out from inside Miss Patty's Dance Studio. Quickly debating the pros and cons of acting like she just didn't hear her name and continue on, she decided to stop, but only because Patty might have had a question about the party. "Hey, Patty. What's up?" She watched as the rotund woman made her way down the stairs of the studio and up to her.

"Oh, darling, I just wanted to see if you needed some extra help setting up this evening."

"Nope. Sookie is already at the house putting everything together. I was actually just on my way to Doose's to grab a few things we noticed we were missing."

Patty nodded, and flicked her eyes over Lorelai's shoulder from the market to the diner. "And a quick stop to see Luke, I bet, right?"

Fear bubbled a little in her belly at Patty's words. Did she know something? Was she absolutely radiating her need to see Luke? "Uh, yeah, probably. You know my need for coffee."

Patty made eye contact again with Lorelai and seemed a little thrown by Lorelai's response. "Well, and to thank him, right? Or did you do that already?"

When Patty winked and nudged her arm, Lorelai felt like she was going to hyperventilate right there on the street in front of the dance studio. Were they busted? God, what would Rory say if she found out? No, she had to play this cool. She couldn't give herself up if Patty was referring to something else. "Uh, for what?"

Patty chuckled. "Why, for the cake and balloons he gave to Rory yesterday for her birthday! That was so sweet. Who knew under all the flannel was an old softie?"

This time, she had to laugh. Both to let out her relief that she and Luke hadn't been caught, but also because what Patty was saying was so incredulous. "I'm sorry, say that again?"

"Oh, Rory didn't tell you? Luke had balloons waiting for her at a table, and baked her a coffee cake. She and Lane had it for breakfast." At Lorelai's blank stare, Patty got a worried look in her eye. "Oh, I hope it wasn't some sort of secret I let out of the bag."

She shook her head and smiled. "No. No, it's ok, Patty. In all the excitement, Rory must have forgotten to tell me. I'll have to scold her when I get home though about keeping leftovers from me. Especially something coffee related." She winked at Patty, and after waving to the town gossip, turned and looked to the diner. Luke had baked her kid a special birthday cake? And had surprised her with balloons? As she thought about the possibility, a warm, fuzzy feeling began to swirl in her stomach, and she decided that she would definitely have to stop by the diner. But as she started crossing the street, she saw the time on the clock. "Oh, crap." She was already behind schedule, so the diner visit would have to wait.

As she hurried by on her way to Doose's however, she couldn't help but see Luke's familiar flannel-clad self towards the back of the diner, obviously taking orders from a customer. Yup, she definitely couldn't wait to see him that night, and would definitely make sure the black lace made an appearance.

…

The day absolutely melted away in preparations, and before she knew it, it was dark outside, and the house was packed with people who were already buzzed from the punch. She may or may not have been one of those people.

Her parents showing up had sobered her a tad, but the more she thought about it, the more she realized she should just allow the buzz to melt her worries away. And, with her mother there, invariably it would help if she was slightly inebriated should any sort of conversation arise. With that thought in mind, she reached for her cup, and downed what was left in it, while immediately scanning the room for the secondary punch bowl she had distinctly remembered putting down at some point. As she was scanning the room, Sookie ran up to her, interrupting her search.

"Ok, don't panic."

"Good opening line. What's wrong?"

"We're out of ice."

"How could we be out of ice? We had a ton of ice. It was like a penguin habitat in there."

"I don't know how it happened, I just know it happened and somehow we have to deal with it."

All she could do was sigh. "I will go and get some then." She took a deep breath as she walked towards the door, hoping to clear the cobwebs in her head from her alcohol consumption, and as she grabbed her jacket and keys, she prayed that the cold air would sober her up enough to drive the short distance to the market. Otherwise, she'd have to walk and lug back the bag of ice, and that didn't sound fun at all. Maybe she could convince one of the bag boys to carry it for her. And on her way, she could stop by the diner to see what was keeping Luke. He was definitely late, and she was getting antsy to see him.

As she took another step towards the door, it opened, and in walked the person she had been waiting on all day. Even better, he was carrying two bags of ice. "Oh! Oh my god! You're a vision! Sookie! We have ice!"

Sookie quickly appeared around the corner and grinned. "Hallelujah."

When Sookie once again disappeared, Lorelai turned back to Luke with a grin on her face she just couldn't seem to lose. "How did you know?"

"Well, a good rule of thumb is you can never have too much ice."

Combined with the way he was looking at her, the alcohol in her body fully short circuited her brain, and she completely lost track of where she was, and who was around her. She walked up to him, and threw herself in his arms, pulling him tight, and only vaguely felt the two sharp thuds of bags of ice hitting her back. "Oh, you're the best." She pulled off of him, and was about to tell him his good deed would not go unnoticed later that night when the sight of the one person in the world who could sober her up immediately came into her vision. "Oh, hi, Mom. This is my friend Luke."

"How are you doing?"

"Fine, thank you."

There was a beat of awkward silence before Luke turned to her. "Well, I'd better get these in the freezer before they melt."

She shook her head. "Well, not very likely in here." She left her hand on him for slightly longer than necessary, with the silent promise there would be more later, before he breezed by her into the kitchen to give the ice to Sookie.

….

As the evening wore on, she tried to ignore the fact that her parents were in her house, but was always acutely aware as to where they were. So when Emily took to the stairs, Lorelai could only follow. Who knew what Emily would be able to find and complain about up there, especially since that was the one part of the house that hadn't been given the "company is coming over" clean up.

She was surprised however, to find her mother looking at the quilt she had created out of Rory's old baby clothes. After a quick jab about the cleanliness of the quilt was absorbed, she felt calmer about the situation when Emily changed the conversation to the people currently gathered downstairs in the living room. But her mother really did know how to throw her, and did so immediately when the topic of Luke came up.

"And this man with the ice."

"Luke."

"How long have you been seeing him?"

Had she been drinking anything at that moment, it would have been sprayed across her bed. "Luke? I'm not seeing Luke. He's just a friend."

"Mm-hmmm."

Oh god, how much had her mother seen in the entryway? "Mom, I swear. Luke keeps me in coffee, nothing else." Well, maybe a little something else, but nothing serious.

"He seems to like you."

What? There was no "liking" there. At most, there was basic desire, but that was to be expected in a 'friends with benefits' relationship. "And you're judging this by what?"

"By the way he looked at you."

"Which is how?"

"Like you were about to give him a lap dance."

Oh, if her mother only knew how close to the truth that actually was. "Mom, he did not look at me like that." She couldn't help herself, and smiled. Clearly Luke was on the exact same page as she was today.

"You're pleased."

"What?"

"You smiled. You're pleased that the ice man looked at you like a Porterhouse steak."

Even in her 30s, she still managed to get busted by her mother. She knew she had to play it cool, and get out of this situation, or in her current buzzed state, she might be tempted to just throw the relationship she had with Luke in her mother's face. So, she fell back on her usual defense mechanism – humor. "I'm smiling because you're crazy and that's what you do to crazy people to keep them calm."

When Emily ignored the quip, and instead picked up the picture of Lorelai in her cast, Lorelai couldn't help but keep her thoughts on Luke. The framed picture which was currently being studied and discussed was what started everything between she and Luke, and one of the main reasons she had framed it and kept it in her room. It was a pleasant reminder of how something started, without people asking any questions.

Eventually, Emily was satisfied, and Lorelai was able to get her out of the room, breathing a sigh of relief as the two descended the stairs, back into the melee of the party.

…..

"Hey mom, I'm going to head to bed, ok?"

"You got it, kid."

She felt Rory's arms around her and was overtaken by the sensation that she was hugging an adult – not her little girl. It might have been from the slight buzz she was still carrying, but a tear rolled down her cheek as she watched Rory give Sookie a hug. She quickly wiped it away as Rory walked by her once more, and she reached out to put a hand on Rory's head, trailing it down her hair as Rory continued past her into her room, shutting the door on what Lorelai felt was Rory's childhood.

She glanced back at the window over the sink, relaying the scene from only moments before she had seen through it. Rory had been out in the yard with a boy. A boy! And she was keeping it from her mother. As fear upon fear took root in her brain, she shook her head to dislodge them. No, she couldn't think of that now. Sookie was still here, and Luke had promised to come back later. The last thing she wanted was to be emotional in front of Luke. Especially tonight. Certain promises had been made.

"Hey, Sookie? Was there any of that punch left?" She glanced around the kitchen, and eyed the jug at the same time Sookie pointed in the general direction.

"Yeah, honey, there's some there. I was just about to throw it away."

Already pouring it into one of the many Solo cups left littered around the kitchen, she shook her head. "No sense in wasting it." The remaining liquid in the jug filled up the cup to the rim, and she tossed back a healthy gulp before taking the jug to the sink to be rinsed out.

"Sweetie, you ok?"

Water poured into the jug, and she swished it around a few times before dumping it out into the sink, and transferring the jug to the dishwasher. "Yeah." She put the jug in and closed the dishwasher door before turning to her friend with what she hoped was a believable lie because it was dangerously close to the truth. "My baby is growing up."

"Aw, she is. It seems like yesterday you two were just moving into this place and she was running around in pigtails and fairy wings."

Sookie's words tugged forth a long forgotten memory, and she took another huge gulp of punch, quickly feeling her previous buzz work its way through her system. Before she could say anything else, there was a soft knock at the front door. Taking a quick look at the clock, her heart leapt, and she knew she needed to lie like she'd never lied before.

"Who is that at this late hour?"

Thankfully her buzz gave her extra confidence, and the words just rolled off her tongue before she could stop them. "Oh, it's probably Luke, I'm down to my last garbage bag, and he mentioned he might stop back tonight with some extras from the diner."

Sookie giggled and then tied up the garbage bag she had in her hands. "That Luke. Always so dependable." She started moving out of the kitchen towards the front door. "I'll take this one out with me on my way. I need to get going because I have to make sure Jose gets the bread in early tomorrow morning."

She followed Sookie through the hallway to the front door, and as she opened the door, made significant eye contact with Luke before turning to her friend to give her a hug. "Thank you so much for everything, Sookie. Rory loved it all. And thanks for the cleanup help."

"Of course! Anything for that girl. I'll see you tomorrow, ok?"

She nodded and waved as her friend turned to leave.

"Bye Luke! Thanks for helping out tonight."

Luke nodded at Sookie as she breezed by him, and watched as she dropped the garbage bag in her hands by the garbage cans, and then continued on her way down the street. When she disappeared from view, he looked back to the girl he wanted to see. "So, what excuse do we need to come up with for me being here?"

Shrugging, she grabbed a fistful of his shirt and pulled him inside, closing the door behind him before pressing her body up against his, crashing her lips to his. "I said you were bringing over extra trash bags."

He immediately brought his hands to her hips, pulling her flush against his body, and allowed himself to be lost in her lips for a moment before pulling back. "But I don't have any trash bags."

Her body was buzzing, and she could barely even register that he was talking. At this moment, the only thing that mattered to her was dragging him upstairs, into her bed, and feeling him inside her. "She didn't notice." Already forgetting where she was, she started to push his puffy vest off his shoulders, and when she could feel how badly he wanted her press against her inner thigh, a moan escaped her lips.

"Mom? Are you ok?"

She froze against Luke's body, and he held her close, both of them rigid, and already running through the litany of excuses they could come up with if Rory walked around the corner at that exact moment. Looking into his eyes, and grinning like a fool, she shouted back at her daughter. "Fine, kid! You going right to sleep?"

Holding her finger up to his lips, she desperately tried to focus on the here and how, but when he grasped her wrist, and starting pressing kisses to the finger on his lips, she almost lost all of her reserve.

"Turning my light out now. Goodnight, mom!"

"Goodnight, sweets!"

And then his lips were on hers and he flipped her so her back was pressed against the door. He shoved a knee between her legs, and leaned fully into her, slowly parting her lips with his tongue. They dueled for what seemed like hours, and when he pulled back for air, she desperately tried to keep her panting to a quiet volume, and held onto him until she was sure her legs could hold her. Speaking quietly, she looked at him with a glint in her eye. "I just need to turn off the lights. Meet you upstairs?"

He regarded her slightly and smirked. "How much punch have you had?"

"Enough to not feel guilty for cursing in front of my parents, and enough to think it's a good idea to take you in my bed."

He nodded and glanced back towards the stairs before turning back to her. "Well, alright then. Don't take too long." He squeezed her hand and then moved away towards her bedroom.

Her body was on fire, and she raced through the living room and kitchen, stopping only to drain her cup of punch before skipping up the stairs. Oh yes, this was going to be a fun evening.

…..

As she laid there, pressed up against his side, she could feel herself being lulled to sleep by his gentle strokes through her hair. When her breathing started to even out, she considered telling him about seeing Rory and the boy that night. She needed to tell someone because the situation was driving her insane. She needed to get it out.

But when his hand slid down from her head and under the covers, and started rubbing her flank, she realized she couldn't tell Luke about this. Not here anyways. In some situations, he was her friend – one of her best friends – but here, in bed, it was something different. This wasn't the time to be talking about her teenage daughter. This was a time to calm the butterflies dancing in her stomach. She could talk to him about it tomorrow if the situation arose. If not, she could talk to Sookie about it. Eventually, she'd have to even talk to Rory about it. But for now, for one of the rare, rare moments in her adulthood, she had a man in her bed, and he was more than willing to help her forget everything that was going on in her life. In fact, there were times when he could make her forget her own name. Thinking that she needed just that, and figuring she had just enough time before the alcohol in her system pulled her into unconsciousness, she rolled over on top of Luke, pressing her lips to his. And when she felt his hands grab her ass, she knew that in a few minutes, she wouldn't be able to coherently even say she had a daughter.

….


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:** Totally don't own these characters, or this world. I just like to be a part of it. I give all credit to the writers of this fantastic show for the dialogue I've borrowed.

 **Author's Notes:**

Apologies for any grammar errors in this, but my usual beta is caught up in wedding planning, and as such, is skipping the real world for a while. So, I'm beta-less, and on my own.

I'm so glad you all liked the last chapter. One of my favorite parts of season 1 was that both Emily and Sookie always seemed to be questioning what exactly was going on between Luke and Lorelai.

 **Seven, Eight, Ten**

There was something exhilarating about walking around commando. It was so freeing, it was so liberating, it was so…cold. Also, admittedly, she was a little nervous about it, but there was no way she would wear dirty underwear. And because she was a little nervous, she fell back on her defense mechanism of humor, and blatantly pointed out her lack of underwear to Rory. It was always fun to shock her daughter. But the fact that Rory had done laundry without her was a little annoying.

As they approached the diner and a slight breeze wafted up her skirt, a dirty thought wound itself through her head. She inwardly grinned, but was distracted when they entered the diner to Taylor and Luke in the middle of an argument about decorations. She attempted to interrupt the two men so she could get some coffee, but they kept going as if she wasn't even there. After a few more attempts - even one including waving money - that didn't break through the argument, she started to feel a little put off. Luke never ignored her. Just as she was about to say something else, Rory had the gall to announce the lack of underwear situation. And while her dirty thought from moments ago had been similar in theme of telling Luke about her situation, it definitely wasn't in this way. But then still, he ignored her. Was he mad at her? They hadn't really talked beyond typical diner interactions since Rory's party, but, still.

Frustrated with the situation, and tired of waiting, she got up to get her coffee and muffins for her and Rory, not even noticing the naturalness of Luke allowing her behind the counter, and even giving her a utensil so she wasn't using her hands. Instead, she started heading out, and let her frustrations with the whole morning sound out in her words to Luke, who threw the attitude right back at her.

…

The week was not going well. First, there was the weird attitude from Luke, then there was the whole actually having to do laundry night after she realized that going commando was not in fact all that great, and then the stupid fridge broke. She had laid awake the entire night before worrying about whether or not the fridge could be fixed on Monday. If not, she wasn't too sure how she was going to afford a whole new one, and that was just depressing at her age.

So when Mrs. Kim had surprised her, and told her about Rory being kissed, she felt the last of her good spirits instantly dampen. Her baby was growing up, which was bad enough, but even worse, Rory was keeping her out of a part of her life, and that hurt beyond words. She had always assumed Rory told her everything, and now finally, a huge life moment happened, and Rory had kept it from her.

For a brief moment, she suddenly realized how her own mother must have felt all those years, when Emily found out about major life events of her daughter from someone else.

Knowing that the only thing that would make her feel better was coffee, she walked across the square and into the diner, flopping down at a table near the window so she could spy on Rory. The two had made plans to meet each other for lunch anyways, so it wouldn't hurt to have a few extra minutes to herself before she had to figure out what to say to Rory.

She gazed out the window, and watched as Lane and Rory laughed and giggled while working the donations table. Rory still looked so young in her pilgrim costume, and it seemed like only yesterday that Lorelai was spending countless hours hemming the large costume so her tiny daughter could wear it. It had become a tradition between the two of them to dress up like pilgrims and work the table until her hours at the Inn made it impossible to volunteer as much. By then however, Rory was old enough to work it herself, and besides, Lane was always there as well.

And now, Rory was old enough to be talking about boys, and Lorelai knew from personal experience that the expressions on her daughter's and friend's faces were those only brought on because of young love. It was slowly crushing her knowing Rory was keeping this from her, and she was really worried about how she could come off sounding even remotely normal when Rory came in for lunch.

"…mad at me too? I mean, a man can't choose whether or not he wants a picture of a fat, stupid bird on his wall? My God, that's the reason the damn Pilgrims came here in the first place."

Luke's voice effectively pulled her out of her thoughts, and while normally she loved nothing more than to egg Luke on during one of his rants, she just didn't have the energy to do so today.

"Luke, I wasn't snubbing you. I didn't hear you and now I'm concerned about you."

"Sorry, just feeling a little persecuted lately. Coffee?"

"Please."

"You ok?"

"Yes, I'm fine."

"You don't look fine."

He always seemed to know her so well, and normally it would be touching, but she just didn't want to deal with their normal flirtatious banter today. She just wanted to be alone with her thoughts so she could figure out what to say to her daughter, so she brought up something about decorations, which effectively had Luke turning and running away.

And then Rory was there, and she desperately wanted to talk about the boy, but of course whenever she actually needed words, they escaped her, and she found herself babbling about General Hospital, and before she knew it, Rory was frustrated and had left. Sighing down into her coffee, she knew she needed to get out of there and think, so she grabbed a couple of bills from her purse, left them on the table and headed out.

Her feet took her right to Doose's, and she moved towards the back of the store so she could effectively spy on the boy who was stealing her daughter's heart. She finally found an aisle that would allow her to watch the boy without being seen, and settled herself in to watch and judge and hate.

"Hey."

She was so focused on her task that she didn't hear anyone come up behind her, and the greeting scared the crap out of her. "Oh, God! What are you doing?" Thankfully it was just Luke. If she had jumped that badly in front of anyone else, she would have been embarrassed. With Luke however, she was just nervous about being busted. But when he asked her what she was doing, and once again pointed out that something was wrong with her today, she knew she couldn't lie to him, so instead broke down and said the words that had been floating around anxiously in her head for the past hour. "Rory got kissed."

"What?"

"Rory had her first kiss and that guy did it."

"Ah."

"Yeah."

"The new kid."

"Yep."

When Luke laughed at her, she ignored him. She knew she was being ridiculous, but there was just something about that boy. She knew all about the pull of young love, and what boys did to girls like Rory. Luke was trying to talk her down, but her mom instincts were all over the place, and the only thing that broke her of the spell she was in, was feeling Luke's arm on hers as he dragged her out of the back of the store. The cool air slapped her in the face, and woke her up to how delusional she must have sounded.

"What are you thinking spying on that kid like that?"

"I don't know. I just wanted to see him. I mean, I've seen him already but that was before he was…"

"Rory's boyfriend?"

"Shush, you."

"She's growing up."

"I know." Oh boy, did she ever. As she walked with Luke back towards the diner, it felt good being able to get her thoughts and feelings off her chest. She even finally voiced out loud the concern she had felt from the first time she saw the boy standing in her backyard – that he looked like Christopher. Of course, Luke pointed out that was normal since Rory was so much like her, and for once, she wished Rory wasn't her clone. She never wanted Rory to follow in her footsteps and get pregnant so young, and if this boy was anything like Christopher, there was a good chance of that happening.

But as Luke pointed out that she wasn't really ok with the guy thing, she deduced that just as long as Rory saw that she was totally ok with it, everything would be fine – regardless of whether or not she actually was ok with it. If Rory thought she was ok with the situation, then everything would go back to normal, and Rory would just tell her everything again, so she could step in before anything happened.

"So you passed the need for an actual person to talk to several minutes ago."

She looked up at Luke and grinned. If all else failed, she could always count on him to calm her down. "Oh, yeah. Before the gelato stand."

"You're an amazing woman."

"Thank you for noticing." His words finally buoyed her spirits, and for the first time in a few days, she felt herself starting to feel better about things.

…..

"You'll be proud of me."

"Lorelai?"

His voice always sounded so good over the phone, but it especially sounded good late at night, when there were no distractions, and he wasn't keeping up a façade for those who might be around him. No, at night, he was different. "No, it's your old girlfriend calling to check up on you." She had meant it as a joke, but for some reason, as soon as she said it, she felt a tightening in her stomach.

"I should have guessed."

His answer was non-committal, but his tone was light enough that it set her stomach at ease. "You should definitely be on Jeopardy, my friend." The slight snort she heard on the other end of the phone had her smiling.

"So what feat did you conquer today?"

"Huh?"

"You said I'd be proud of you. That means you must have done something besides annoying Michel today."

"Oh, I definitely annoyed Michel today. No, you'd be proud of me, because I invited the bag boy over for movie night." When there was a pause at the other end of the line, she pulled the phone back slightly to look at it, thinking maybe she had accidentally hung up on Luke, before realizing there was no way that could have happened.

"Do you need help burying the body?"

She giggled. God, she loved his teasing. "No, Mr. Smartypants. I invited him over, and we had a really great time."

"So, you threatened him."

"I may have mentioned briefly he'd be chased through the streets if he hurt her."

"With pitchforks?"

"They were definitely implied." There was another long pause at the other end of the line.

"You more than ok-ish with the guy now?"

She sighed. She still wasn't fully sure, but Rory was happy, so that meant she was happy. "I'm definitely on the way to being ok."

"Good."

"Goodnight Luke."

"Goodnight crazy lady."

At his words, she turned the phone off and sighed before sliding under the covers of her bed. He really did know how to calm her down.

….

A few weeks later, her eyes popped open in the middle of the night, and she suddenly knew it was going to be a good day. Throwing the covers off of her, she crept down the stairs to the living room, and threw open a window, taking a deep breath. Oh, yes. Snow was on its way. Leaving the window open so she could continue to smell the cold air, she walked over to the answering machine to listen again to the message left by one Max Medina. Initially when she had heard the message earlier that evening, she felt that weird tightening in her stomach again. She was tempted to just delete it and move on, but something had stopped her. And now, with the promise of snow blowing in, she saw the message as a sign. Good things happened when it snowed, and maybe this was the universe telling her that Max was the one.

She had spent countless hours debating whether or not it was a good idea to date this man. When she was away from him, it seemed easy to just forget his very existence, especially since she had so much going on in her own life, but then he appeared, and she just felt herself melting into his essence. And now that snow was coming, on the very day he called her, it had to mean something.

After talking to Rory, she pulled the blanket over her head and listened to the message a few more times before eventually heading back up to bed.

….

The day was magical to her, and nothing could dampen her spirits. Not even Michel. Snow was here, and that meant something amazing was going to happen. She could feel it.

And then her mother called.

She was disappointed that Rory wouldn't be making it home that night, but she was delighted in the realization that she wouldn't have to drive into Hartford and hear about the latest thing she had done to disappoint her mother. Invariably, it was her fault that the snow was making the roads bad, so being able to avoid that conversation all together was just the icing on the cake of an already pretty great day.

With work done for the day, she went home to change into comfier clothes so she could walk around outside. The air was crisp and clean, and big, fat snowflakes were falling from the sky. No way would she spend this evening in alone. She needed to get out, experience the wonder, and take in her tiny little town.

She waved at Morey as she set out on foot, and slowly strolled down the street towards the town square. Soon, everything around her would be white and new, and Christmas was right around the corner. Yes, all was right with the world. She took the long way to the town square, so she came out at the far side, closer to the church than Miss Patty's. Occasionally she would stop to look into the sky, and just watch the flakes falling towards the earth, blinking rapidly whenever one would fall in her eye.

Eventually she made her way towards the diner, and up ahead, saw the fire chief, the police chief and a paramedic walk past Luke to the usual standing area for the reenactors. She joined Luke in his study of the comedic group, and refused to let his rant about traditions pull her from her good mood. She loved a Luke rant on any day, but today was a day for calmness. Today was a day for big things to happen. She couldn't help but tease him a little though, and was a little surprised when he brought up mention of his father. As long as she'd known him, she could count the number of times he'd mentioned his father to her on one hand.

He invited her in for coffee, but she was restless. Something was pulling her further into the snowstorm, so she declined – wanting to enjoy her snow present as long as she could. She could have coffee any time, but the first snowfall of the season happened only once.

She couldn't help but smile as to how perfect the day was going, and as she strolled down the street towards the auto repair shop, she thought the figure standing out front looked familiar. Could it be? And then he turned and looked at her and smiled, and she immediately felt the magic of snow encompass her once again, and propelled her forward. It was fate. She had spent all those hours thinking about whether or not Max could be the one, and then randomly he had left her a message on the day before the first snowfall. And now, during the first snowfall, here he was. Right in front of her, in her town. It was definitely meant to be.

As soon as they started talking, she felt her heart quicken. The snow always heightened her senses, and made her excitable. It was like catnip to her. Put her in it, and she was high on life. So, with food in her hand, a man at her side, and snow falling around her, she was in a good place. His wordsmithing sucked her in again, and she found herself asking him about old girlfriends, and he asking her about old boyfriends, and suddenly fate seemed like a really real thing.

So she took him to one of her favorite places in Stars Hollow. There was just something about watching an old movie, snuggled up on a couch with a man, eating take out, surrounded by fellow citizens. It was homey, yet social. Everything she craved in life. His wordsmithing ways had enchanted her, and his lips felt just as she had imagined. It was the snow. She just couldn't help it. He seemed to understand her, and there were very few men out there who did. When the movie ended, she had to admit she needed to get home. While many people out there had Saturdays off, she was unfortunately not one of them, and needed to be up in the morning. He graciously offered to walk her home, and as they kissed in the snow as they walked, she had no idea she was being watched.

And then they were standing on her front porch. They were standing in front of her door, and suddenly, nerves started to dance in her stomach. This was all wrong. She had never brought a date over to the house. It was Rory's house too, and that created boundaries – boundaries she had firmly kept since she and Rory had moved in. The night of Rory's birthday party briefly flitted through her mind as she found herself straight out lying to the man in front of her about her _dating_ adventures in the house, and so when his wordsmithing and talk about fate sucked her in yet again, she relented and let him in.

His constant talk of fate ran so similar to her belief in snow, it seemed as though whatever it was between them had to be something. That was the only reason she opened the door for him. But then when she was alone with him in a room, it was like she lost all coherent thought. Had there been a giant globe here, she would have tripped over it, because he blinded her to everything happening around her.

If it wasn't for Lane appearing out of nowhere, things definitely would have progressed further that night. Even the next morning, with the ground fully covered in her own personal magic wonderland, she felt blinded by this man sitting next to her. Rory seemed to be ok with the fact that Max might end up being a little more permanent in their lives, and that was enough for her.

The snow had spoken.

…

She couldn't shake her bad mood. Since her magical, epic first date with Max, he had essentially disappeared. Sure, it was getting close to the holidays, so that meant final exams and extra study periods, but still. He had called her once, and she had missed him, and when he wasn't in her presence, there was no pull towards him, so after a short game of phone tag, she had given up. Then, what should have been a happy occasion for her – her daughter's first real dance – had turned out in disaster, resulting in precious days wasted because she was too angry at Rory. Deep down she knew nothing had happened, but the fear of what could have been was overpowering. And finally, it was just getting damn cold out. No matter how much she liked the first snowfall, the rest of the winter pretty much sucked. Especially when the wind whipped up like it had been doing the entire day.

So when the punk that led Rory astray showed up at the house, she was pretty sure she was going to follow through with one of the many ways she planned to kill him, but then they talked, and she had to admit, he seemed genuinely sorry for the whole event. As such, she was willing to forgive him. Just a little. But, his appearance, combined with her being disinvited to her parents Christmas party, topped off with the delayed pizza, made her desperate for some sort of friendly human contact.

Her plan was to go to Sookie's house, and convince her friend to get right drunk with her. Then she could stumble home and just talk with Rory in the morning. However, her feet had other plans, and she found herself strolling through the town square and into the diner. Needing instant interaction, she walked right up to the counter, and settled herself onto a stool. Almost immediately, Luke was in front of her pouring her a cup of coffee.

"Hey."

"Rory coming?"

"No."

"She on a date?"

"No."

"Good. So, you've forbid her to see the bag boy."

She sighed. This was not the conversation she wanted to be having right now. "I'd really rather not talk about it right now."

"Just tell me you forbid her to see the bag boy."

"I did not forbid her to see the bag boy."

"Are you crazy?"

She wanted to point out to him that he routinely called her a variation of that every time he signed off when they talked on the phone late at night, but she just didn't have the energy. Besides, there were a lot of people around. So instead, she went with a quip. "Well, he looks like he's moving up to produce, so he's suddenly become quite a catch."

"That kid is trouble."

This was getting tiresome. Maybe she should have stayed home and just waited for Joe after all. "Can I order please?"

"First time I looked at him, I thought he was trouble."

Wait a minute… "Excuse me, I'm the one who told you I thought he was trouble and you told me you thought I was crazy."

"You are crazy, and he is trouble."

"He is not trouble! He's 6'2"… he's beautiful and he's completely in love with my daughter."

"Trouble."

She sighed. "Big time."

He offered her a burger, but with her dour mood and the fact she was missing her parents' Christmas party, she wanted something more festive. Not surprisingly, he didn't have anything festive. What was surprising however, was just how much he knew her. He understood her in a way other men just never did. Sure, he passed it off as knowing because she came in every day, but as he talked, she knew differently. He _knew_ her. And she did want a burger.

When the plate slid into her view on the counter, she felt her whole face light up, and she instantly felt better about everything. On her plate was the face of Santa Claus, artfully created out of the burger she had ordered. She looked up into his blue eyes and radiated happiness and disbelief. "What did you do?"

"You wanted something festive."

"You made me a Santa burger."

"It's no big deal."

"He has a hat and everything."

"Yeah, I just cut a piece of wonder bread, you know, poured a little ketchup, piped on a little cream cheese."

"No one has ever made me something quite this disgusting before. I thank you."

"You're welcome."'

The ringing of her cell phone interrupted the moment that was happening, and she couldn't help but notice how quickly Luke shifted from being a total sweetheart, to his usual gruff demeanor as he pointed at the 'no cell phone' sign.

"What?"

"Outside!"

"Are you kidding? It's like the North Pole out there."

"Hey, this sign isn't just a decoration."

"Honey, nothing in here is a decoration." Because they were in the full throws of a banter session that was bordering on an actual argument, she didn't notice that she slipped and called him her pet name for him. As they volleyed back a few more times, and as the rest of the diner patrons weighed in as well, she missed the call.

While she dialed her voicemail, she was vaguely aware of Taylor and his crew coming in, and pressed the phone closer to her ear to drown out the conversation so she could hear the message.

 _Mom! Grandpa's in the hospital! Please come!_

She was pretty sure she went numb. There were very few times in her life when nothing in her body wanted to work, and this moment was one of them. "Oh my god!" She could hear the disbelief in her voice – the flatness that comes when a situation is so unexpected, there isn't room for any emotion. Her mind was reeling, and she felt like she was falling. Where was she? Was she at home?

"Shut up, Taylor. What's wrong?"

Luke's voice pulled her slightly to her senses, but only so much as to recognize he was standing right next to her. "My father's in the hospital."

"What?"

"Yeah, he collapsed or something. I don't know. I need a cab. I need to call a cab. Where's the phone? I need…can anyone give me…I'm holding a phone." She knew she was babbling, and she was also fairly certain she was having an anxiety attack.

"Whoa, calm down."

"No, I can't calm down. I need a cab. What's the number? God, it's something…cabs. Cabs…something, something. 1-800 cabs? Can somebody tell me the damn number of the cab guy?"

"I'll drive you."

"But there's food, and there's people, and there's a burger with a face."

She stood there, numb to everything, only vaguely aware that Luke was telling her to get her coat, and that his truck was outside. As they began to move though, the one true emotion hit her, and she had to voice it. "Luke, I'm…"

He didn't let her finish, and instead just nodded. "I know. Let's go."

…..

The drive into the city seemed to be taking forever, so she kept herself occupied by listening to Rory's message over and over, hoping each time she would be able to pick up on some clue she had missed before. She even forced Luke to listen to it a couple of times to see if he could hear anything. But as they continued down the highway, she was getting more and more frustrated, and she found herself taking her frustrations out on Luke, and quickly apologized. Of course, he understood she didn't mean it, because he _knew_ her, and that made her feel even worse.

And suddenly they were talking about kids, and how well they thought the other would be as a parent. Again, she could feel they were having a moment that she should study at some point in the near future, but she couldn't think about it now. Even Luke seemed to have sensed the shift in their conversation because he finally sped up to get them to the hospital that much faster.

It was chaos when they finally got to the hospital. There was no parking, and when they finally found a spot, it turned out to be on the exact opposite end of the building from where her father was. And no matter how many people they asked about her father's possible location, they couldn't seem to get a solid answer, and she found her blood pumping in frustration. They turned yet another corner, and she was fairly sure she was going to lose it, but then she heard it. Her mother's voice. It was unmistakable, and for the first time ever, it was a beacon for her to follow.

However, upon her finally finding the place she needed to be, she discovered her mother was just as scattered as she felt, and she had to beg Emily to let her know what happened.

"I don't know what happened. He was hot and he went to turn down the thermostat and then…were you on a date?"

Never let it be said that Emily Gilmore couldn't trip up her own daughter, even during a crisis situation. Lorelai had to shake her head a little to focus on Emily's question. "What?"

"You have an escort."

Oh, jeez. Not this again. "No, it's Luke, Mom."

"Which is her way of saying we weren't on a date."

The tone of Luke's statement had a small part of her stomach tighten, much like it had been doing so much lately, and she instantly regretted her quick words, so she turned to apologize. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that."

"Well, how am I supposed to know you weren't on a date. It's Friday night and you show up here with a man."

Of course her mother wouldn't let this go - even when a family member was in the hospital. "With Luke, Mom."

"It's not insane to assume a date was involved."

"You're right, ok, it's entirely possible that I was out on a date."

"Just not with me."

Once again, the tone of his voice hurt her a little, but this was not the time, nor the place, so she struggled to change the focus on the conversation back to her father. Thankfully, she was given the opportunity to take charge of the situation – something that immediately put her at ease – and she went in search of Dr. Reynolds, confident her mother was closely trailing behind her.

Almost immediately, she was able to find the doctor, who let them know Richard would be out of testing soon. With that knowledge in mind, Emily quickly shifted to the task of finding the best room for her husband to recover in, allowing Lorelai to sneak out to find the comfort of her friend. Her energy was spent, and with the knowledge that her father was well enough to be moved to his own hospital room, all she wanted was a few minutes to just sit and regroup. However, when she walked back out of the doors to where she left Luke, her daughter's voice echoed down the halls, and she knew she needed to keep acting strong for a few more minutes.

After allaying Rory's fears, Lorelai's energy was almost completely sapped, and she slumped down in the chair next to Luke. She needed someone to comfort her for a change, and she subtly shifted closer to him. Luke tried his best to offer words of comfort, and it wasn't great, but even when he finally gave up on his attempt, she had to admit she did feel a tiny bit better. However, she quickly realized how uncomfortable Luke was at the hospital, and mentally filed away the need to question him as to why. "Ok, listen, why don't you go home."

"You want me to go?"

"You don't look so good."

"Thanks."

Again, she could hear the slight hurt in his voice, and she couldn't pin down why that hurt bugged her so much. So she quickly tried to salvage the situation. "That's not what I meant. You know you always look good." As soon as the words left her mouth, she knew she had slipped.

"Yeah?"

The hope in his voice threw her a bit, but she instantly knew everything was back as it should be. Their heavily flirty banter was back, and without a doubt, there would be a phone call later on that night. But, she couldn't let him off that easy. That wasn't her style. "I mean you always look healthy."

"Ok."

"But you don't look so healthy now. Now you look…"

"Unhealthy."

"Yes."

"Ok."

He was screwing with her, she knew it. He was goading her, but there was no way in hell she was going to let him win this round, so she rolled her eyes. "Oh, what." So, I said you look good. We're not in 5th grade. 'You look good,' big deal." All the while she was talking, she could feel his eyes on her and it was cracking her resolve. "Stop staring at me." Thankfully, at that moment, a patient passed them by, throwing Luke off, allowing her to win this particular round of banter. "See, that's what you get for being cocky."

Her gleeful win was cut short however, as her father was wheeled out in front of her. Instantly the fear and dread she had been feeling since first listening to Rory's message rushed back through her system. The orderly told her she could go sit with her father, but since she just didn't have that type of relationship with her father, it didn't feel natural for her to be alone in a room with him. Frantically, she tried to play it off to Luke that she should get her mother and Rory first. However, each time she tried to make her escape, one of them appeared, finally leaving her with no excuse as to why she couldn't go in to see her father. The truth was, regardless of how non-existent her relationship was with her father, it terrified her to think that he could one day not be there, and she wasn't sure she could see him in any state other than a perfectly healthy state. And of course, Luke had to be there, and had to point out how ridiculous she was being. But, she was no longer in the mood to banter with him. Their moment was over, and she wasn't finding him funny at all, so when a particularly gruesome injured patient went by, she cruelly pointed it out to Luke so she could escape his interrogation.

When Rory found her and called her out similarly to Luke, she knew the two had been conspiring against her, and had a vision of this happening well into their futures. But instead of focusing on that, she tactfully changed the subject to Dean, effectively throwing Rory off the Luke train of thought. And as they talked, she could feel their little rift dissipating, and she knew everything was once again on track between her and Rory. "What do you say, should we head back up and see how everything is going?"

Rory nodded, and two headed back up to check on Richard, and she inexplicably found herself alone in a room with her father, unable to say anything she wanted to say. Before she could get any words out, her mother burst into the room, giving her the opportunity to sneak out. Once out of the room, she had a brief moment to herself, which gave her time to she realize she no longer had the energy to be strong for those around her. So when she tried to tell Luke that her father was being kept overnight, she lost it, and tears burst from her eyes. She felt herself being pulled into Luke's embrace, but he felt stiff against her, and it wasn't the comfort she needed at the moment. She knew what his comfortable embrace felt like, and this wasn't it. They were in foreign territory here, and as close as they both were, neither knew how to properly act, so she sucked up enough energy to pull away, and lie that she was ok so they could get back on to more familiar ground.

"Oh hey, I got this for you."

When he thrust a cup of coffee in her direction she was able to regain her equilibrium, and the moment felt much better. "Ah, where'd you get that?"

"Nurse's lounge."

"Uh-huh."

"What? You're not the only one who can flirt."

That was it. That was what she needed to feel normal again. He always found that way to make her feel better, and she found herself laughing at him, and accepted the offered cup of coffee. "Thank you."

"Anything else I can do?"

This guy was unreal. There was so much in that moment she wanted to tell him he could do for her, but as usual, it wasn't the time nor place, so she settled on the one thing that would make things easier for the time being. "Could you take Rory home?"

"Yeah sure. What about you?"

His concern for her saturated his words, but she shook her head. "I'm gonna stick around here for a while and make sure everything's settled. You take her and I'll drive the Jeep back."

"Ok."

At that moment, Rory appeared beside her, so she told her daughter the plan, and watched as Rory walked down the hallway with Luke. There were very few people in the world she entrusted with the safety of her daughter, and the owner of the local diner had somehow wormed his way onto that very short list. She turned her head slightly to look at the door to her father's room and sighed. The wish to run and join those two at the moment was very strong, but she knew in this moment she needed to be strong for her parents. So with one last glance towards the now empty hallway, she sat down in the empty set of chairs, praying she could make it through the rest of the evening without breaking down.

…..

When she walked in the house a few hours later, she silently hoped Rory had already gone to bed, but she should have known better.

"Mom! You're home!"

Almost immediately, she was hit by the full weight of Rory throwing her arms around her, and she staggered back a little from the force. The complete feeling of love at that moment was almost her undoing, but she knew she needed to stay strong for Rory's sake. She could cry herself to sleep in a few minutes.

"Hey, kid."

Pulling back, Rory looked at her mom full in the eye, searching for words that might not be made verbally. "How's Grandpa?"

She broke away from Rory's intense gaze, and moved towards the living room, collapsing on the couch, opening her arms for her daughter to join her. When she did, she hugged Rory close, and smoothed down Rory's hair as she talked. "He's doing ok. And I got my mother settled. I'll head back in the morning to check in on them."

"You told Grandpa I'd be there too, right?"

"Absolutely."

"Good." Rory paused again before speaking. "I was really scared, Mom."

"I was too, kid. I was too."

The silence seemed to stretch on as the two girls sought comfort from each other.

"Luke's a good guy, Mom."

She pulled back a bit to look at Rory, interested where this statement came from. "Oh yeah? Why do you say that?"

Rory pulled back as well so she could look at her mom. "Because he brought you all the way to the hospital, and stayed there even though he hates hospitals. Did you know he doesn't like them because he had to spend so much time there with his dad?"

She shook her head, because she didn't know that, and she was curious as to how Rory did.

"We talked a lot on the way home, and, he's a good guy."

"He is, sweets. That he is."

The two girls held each other's gaze for a moment before Rory nodded and stood up. "I'm going to get to bed. Get me up when you do so I can go with you in the morning, ok?"

She nodded, and held her arms open as Rory reached down to give her a hug. "You bet." She watched Rory walk into her room, and waited a few minutes before getting up herself. Before going upstairs, she grabbed the phone from its cradle, and dialed the number she knew now by heart as she closed her bedroom door and collapsed on her bed.

"Everything ok?"

Their usual code phrase meant so much more tonight, but she chose to stick to the response usually expected when asked that coded question. "Yeah, she's so tired, I'm sure she was asleep the moment her head hit the pillow."

"What about you?"

A long sigh escaped her lips, and she pinched the bridge of her nose, unsure of how to really answer that question. "I'll be better after some sleep. I'm going to head back there in the morning, and will hopefully find out more."

"Good."

There was a lull in conversation, which was not unusual for their late night chats, but it seemed to stretch even longer than usual since she was so tired. "Thank you for driving Rory home tonight. She said you had a good chat."

"Yeah, she's a good kid. Much less stressful to talk to than your mom."

She couldn't help it. She snorted. Again, he knew how to calm her down. "Oh yeah. You said she called you an idiot. What brought that on?" When he didn't immediately answer, she suddenly wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer to her question.

"She asked me what was going on between the two of us. I told her we were friends, and that was it. So then she called both of us idiots."

Yup, she didn't want to know the answer to that question. This was the second time her mother pointed out that something was going on with Luke. Was she just picking up on the friends with benefits situation they had? Or was she picking up on something else that even Lorelai was missing? She shook her head, too tired to deal with such a heavy topic , and as such, once again fell back on her usual defense mechanism. "I knew it was too good to be true for Emily to miss out on calling me an idiot." When there was another long pause, she took advantage of the situation, and moved to end the call. Her eyelids were getting heavy, and she knew she wouldn't be able to stay conscious too much longer. "Well, I just wanted to say thanks again. For everything."

"You got it."

"Goodnight, Luke."

"Goodnight crazy lady."

She hung up, and instantly slipped into a fitful sleep.

…

The next day screamed by as she and Rory went to check on her father. Needing to escape the tension of the room for a bit, she snuck downstairs to wander around. As she walked by the gift shop, something in the window caught her attention, and she ducked in to buy it.

After the good news was given about her father, she packed Rory up, and headed back into Stars Hollow, only stopping at Lane's, because Rory wanted to go with Lane to watch the practice procession. With Rory busy, instead of going home, she made her way to the diner, only slightly surprised to find it empty. It was later in the evening, but usually someone was still in there lingering. Silently thanking her good luck, she said her greetings, and walked up to the person she most wanted to see at that moment.

"Hey, how's your dad?"

"Better, though he says that life is not life unless it includes a steak." Remembering that there was actually something going on outside the diner's windows, she had to make sure she wasn't interrupting any plans he might have had. "How come you're not out with everybody?"

"I had some things to do."

"Right. Anyways, this is for you." She handed the bag she was holding to him, and wasn't surprised when he immediately questioned it.

"What's it for?"

"Just thank you, Christmas, whatever."

"Christmas isn't for two weeks."

"Do we really have to do this again?" She didn't miss the smirk he tried to hide when he pulled out the baseball hat she had bought that morning in the gift shop. "I just thought, you know, God forbid something happens to that one, you might need a spare." She pointed to the hat he was wearing as she talked, and then took the new hat from his hands. "Here." Placing it on his head, she stepped back to regard how he looked with the new hat, and quickly realized her mistake. "Does that look wrong." She reached out, pulled the hat off, turned it around, and put it back on his head, this time with it facing backwards. "There!"

Trying to ignore the way he was currently looking at her, because she was still too emotionally spent to focus on anything happening between the two of them, she turned to the window and was happy to see something that would distract them both. "Oh, hey, turn out the lights." She moved to the window, knowing full well he wasn't moving.

"For what? It's not the real procession, it's just the rehearsal."

"So, it's pretty."

"And why do they need to rehearse it? It's the same thing every year."

He was clearly launching into a rant to diffuse the slight tension in the air between the two, and she rolled her eyes. "Come on, Luke, please." The lights went out, and when she felt his presence beside her, she sighed in contentment. "It's hard to imagine living somewhere else, isn't it?"

"Thanks for the hat."

"You're welcome. Looks good on you."

"Good how?"

She rolled her eyes again at him, and didn't allow him the satisfaction of seeing her turn to look at him. "Just watch the procession." As she gazed out at the scene before her, deep down she knew that even though she told Luke to watch the procession, he was watching her, and that small part of her stomach tightened once again.

* * *

 **A/N -** Originally, I was going to end this chapter after Love and War and Snow, but my javajunkie heart wouldn't allow me to…


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:** Totally don't own these characters, or this world. I just like to be a part of it. I give all credit to the writers of this fantastic show for the dialogue I've borrowed.

 **Author's Notes:**

Apologies for any grammar errors in this, but my usual beta is caught up in wedding planning, and as such, is skipping the real world for a while. So, I'm beta-less, and on my own. She's almost done though, so, hopefully after this chapter, it'll start sounding better. ;)

Also, sorry for the delay on this one. Work, travel, all that good stuff kept me from writing. But, travel is done for a few weeks, so hopefully I can start cranking these out a little faster.

* * *

 **Eleven and Twelve**

She sat on the couch, cradling the answering machine in her lap. Her hair was piled on top of her head in wet curls, and her skin was still slightly damp, making her shiver in the cool air of the house. Of course, the phone had rung while she was in the middle of a bath, so she missed the call. All she wanted to do was just relax in the steaming water, but her motherly obligations forced her to get out, dry off, and walk downstairs to see if the message was from Rory. Rory was out that evening at Lane's, and rarely called when she was, but there was always a chance, and she didn't want to miss any kind of request or emergency from her daughter.

However, when she hit the play button, it was not Rory's little girl voice talking to her – no, it was the voice of a man she hadn't heard from in weeks.

 _Lorelai, it's Max. I want to apologize for being an idiot. After our amazing first date – and I do hope you agree it was amazing – I wanted nothing more to see you again. But then we seemed to keep missing each other on the phone, and when I didn't hear from you again, I was foolish enough to believe you wanted nothing else to do with me. I heard you loud and clear, Lorelai, about your dating rules around Rory, but after much thought and reflection, I really believe we can make this work. Let me try again, Lorelai. I want you, and I'm pretty sure you want me too. Call me._

A long, long sigh escaped through her lips. She could feel her heart quickening as her brain desperately tried to make sense of the situation. There had been no contact with Max since that epic first date, and it was like he had dropped off the face of the planet. And because the only time she really felt a pull towards him was when she saw him or heard his voice, it was easy to push him from her mind.

Then her father landed in the hospital, and Luke had been the one to be there for her. When things had calmed down, she had taken the time one night to really digest what happened during that night of chaos. Her mother assumed she and Luke were on a date that night, which is why he was the one to bring her, and she retorted that she had merely been at the diner when the call came in. While that was absolutely the truth, after thinking things through, she had to admit that even had she not been at the diner when that call came in, she would have called Luke to help. And that realization made her sit back and contemplate where she and Luke were in their relationship. They were friends for sure, and occasionally friends with benefits, but the benefits part seemed to have been waning lately, and she was beginning to wonder if it was because deeper feelings were being stirred up between the two of them.

During the holidays, she secretly wished that some sort of sign would be given to her in regards to Luke, but nothing came. In fact, just the opposite seemed to have happened. While she still went to the diner as often as she could, the two interacted less and less. True, she was slammed at the Inn because of the holidays, and he was busy dealing with the resulting tourist crowd in town, but it felt as though the magic that was being created a few weeks ago was gone.

So when she pressed the play button once again on the answering machine, Max's voice wafted through the quiet room, and curled around her like a warm blanket causing her to sigh. Here was a man who clearly wanted her. Sure, he had disappeared, but when she heard his wordsmithing, she found herself once again being enchanted by the professor. Maybe he was worth one more, final shot.

With one more deep breath, she picked up the phone, and dialed the number still floating around in her head after all this time. "Hi, Max? It's Lorelai…"

….

She had to admit, Rory's use of Max's first name threw her for a loop, and during the entire afternoon skating date, she couldn't stop thinking about how casual Rory had been about Max being a part of their lives. Ever since Rory was little, Lorelai kept to her strict rules of dating, and kept all men away from Rory so that no attachments could be made in case of any breakups. And, with her track record with men, she knew those rules were needed. But with Max, she had broken all of those rules. He was allowed in their house, Rory knew about him, and worse yet, interacted with him. And now, Rory was so attached to the relationship, she was calling Max by his first name.

It was no secret that Rory wanted some sort of fatherly figure in her life, and no matter how many times she denied it, Lorelai knew it to be true – which is exactly why she tried to keep the men in her life away from Rory. She was afraid of Rory becoming too attached, and now it was happening right in front of her eyes. As the afternoon wore on, she began to feel more and more troubled about her relationship with Max, and finally told Rory they needed to go home for the day. Besides, her feet her killing her.

As they walked home, Rory chatted endlessly about what they could do with Max, and Lorelai felt like a vice was squeezing her heart. Halfway home, Rory ran off to spend the rest of the day with Lane, and Lorelai limped the rest of the way to the house, ready to spend the afternoon with her feet in a tub of warm water while she contemplated the complexities of her personal life.

However, when she climbed the stairs to her front porch, and heard Sookie call her name from behind her, she plastered a smile on her face, and prepared herself for whatever her friend needed. Her alone time would have to wait for a bit.

"Hey, Sookie!"

"Hey, honey! How was skating?"

She whimpered, and leaned against the door frame. "My feet hate me, and I'm freezing."

"Aw, well, let's get you inside and I'll make you some tea."

She let Sookie usher her into her own home, and plopped down in one of the kitchen chairs as her friend bustled around the kitchen. Her thoughts were overwhelming, and it was only the loud whistle of the kettle that pulled her from her internal debate.

"So, what are you up to tonight?"

"Well, I'm going to do a little line dancing, then run a 10k, then just jump up and down really hard for about an hour."

"No Max?"

Just the mention of his name instantly had her annoyed. This was not what she wanted to be talking about right now. "No."

"Taking a night off?"

"I don't see him every night, Sookie." She could hear the bite in her words, and she instantly felt guilty. Her friend was only trying to have some quality girl talk, and didn't know her line of questioning was paralleling the debate Lorelai was having in her own head.

"He seems like a great guy."

"He is."

"That doesn't sound very convincing."

"No, he is. He is a great guy – for someone."

"For someone?"

"Yes."

"Someone else?"

"Yes." It was true. He was a good guy. He would be a great guy for anyone who wasn't her, because for her, it was too complicated.

"Someone else who is not you, although you're the person spending every waking hour with him."

"Right."

"Aha. How long have you been dating?"

The question threw her. Up to this point, she had been justifying breaking up with Max to Sookie, while convincing herself that breaking up with him was the right move. But, why was Sookie asking about how long they had been dating? "Why?"

"Two months you've been seeing him, right?"

Suddenly, Sookie's questioning seemed to be angling in a particular direction, and she could feel her previous annoyance once again bubbling to the surface. "Point Sookie?"

"Mmm. Just right on schedule, that's all."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"This is about the time you start doing your little getaway dance. Two months right on the nose – you're good."

Wait, what? No, this was not a pattern. This was her looking out for her daughter, and not at all a reflection of previous relationships. "I'm being practical. Rory is starting to get attached to Max and that's not good."

"Oh, Rory's getting attached to Max?"

"Yes, and since I've decided that Max is probably not the guy for me, I think it's better that we break it off before she gets hurt."

"Practical."

"Yes."

Sookie kept pushing, and Lorelai's mouth went off before her brain could stop it, and before she knew it, she was furiously apologizing to her best friend. Little did Sookie know, she had struck a nerve with her comments. It was true – she always seemed to run from guys around this time, because she could always feel herself getting attached. This time was different though – Rory was getting attached. She was already fully attached.

And so, with the decision in her mind made up, she let Sookie sing her Ricky Martin songs, and ran through the week's dinner menu with her friend, since that's what Sookie had come over about in the first place. Then, as the evening wore on, she dreaded the phone ringing. Every time it did, she would leave the room so she wouldn't have to hear his voice on the messages, because she knew hearing his voice would make her change her mind, and she couldn't change her mind.

During the next couple of days, the copy of Swann's Way seemed to burn a hole in her eyes every time she walked by it in the kitchen. It was a physical reminder of a bad decision that needed fixing, and because she was twelve, she was fixing the problem by ignoring it. And cleaning the fridge.

But then Rory had to come in and ask about Parent's Day the next day at school, and then correctly assumed a breakup between her mother and Max was imminent, and Lorelai couldn't deal, but once again tried avoidance. However, Rory was too smart for her own good, and an argument ensued. When Rory slammed the door on her, she pulled the mystery pizza out of the garbage and sighed. None of this was going as planned.

…

The rest of the week proved to continue the streak of poor decisions, and even worse outcomes. First came Parent's Day, during which she had promised herself she would break up with Max. But then when it came time to do so, he called her out on it, and then he started with that wordsmithing he did so well and she felt herself being drawn back to him, and immediately abandoned her plan to break up with him. And when his lips touched hers, she lost all sense of where she was, and the grand plan she had, and as she left the classroom, she couldn't remember why she wanted to break up with him in the first place.

But then Rory confronted her, and all of her fears came true. She had messed up her daughter's life – not because of how attached Rory was with Max – but in the way of embarrassing a teenager in front of her friends. As they argued in the hallway, she quickly remembered why she had intended to break up with Max, and vowed it still needed to be done. But, not right away, because first she needed to repair the relationship with her daughter.

Unfortunately she and Rory continued with the silent treatment for the remainder of the week, and for once she had the thought that maybe Friday night dinner would be the distraction. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case either, and of course Emily had heard what happened during Parent's Day in Max Medina's classroom. Of course she pointed out how embarrassing it was, and of course she pointed out that Max could have been "the one." Lorelai didn't want to believe that until Emily pointed it out, but it was true – Max could have been "the one" but now she absolutely needed to break up with him because their relationship was affecting too many people.

All weekend was spent avoiding Rory as she gathered her thoughts, and on Monday, as she sat alone in her office at the Inn, she called the number she had come to know so well. She knew she would get his voicemail – she had waited until the exact moment she knew he would be in class and wouldn't be able to answer - and when it came time to record, she almost chickened out, but forced herself to continue. "Max, it's me. Um, I know I haven't exactly been answering the phone the past few days, but, well, um, yeah." She paused and sighed before continuing. "Anyway, I'll be in Hartford tomorrow for my class, and I might just be stopping by my usual coffee shop at my usual time, so, if you happen to be in the area, I'll, uh, I'll be there."

She hung up, and then hung her head in her hands.

The next day, she was prepared for the breakup, but it hurt when he broke up with her first. She cried the whole way home, and collapsed in bed, only vaguely aware of Rory getting home later that evening.  
...

It only took her a day to recover from the break up with Max, and as the weeks rolled by, every time she watched a movie or tv show where the main character took weeks to recover from a breakup, she briefly wondered why it was so easy for her to get over Max. Did she ever really love him? Or had her parents so emotionally deprogrammed her that things like breakups just didn't bother her? Regardless of the reason, she decided to just dive into school to fully distract her from what could have been. There were so many homework assignments anyways, that it wasn't too difficult to do. The latest one, on Walmart, was so encompassing, she even had to bring it to work to work on during the slow moments of the day.

However, Michel seemed intent on keeping her from her studies, so she finally gave up and decided to seek out some coffee from the kitchen. The decision to be in the kitchen at that exact moment seemed to be a solid one as she was able to watch firsthand the awkward interaction between her best friend and Jackson, and could only laugh at Sookie's nerves about asking a boy out. She was excited for Sookie, and felt better about her day after leaving the giddy atmosphere of the kitchen.

With schoolwork still beckoning, she grabbed her books from the front desk, dutifully ignored Michel, and made her way back to her small office. She laid the books out in front of her, fully determined to master the complexities of Walmart, but her recent conversation with Sookie about having to make the first move pushed itself to the front of her thoughts.

No matter what was going on in her life, the one person she always went back to, was Luke. Over the years, there were moments when she wished he would just ask her out, and they could go on a real date. But then Rory had forbidden the relationship, and so the friends with benefits stage had remained constant. Even then however, she hoped he would ask her, and now with Max out of the picture, that hope was blossoming. But, maybe she needed to take some of her own advice she gave to Sookie. Maybe she needed to make the first move with Luke. Maybe she needed to not be the girl for once, and just go for it.

She blew out a breath and stood up. Once again, she needed a change of scenery, so she took her books back up to the front desk. However, after only a few minutes, she couldn't take it anymore, and slammed the book closed. "I give up."

"That's the spirit."

"I can't remember any of this crap."

"Well, not everyone is cut out to be their own boss. Maybe you are more of a worker bee, a follower, a ticket ripper, or the man at the concert with the orange glow stick directing you where to park."

Watching Michel as he spoke, she started to feel like he might have a point, but had to ask. "You're baiting me, aren't you?"

"No, I seriously have no faith in your aptitude."

She narrowed her eyes at him, and a comeback was on the tip of her tongue, but her attention was diverted by Sookie running to the desk in a jubilant rush because Jackson had called back. She was ecstatic for her friend, but as soon as Jackson's cousin was mentioned, she could feel something bad was going to result from this conversation. Especially when Sookie said she had come up with another option in regards to going on a date with Jackson. She knew she didn't want to know the answer, but she needed to know. "Which is?"

"That we double date with his cousin Rune and you."

Yup, it was bad. "What?"

"Yes, ok, not as good as your option, I agree. But it seemed pretty good at the time…though I wasn't standing here watching you make that face."

There were no words for the anger running through her veins at that moment, and she shook her head. "Sookie, no. I hate blind dates."

"I know, but this isn't a blind date. This is you keeping his cousin company while I have a date with Jackson."

"Oh God."

"Lorelai, please. I'll be your best friend."

"You are my best friend."

"And you're mine."

"I know I am."

"So what are best friends for?"

She was trapped. She was trapped, and there was no way out. This is exactly what best friends were for. She couldn't let Sookie down, so she very reluctantly agreed.

"Yes?"

"Yes, I'll go."

"Thank you, thank you, thank you. You will not regret this."

"Pick another phrase."

"You will not have to pay."

"Much better." A long sigh escaped her lips, and she started to pray for the date to already be over. Beside her, she could feel the smugness coming from Michel, and looked over at him, which only confirmed his smirking. "Oh, shut up." Defeated, she reopened her book and sat back down to study. Walmart was looking better and better.

….

A few days later, she entered the diner, scanned the room and noted there were several tables still available, including a couple near the window, so, with her newfound thoughts about Luke swirling through her head, she moved towards the counter, figuring she could move to a table once Rory showed up. She flopped her bag down on the counter, and then took off her coat, which she laid on the stool next to the one she intended to sit on. As she was sitting, Luke appeared out of the kitchen, and she could see that brief moment when his face softened a bit as he realized it was her. However, just as quickly as it had softened, it hardened right back up, but he still moved directly towards her, stopping only to grab the pot of coffee and a cup for her, which he placed directly in front of her.

"On your own tonight?"

"For the moment. Rory's finishing up a report, and said she would meet me here – something about my growling stomach was distracting her." The snort she heard from Luke instantly made her feel a bit better about her day, and she watched him as he finished pouring her cup of coffee. She was going to point out it was only half full – something he had been doing to her the past couple of months – but was cut off by him.

"Did you want to wait for her to order?"

Letting out a sigh, she shook her head. Something about his tone suggested to her that the topic of her half-full coffee cup was not one to be broached at the moment. "Nah, according to the volume level of my stomach, I think we're about to enter arm-eating territory here. I'll have a cheeseburger and fries."

"Red meat will kill you, you know."

"So will eating my arm. I hear there's a lot of blood loss when an appendage is removed. Also, the yuck factor."

Luke stared at her for a moment, then shook his head in defeat, and moved towards the kitchen to put in her order. As he walked away, she allowed herself a small smile. Their banter was slowly returning, but it definitely wasn't on par as it once was – how it was before she had gotten together with Max.

Max. Even the thought of the name made her sigh, and she once again thought about whether or not she actually cared about the man. As she watched Luke make his way around the diner, stopping at each table to make sure his patrons were taken care of, she understood that the way she thought about Luke had always been different than the way she thought about Max. With Max, he managed to encompass her thoughts when he was around, but when he wasn't, it was like she forgot he existed. With Luke however, even when she hadn't seen him for days, he would pop up in her mind, and she would suddenly have an intense craving to see him. And get coffee. Never forget the coffee.

And the fact he only filled her coffee cup up halfway during the entire time she was with Max, could have been construed as him trying to wean her off caffeine like he always threatened to do, but it more so seemed like he was angry at her. Combine that with their less than stellar banter over the past couple of months, she could only assume he didn't like she was dating Max. But why? And besides, she wasn't even dating Max anymore.

But as she watched him walk to the pass to get someone's order, and take it to their table, the thought entered her mind that Luke didn't know she wasn't dating Max anymore. Suddenly, all she wanted to do was blurt across the diner to him that she was single, but even she knew that was inappropriate. Instead, she watched him over the rim of her coffee cup as she sipped it. He moved fluidly behind the counter, putting dishes away, ringing up customers' checks, and making sure everything was stocked for any remaining customers coming in that evening.

With her burger still grilling, and him still ignoring her to the best of his abilities, she sighed and put down her cup, crossing her arms on the counter. "It's slow tonight." It wasn't the greatest opening line, but, it was something. However, he didn't even turn to her when he answered, and that greatly bugged her.

"It's Saturday. These nights can go either way."

Sensing he wasn't in the mood to talk, she decided to just get to the point in her own roundabout way. "It's date night. You'd think all the couples of Stars Hollow would be here getting their pie on."

"I don't even want to guess what you mean by that."

"Uh, I'm not sure where your dirty mind is at there, buddy. I was merely implying that people like to eat pie."

When he didn't answer, she started to lose hope on their conversation, and was already desperately trying to figure out what to say. Thoughts of her love of pie were bubbling to her tongue and about to burst out when he finally did speak.

"Where's your date tonight?"

There it was. His bluntness threw her for a second, but she felt herself relaxing slightly, knowing she was definitely going to have the opportunity to tell him she was single. "Who, Rory? I told you, she's at home finishing up a paper." Dammit, where had that come from? She hadn't meant to answer in a quip. Sometimes her mouth was too quick for her brain.

Luke turned around then and fixed a brief glare in her direction before grabbing a rag from under the counter, and focusing his attention on cleaning the counter. "You know who I mean."

Another quip was fighting to be heard, but she managed to fight through it and say what she really wanted to say. "I'm not dating anyone. I'm as single as they come."

Her words made Luke stop wiping the counter, and he looked up at her. "What?"

They made eye contact, and it seemed like a thousand words were said between the two, but before either could speak, Caesar's voice rang out from the kitchen.

"Burger up!"

The spell was broken between the two, but as Luke moved towards the pass window to get Lorelai's burger, she was fully intent on continuing their conversation upon his return.

"Mom!"

She briefly glanced skyward and blew a breath out of her lips as she heard Rory's voice. The conversation with Luke would have to wait. Instead, she plastered a smile on her face and swiveled on the stool to her daughter. "Hey, kid! Finish that paper?" As she stood, she reached for her purse and jacket, and gestured towards a table by the window for them to sit at.

"Yeah. The Russian Revolution." Rory collapsed in a chair and buried her head in her hands. "I never want to see the words "Red" or "White" ever again."

She sat down across from her daughter and glanced up at Luke as he placed her burger in front of her. The eye contact they made lasted longer than necessary, and she could feel a distinct shift in the mood between the two of them before he shifted his gaze over to Rory.

"Rory, you want anything?"

"Pie."

She shrugged when Luke looked back at her and raised an eyebrow. Thankfully, he didn't say anything about diets, and walked away to retrieve the slice of pie.

"Aww, you ok, sweets?"

Rory lifted her head from her hands. "Yeah. I'm just happy it's done, so I can relax tomorrow. Hey, maybe we can do a movie night tonight?"

"Absolutely. What are you in the mood for? Heaven's Gate? Howard the Duck? Ishtar?"

"Worst movies of the 80s?"

She shrugged as she picked up her burger. "Hey, there's nothing that'll get your mind off the Bolsheviks faster than a live action talking duck."

Rory considered it for a second. "That's true."

"Your pie."

"Thanks, Luke."

She watched as Rory happily dug into her slice of pie, but couldn't help but notice that Luke also held a pot of coffee, and filled her cup to the rim before walking away.

…..

The night had been a disaster. As soon as she and Sookie had overheard Jackson and Rune talking about her, she knew there wasn't enough liquor in the world to make the night go smoothly. So when dinner clearly wasn't going well, and the opportunity to go to Luke's came up, she threw it out there like a hot potato, and had to use all of her power to not dance a jig right there in the fancy restaurant when Sookie agreed it was a good idea.

But for as calm as she appeared on the outside, when they entered the building which was as comfortable to her as her own home, she didn't hesitate in running away from the group. She needed to get away from the oppressing awkwardness, and be with someone who enjoyed her company, and vice versa. When she walked up to the counter, his presence was a welcome relief, and if there hadn't been people around in that moment, she would have grabbed two fistfuls of his flannel, and dragged him upstairs to do unspeakable things to him. Especially with that look he was giving her. It had been months since they had last been together, and their usual banter was starting to shift noticeably back to flirting, and she was getting to the point that she wanted their friends with benefits relationship kick up again. She also had a feeling he was thinking the same thing.

"Hey."

"Hey. Four menus, a coffee, and an anvil please."

"What's the anvil for?"

"For Rune."

"What's a Rune?"

She sighed. "Please, not that question again." As he turned to get the menus she requested, she sat down at the counter, already feeling good about the decision to come here instead of suffering any longer at the other place.

"Ok. Here you go."

After looking over at her group, she looked back at the counter and noticed that once again, she had a full cup of coffee in front of her. Yes, she and Luke were definitely back on track, and she had no interest in leaving him tonight. Maybe she could get lucky and wait out the disaster date and the other patrons in the diner, and finish the night off upstairs. Yup, that was a good plan, and one she was fully intent on fulfilling. "Mind if I hang out here a sec?"

"Why? What's going on over there?"

"Sookie and Jackson are on their first date."

"Seems to be going well."

"I think I'll wear blue to the wedding."

"Who's the other guy?"

"That's Jackson's cousin. He's my date!" The sarcasm dripped from her words, but she looked over at Luke so he knew there was no way anything was actually happening between her and Rune. But, as usual, he knew her, and immediately picked up on it, and began to play along with her.

"Lucky girl!"

"Yes, I think so. He is, believe it or not, even less thrilled with the match up than I am."

"You're kidding, why?"

"I'm too tall."

He laughed, unable to believe what she was telling him. "Get out."

"I'm serious."

"Doesn't he understand how great that is? You can get all the stuff from the top shelf."

"Exactly. That is exactly what I bring to a relationship. Explain that to him will you." The need for coffee was overpowering, and she picked up her cup to take a sip. "Mmm, Luke, that is an exceptionally good batch of coffee."

"Yeah?"

"Hello!"

"I added a little nutmeg."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"That's very… Richard Simmons of you."

"Well, what can I say – chicks dig a man with a feminine side."

"Oh." She could feel her blood humming because of the flirty banter and was ready to continue with the conversation, but a disturbance from Sookie's table distracted her, and she and Luke both turned to watch Rune stand up and start arguing with Jackson. She watched with glee as Sookie asked Jackson to stay, and as Rune walked out. Suddenly, things were going fantastically well.

"I guess you'll only need three menus now."

"Hey, why don't you make up three fabulous cheeseburgers and send two over there. I'll have mine here."

"First I gotta watch a man walk out on you, then I have to watch you eat alone. Nope. Too pathetic."

"I'm not eating alone. You're here." And frankly, he was the only person she needed.

"I'm working."

"Yeah, but after three cheeseburgers, you're done, unless you're expecting Elijah to stop by."

"Ok. Fine. 5-card draw."

The man never ceased to amaze her, and she was shocked when he pulled out a deck of cards, but was immediately giddy. "Oh! You're on." She watched as Luke dealt the cards, picked them up, and carefully looked them over before laying four of them down. "Give me four." When he put four new ones in front of her, she looked them over, frowned, and put them back down. "Ah, no. Four more."

"You can't have four more. Those are the four I dealt you."

"Well, these don't help me, and I have vowed to discard anything negative in my life. First, Rune, and now these four cards."

"Whatever you say."

She looked at the four new cards and smiled. "Oooo, much better. Thank you."

"Rune knew when to run away."

"Ha." The sounds of Sookie and Jackson giggling in the corner had her turning, and the sight before her had her heart melting. Before she knew it, she was saying exactly what she was thinking. "God, that's nice."

"Yep."

"The whole 'first date, beginning of the relationship' glow. Everything is new and exciting."

"Every joke is hilarious."

"Every little touch is incredible."

"Mm hmm."

"God, that's a good feeling."

"It is at that."

"I miss that." She really did. As much as she thought of herself as Wonder Woman, she was lonely.

"You'll have it again."

When Luke spoke, she turned away from watching the first date to look at him, surprised at his conviction. "Mmm. I guess."

"You know, maybe sometime we could…"

The door slamming behind her made her jump and she turned to see Mrs. Kim's panicked face striding quickly towards her.

"Where are the girls?"

"What?" The question threw her. One minute she was sure Luke was going to ask her out, and then the next, she was trying to rack her brain as to what Rory had said she and Lane were doing that evening.

"Lane said she's with you and Rory."

"W..slow down."

"I call, no answer. I think they are at the video store. I call again. No answer. I call a third time. No answer!"

As Mrs. Kim frantically questioned the girls' whereabouts, and immediately shifted to disgust about the prospect of the girls being with Dean, Lorelai knew she had to follow as Mrs. Kim ran out of the diner to find their daughters. While they were running through the street towards the BWR, Lorelai realized she had missed an opportunity with Luke, and knew she needed to revisit their conversation soon. Now however, she needed to find Rory and Lane, and try to keep Mrs. Kim from sending Lane to Korea on the spot.

….

"Any messages?"

"Yeah, just one. I'll get it."

As Rory listened to the message, Lorelai ran up the stairs to change clothes. She needed to be at the Inn for a late shift, but wanted to stop at diner for some food before she went. Tossing some clothes on that smelled vaguely clean, she bolted back down the stairs, grateful she didn't trip on the way. "Who called?"

Rory came out of her room, already ready to go. "Just that weird caller again. Ready?"

As Rory moved ahead of her towards the front door, Lorelai felt her heart quicken. Long ago, when making their code phrase for Luke to use when Lorelai answered, they had also come up with what to do if either Rory answered, or it went to the answering machine. With Rory, a hang up was the easiest method, but with the answering machine, Luke would stay quiet on the phone for exactly 10 seconds before hanging up. It was quick and efficient, and easy to play off as a weird caller. But when had he called? It must have been the night after she rushed out of the diner with Mrs. Kim. Closing the door behind her, she bounced down the stairs. He must have called to check up on her, which was something he hadn't been doing for months. A smile formed on her lips as she walked up to the Jeep. Things were definitely changing between the two of them.

As she rounded the corner to the town square, she parked the Jeep a little further from the diner than usual, and turned to Rory. "Hey, why don't you go on ahead to Luke's? I need to stop in to pick up something for the Inn from Mrs. Kim."

Rory shook her head, not even looking up from the book she was reading. "You go on ahead. I'm almost done with this chapter. Just get me if I'm still in here when you're done."

Sometimes she couldn't believe Rory was her own daughter, but smiled as she got out of the Jeep and headed towards the antique shop. After plunking down thirty-five hard earned dollars for a broken piece of ceramic, she hoped her words to Mrs. Kim about Lane had at least hit home a little bit. Otherwise, she wasn't sure what else she could do. As she walked up to the Jeep, Rory hopped out, waving a piece of paper. "Mom! You didn't tell me you got your essay on Walmart back!"

"Oh! Yeah!" Happy to be on a lighter note, she discussed the paper with Rory on the way to the diner, and quickly moved the topic to Sookie and Jackson before being interrupted by Rory's pager. She watched as Rory ran outside to call her friend, but snuck a glance at Luke, smiling to herself. To keep herself busy while Rory talked to Lane, she pulled out her paper, and smiled at the grade she received. Maybe Rory did get her smarts from her. But as she started to read the comments left by her professor, the one voice she always looked forward to hearing was suddenly beside her.

"Hey."

She turned and smiled at him. "Hey."

"I haven't seen you since the other night. Everything turn out ok?"

It was a variation of their code phrase, and she was painfully aware of the other people around her in the diner, so she had to play it cool. "Oh yeah, fine. The dating world of 16 year olds. Very exciting stuff."

"I bet. Oh, uh, coffee?"

"Do you have to ask?" She watched him pour the coffee and noticed he was filling it to the top. So, she took a deep breath, and knew this was it. This was the moment where she needed to make the first move. "You know, I had a good time the other night – with the cards." Ok, it wasn't the most forward first move, but, it was a first move all the same.

"Oh yeah. Yeah, me too."

"Good."

"Yeah, in fact, you rushed out of here before I had a chance to um…"

This was it! He was going to ask her out! She mentally patted herself on the back for the solid advice she gave herself. Making the first move was definitely working out to her advantage. But then she realized he had paused, so she knew she needed to prod him along. "A chance to...?"

"Kick your ass in poker."

Oh. God. She had read this all wrong. He didn't want to date her. He probably was going to ask her to stay that night – which, is what she had intended to do anyways that night before Mrs. Kim ran in, regardless of where she thought their relationship was going. How could she be so wrong? She needed to save this moment though, so he wouldn't see her disappointment, so she forced out a chuckle. "You wish."

"Burger?"

"Two. And fries."

"Maybe we could do it again sometime."

Wait, was he asking her out? Or was he asking her to continue their friends with benefits? He had used the variation of their code phrase. God, how could she be so far off on what he was looking for from her? "Oh, yeah, well, I…I would like that." But what would she like? Continuation of their friends with benefits? Something more?

Her musings were interrupted when Rory ran in, and she couldn't help but be wrapped up in her daughter's glee. But as Rory ran out to spend time with her newly freed friend, Lorelai turned her attention back to her very full cup of coffee, and watched Luke as he walked away.

….

The Inn was dead. Even for the late shift, it was dead. So, Tobin being Tobin, told her to just go home, and promised he would call if anything came up. As she walked out of the Inn, she was grateful for the extra few hours to herself, especially since Rory wasn't expecting her any time soon. With that in mind, she detoured from her usual route back home, and instead parked near Sookie's house. If anyone saw her Jeep, they would assume she was spending the evening with Sookie. If Sookie saw her Jeep, she could make up an excuse of it dying on her way home after her shift, and she had walked the remainder of the way, not wanting to wake anyone up. And if the Jeep just so happened to magically start up the next day, well, so be it.

Regardless of the brilliance of her plan, she traded her high heels for flats, so she wouldn't make any clicking noises as she walked down the sidewalks on her way to the diner. Finally, she made it to her destination, and reached above the door for her key. Keeping to her usual routine, she took a step back from the door, looked both ways, and confident no one was looking, jammed the key in the lock, and quickly stepped in.

With her heart jackhammering in her chest, she locked the door behind her, and strode quickly across the floor to the staircase, pausing only to leave the key on the corner of the counter before slipping past the curtain, and up the stairs to Luke's apartment. She let herself in, and turned to quietly close the door behind her.

"Hey there."

The unexpected voice made her jump about a foot in the air, and she turned to lean against the door, holding her hand to her heart, making sure it wouldn't explode out of her chest. "Oh…my God. I think I'm having a heart attack." She took large gulps of air, willing her heart to stop hammering as she watched Luke cross the apartment towards her. "What are you doing?" His grin was the only thing keeping her from passing out from fright.

"I could ask you the same thing."

"I told you. I'm over here having a heart attack. God."

As he approached her, he pulled her into his arms, and she sighed against his chest as her heart finally started to slow.

"Jeez, Luke." She pulled back and swatted at him before she moved past him and collapsed on the couch. "What are you doing up, anyways?"

He watched as she peeled herself out of her coat, and flipped off her shoes. "I was getting a glass of water, and noticed some movement in the street. I realized it was you, and decided to say hi when you came in."

"Well, next time turn a light on or something." She pressed a hand to her chest. Her heart still hadn't fully recovered.

"Sorry." He glanced back towards his bed before looking back at her. "Did you have something you wanted to talk about?"

His glance towards the bed did not go unnoticed by her, and it was the answer to her question at the moment. Yes, deep down, she wanted to know if he thought they could be more than friends, but maybe he wasn't ready for that. And frankly, in this moment, in the stillness of the night, she could care less what could be between the two of them. In this moment, she just wanted to feel every inch of him, and get lost in him. He was the one person who could make her forget about everything else happening in her life, and could make the dark days seem bright. He was the one who made her happy, and was the one who could ease her stress. So, with that in mind, she looked up at him, and shook her head. "Nope. Nothing."

He nodded. "Well, I'm going back to bed. Care to join?"

"Absolutely." She stood up, and walked into his arms, instantly forgetting everything she was thinking about as his lips touched hers.

Afterwards, she laid curled up in his arms, his warm skin pressed against hers, and she thought back to their conversation earlier in the day. Maybe they could play cards again sometime. And maybe this time they could actually have dinner together. Yes, she definitely wanted to revisit that particular conversation, but for the moment, she was at peace with where she was.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer:** Totally don't own these characters, or this world. I just like to be a part of it. I give all credit to the writers of this fantastic show for the dialogue I've borrowed.

 **Author's Notes:**

Ok, so, question for you all. Did you want me to continue keeping canon exactly the same, but just their affair running in the background? Because there are definitely moments throughout the seasons which make this easy and fun to consider. Or, did you want me to start tweaking canon to get these two crazy kids together officially? Let me know in the comments!

Also the first section of this chapter ramps up to an M rating, so skip the section if that's not your thing…

* * *

 **Thirteen**

Her back slammed against the storeroom wall, and a small part of her brain noted she was going to have a bruise there tomorrow. However, that small part of her brain was quickly forgotten when Luke's lips descended on her own. When he pulled back for a second to change angles, she breathed out a quip. "Are you sure your insurance policy is ok with me being here?"

He didn't answer her right away - instead, he again pressed his lips to hers, hard and demanding as his tongue plundered her mouth. When they both felt dizzy from desire, he pulled back slightly so he could pull her shirt over her head, giving him a moment to speak. "You're really asking me that now?"

As her shirt went flying, and his hands returned to her body, skimming across her waist and up her ribcage, settling there so his thumbs could brush the undersides of her breasts, she quickly regretted trying to make a joke. "You're right. I'm sorry." She reached around him, and pulled him sharply against her body, the bulge in his pants hitting her right where she needed it. "Oh, my god, Luke." Her voice squeaked out as she gasped for air, while her fingers fumbled with his belt buckle, desperate to release him and touch him.

His fingers travelled to her bare legs, and traced up, pausing briefly as they reached the hem of her skirt, but quickly continued up, causing her skirt to bunch at his wrists as he grabbed at her underwear, and pulled it down, so it fell at the floor.

Thinking she might lose her mind, she pulled desperately at Luke's shirts, dislodging his hands from her as she pulled the shirts up and over his head. When her bare chest touched his, she only dimly realized he had at some point removed her bra as well.

She framed his face with her palms, and crushed her lips to his, their tongues instantly fighting for supremacy. Her body was on fire, and she was pretty sure she whimpered when she felt his hands cover her breasts and squeeze. Suddenly, she was desperate, and rubbed herself against Luke's thigh which was now shoved between her legs.

They had to be quick, so she didn't complain when his one hand left her breast, and instead dipped down under her skirt. And when she felt his deft fingers slide against her core, and then dip inside her, any and all complaints she could ever have, melted away. She threw her head back in ecstasy and felt her insides start to tighten. She was already so close, but couldn't let herself go. She needed him inside her, and needed him now, so she pulled her head forward, and dropped her forehead on Luke's shoulder, breathing hard, and trying to gather her senses enough to speak. "Luke, stop. I need you inside me."

Thankfully he understood her broken request, pulled his fingers out, and pushed down his pants, stepped out of them, and kicked them aside. He stepped back into her, grabbed the back of her thigh, and pulled her leg up high on his waist. When she could feel his tip press against her entrance, she jumped up on him, wrapping both of her legs around his waist, trusting him to hold her up.

With her settled, he looked into her darkened eyes, and when she nodded, he drove into her. As usual, the feeling of him fully sheathed within her made her lose all sense of her surroundings, and as he stroked in and out of her, she knew she wouldn't be able to last long. After only a few more strokes, she could feel her insides tightening around him, and her climax exploded through her body, leaving stars dancing across her eyes. She was only vaguely aware of him pounding into her a few more times and filling her as he reached his own climax.

When she finally felt herself coming back down to earth, she found it hard to breathe since Luke was pressing his full body weight into her, holding her tight against the wall. She didn't mind though. She could have stayed there forever, but he couldn't hold her weight forever, and she could feel his arms shaking. He slowly lowered her to the floor, keeping her pinned to the wall, which she was grateful for, because her legs were still wobbly. She dropped her head to his shoulder, tilting it so she could press her lips to his neck. "Wow."

"Yeah."

He pulled back and out of her, and she felt her skirt which had been bunched around her stomach, flutter back down over her legs. They stayed wrapped around each other, and she could feel his heart beating wildly against her chest. His skin was slick with sweat, and enveloped her in its warmth. As he held her, she once again wished they could move past the friends with benefits routine and move into something more.

As her thoughts grew deeper, she sighed, knowing she needed to get home, because she had been gone much longer than originally anticipated. "I really did come for coffee."

Luke chuckled and pulled back, placing a tender kiss on her forehead. "Of course you did, crazy lady." He reached down to retrieve her shirt, which he threw at her before picking up his own clothes to dress. As they moved towards the door, he reached down and entwined their fingers together for a moment before leaving the storeroom.

...

"Jeez, what took you so long?"

She had barely made it in the house before Rory was on her, and in self-defense, she shoved the tray of to-go cups close to Rory's nose, just in case there was any lingering smell of Luke on her. In all the times she and Luke had been together, they had never been together at a time when she might have to interact with anyone immediately following. The night had been an anomaly. She really had gone out with the full intent to bring some coffee to Rory. The poor kid was trying to stay awake to finish studying, and had already used up the last of their in-house coffee supply so, being the wonderful mommy she was, Lorelai had offered to go to the diner to bring some back to her.

However, as soon as she got in the diner, she could feel the oppressive sexual tension between her and Luke, and it took everything in her power not to jump him right then and there. Besides, there were still two tables of people so she had to behave. So, she sat at the counter sipping at her full cup of coffee as Luke and her bantered back and forth, their conversation soon dripping with innuendo. Finally, Luke had stepped back, breaking the haze of desire building between the two, and turned to fill the now empty coffee pot so she could bring back coffee for Rory. However, the final two tables finished at the same time, and as she swiveled on her stool to watch him bus the tables, she was shocked to see him turn the sign on the door to closed, throw the deadbolt, kill the lights, and stalk directly towards her, grabbing her hand, and tugging her up and off the stool and towards the storeroom.

She would never look at that storeroom the same again.

When they were done, so was the coffee, and she gathered her to-go cups to get back to Rory. Luke walked her to the door, and brushed his fingertips on her ass as she left, only serving to further fan the flames of desire, making her wish once more they could somehow make their relationship more official, and therefore more able to be public. Thankfully, she had the walk home to cool down, but her blood was still humming as she walked in the door, and Rory's instant presence made her nervous.

"Uh, he was out of coffee, so I had to wait for another pot to brew."

Rory grabbed the tray of coffee and moved towards the kitchen. "Please, I know how long it takes for one of Luke's pots to brew. You were gone way longer than that."

She followed Rory into the kitchen, making sure to stay downwind, if that was even possible inside a house. She grabbed her own to-go cup, and smiled at the very recent memories of why that coffee took so long to brew.

"Why are you smiling like that?"

"Hmmm?" Rory's voice pulled her out of her musings, and she quickly realized she needed to cover. "Uh, no reason." And she failed miserably.

"What aren't you telling me?"

She felt like a deer trapped in headlights, and quickly thought of anything that could be said in the situation, before sighing. "Fine. You got me. Luke gave me some pie while I was waiting, and I got distracted." Her heart quickened as she realized the euphemism that dripped from her words, and hoped Rory wouldn't pick up on it. Luke gave her something while she was waiting, alright.

"You had pie and didn't get any for me?"

Rory's screech was enough to pull her fully into the current conversation, and she shrugged her shoulders as she took another sip of coffee, and angled her way towards the entryway of the kitchen. "Sorry, kid. You stay, you lose. Next time if you want pie, you need to be the one to go on the late night coffee run. I'm gonna go take a shower." She backed out of the kitchen, loped up the stairs, and went straight for the bathroom. Finally she was away from her much too observant daughter, and closed the bathroom door behind her. As she pulled her shirt off, she got a whiff of the scent that was distinctly Luke, and she shuddered in pleasure. Over the past few weeks, the subject of going out on a date never resurfaced, but their friends with benefits agreement seemed to have kicked up a notch. While she still hoped in the back of her mind they might finally shift their relationship to something deeper, what they had at the moment was working out swimmingly.

...

The next day, she was already regretting everything having to do with the rummage sale. Especially since, as Rory pointed out, it was all of her own doing. So she put her hands on her hips and glanced around her room to see what clothes she had that she wouldn't mind giving away. As she was doing so, she heard the voice which just last night was whispering dirty things in her ear, so she blindly grabbed a few more items, and bounded down the stairs, desperate to see him again. As she approached her daughter, she dropped the clothes in her hands near where Rory was standing. "Here, Grinch."

"Thank you."

Reaching for a reason to go into the kitchen, she figured the desire for a snack would suffice. Maybe she could sneak in another kind of snack while she was in there… "Who wants cheese?"

"Are there crackers?"

"Somewhere in the state of Connecticut, yes, there are crackers."

"And the Gilmore house?"

Of course Rory had to be sarcastic and effectively throw a wrench in plans to get to the kitchen. However, her need to see Luke was way too strong, so she just pushed forward with the offer for a snack, hoping the irritation in her voice wasn't too apparent. "Who wants cheese?"

Lane finally asked for some, allowing Lorelai to escape to her kitchen. She glanced back, and satisfied the two girls were engrossed in their sorting project, snuck into the kitchen to find her prize. Sure enough, there he was, bent over, putting down a box near the back door. She chewed on the inside of her cheek as she gazed lustily at that fine jean covered ass, but waited for him to stand up, and then pressed her body against his, reaching around to cup him firmly as she whispered in his ear. "Hey there, sailor."

Before she knew it, he had twisted in her arms, and pushed her back against the counter, trapping her there when he put his arms around her, resting his palms on the counter. He angled towards her, and her heart started pumping as she got ready for him to kiss her right there in her kitchen in broad daylight. However, his lips moved past hers to her ear, and his breath was hot against her skin as he spoke. "Don't even think about starting something you can't finish."

When he pulled back to look her in the eye, she winged an eyebrow up, and gave him a seductive smile. She knew this wasn't the time nor the place, but god, she loved being around him. However, knowing she needed to diffuse the situation before they ended up getting caught, she licked her lips, and whispered to him. "I promise I'll finish later if you put a rummage sale sign in the diner window." When he narrowed his eyes at her, and puffed out a sigh, she knew she had him. She winked, and then tilted her head back a bit so she wouldn't yell directly in his ear and shouted for the kids in the other room. "Ah! There's a man in my kitchen! Somebody call the constable."

Before pulling away, he trailed a finger along the waistband of her pants, and then pulled away to head into the living room towards the girls. "Your mom's a fruitcake."

She trailed closely behind him, wanting to be near him for as long as possible, and countered right back. "Fruitcakes by the door, please."

"Goodbye Rory. I wish you luck. With everything."

He stood well within her personal space as he spoke, and as he walked towards the door, she caught the wink he threw her, and she allowed herself a few brief moments to imagine just how she would finish what she had started in the kitchen. But she knew she couldn't think too long about that without needing to run to the diner to act out her thoughts, and since that wasn't possible, she threw herself immediately into figuring out how to make some semblance of order in the room.

...

A few days later, she strutted her way to the diner. She had discovered the best part about running the rummage sale – she had first dibs on everything that came in. As such, she was currently rocking a rhinestone studded sweatshirt, and a polka dotted cowboy hat. No one could ever say she was demure about her fashion choices.

As she made it to the diner, she noted the Rummage Sale sign in the window, and smiled. Last night she had made good on her promise to Luke for him putting the sign up, and as such, she was feeling pretty good about life at the moment.

She spotted Rory the second she entered the diner, and headed straight towards the counter to sit next to her. "Margaret Atworthy just dropped off three boxes of city council pot holders and begged me to take her grandson. People are getting crazy, man. What?" The look Rory was giving her threw her off her verbal diatribe, but she chose to act ignorant about what she knew Rory was going to say.

"What are you wearing?"

"Hey, we have already argued about the sweatshirt."

"Yes, but we have not argued about the hat."

"What hat?"

"The one on your head, Annie Oakley."

And there it was. Sometimes it was so much fun to tease her daughter, and frankly, the hat was fabulous. In an ironic sort of way. "It's great, isn't it?"

"As nice as it is that you're single handedly trying to rebuild the bridge, you have got to stop buying up other people's junk."

"The money goes to charity. I look cute. Case closed. Oh finally, the coffee cavalry arrives." The sight of Luke always made her feel better about everything.

"What the hell do you think you're wearing?"

"A hat."

"Take that off."

Usually when Luke asked her to take her clothes off, it was in a very different situation, and with a very different tone of voice. At the moment, his voice had a dark edge to it, and it was throwing her off, because she couldn't understand where he was coming from. "What?"

"Now that is not yours, take it off."

"But I'll have hat hair."

"I'm talking about the sweatshirt."

For the life of her, she couldn't figure out what was riling Luke up so much, but his level of agitation was beginning to worry her. "Luke, calm down."

"That is not yours."

"No, I found it in the bags of stuff for the sale."

"Oh, so you just find something and then take it, is that it?"

"No, I paid for it."

"Oh, so that makes it alright."

She could feel her heart start to beat faster, and not in the way it usually did when Luke was around her. He was really angry, and she wasn't sure what she did. "It makes it legal. What is the matter with you?"

"Nothing. Nothing is the matter."

"Luke…"

"Pour your own coffee."

When he slammed down the coffee pot on the counter, she felt as though he had slapped her across the face. And it was worse, because she legitimately couldn't figure out what was wrong. She glanced over at Rory, expecting her daughter to say something about the interaction, but something in her eyes must have clued Rory in to staying quiet. She turned back to the counter and grabbed a menu, but after a few moments of looking through the menu without actually looking at anything, she knew she couldn't stay there much longer. The tension in the air was palpable, and it was eating her alive. "You know, um, I think I'm actually just going to head back to the house and deal with that mess." She slid off the stool, and started backing away towards the door. "Stay. Get some food. I'll see you later."

"Mom."

She knew Rory wanted to ask what was wrong, but she couldn't handle it in the moment. How had she and Luke gone from what happened last night to him looking at her with venom in his eyes? It was too much. She needed to get out before she started to cry. "I'm fine. Just…I need to get working. Stay, eat. I'll see you later." With that, she slipped out the door, and felt the tears start to slide down her cheeks as she walked back towards the house.

...

With Sookie around, and a mess in front of her, she was able to push her interaction with Luke to the back of her mind. However, each time her stomach growled, she once again felt the pang of worry of what was going on with him. Thankfully, Rory finally showed up, and she was fully ready to put her to work, until Rory reminded her of the study date for the day. As she looked around the mess of the house, she sighed, knowing her poor daughter was going to have to deal with rich, judgmental kids, in a house that looked worse than usual. Deep down, she knew the torment her friends she had at Rory's age would have thrown on a peer like Rory, knowing she didn't come from money, and then for the first time, to see where she lived, and it looked like this. She wished there was a way to fix this, but knew it was futile, and only hoped her winning personality could win over the study group of girls.

But then Patty showed up, and with her came a very large set of drums, and Lorelai could only sigh. There was no hope for Rory today. None. And when Patty picked up the sweatshirt which had caused all the drama in the morning, she instantly wished she could just somehow fast-forward to later that night. But then Patty seemed to recognize her…Luke's…her sweatshirt, and she was instantly intrigued. Maybe through Patty, she could get some insight as to what was going on with Luke.

"I bet this was Rachel's."

She looked over at Sookie, to whom the statement was made, and was on high alert for her friend's answer. Who was Rachel? And how did both Patty and Sookie seem to know about her?

"Oh my god. Rachel's?"

She wasn't sure why, but as soon as the name 'Rachel' was said, worry instantly creeped into her veins. "Rachel? Who's Rachel?"

"Rachel was Luke's very serious girlfriend. It does look like her."

Girlfriend? Luke had a girlfriend? When? It sounded like it was past tense. That was good, right? But how past tense was it? Years past tense? Yesterday past tense? Did she really know so little about the man she'd been sleeping with for years? "When did Luke have a girlfriend?"

Patty jumped in then, and she turned her attention. "Oh, this must have been what, five, six years ago? Did she break that man's heart. It was terrible."

She quickly did the math calculations in her head, and even though she had gotten together with Luke about a year after this Rachel apparently left, it still made her wonder if she had been a rebound for him. Especially since he never once brought up any mention of Rachel. That in itself hurt a little, and she couldn't believe he hadn't told her. "How did I not know about this?" Once the words left her mouth, she realized her inner musings caused her to slip, and she froze for a second, hoping the question made sense in the current conversation.

"Honey, you had an 11 year old kid and you were just moving into this house. Plus Rachel traveled all the time. She was a photographer."

"Archeologist."

"Really?"

"Or a flight attendant."

Dumbfounded. That's how she felt in the moment. Dumbfounded. "I can't believe I never even heard about it."

"At least, I think so."

"Well, Luke never talks about it. No one else likes to talk about it because he could probably kill you with that coffee pot if he wanted to."

Her thoughts instantly went back to Luke slamming the coffee pot on the counter in front of her that morning, and she had to almost agree with Sookie. But regardless, this new information was tough to process. "Wow. I never pictured Luke having a girlfriend, or a broken heart."

"Well, I would keep this hidden if I were you."

She said her goodbyes to Patty, but was distracted by her newfound history of Luke. Even the arrival of Rory's study group couldn't quell her need for more information, and so almost as soon as she and Sookie were settled in her room to start mending, she started asking questions. "So tell me more about this Rachel."

"Why are you so curious?"

Warning bells were going off in her head that she was close to blowing her and Luke's cover, but she couldn't help it. She needed to know. Suddenly there was a girl in Luke's life she had known nothing about, and for some reason, it really bothered her that she didn't know. "Well, because apparently everybody in town knows everything about it, and I don't like to be out of the loop."

"It's old news."

"Yeah, but I'm fascinated. I mean, I go to Luke's once a day, sometimes twice – three times if Michel has talked to one of his relatives and his accent has gotten thicker. I feel I should know the whole story. What happened? Where'd she go?"

"Well, Rachel liked to move around a lot. She was a very adventurous person. She loved to climb things and fling herself off of cliffs and dive into these really tiny lakes and ride big wild horses and fly planes."

At Sookie's words, she could feel her heart tighten. No wonder Luke hadn't bothered to ask her out on a date, or move any further with her than their friends with benefits relationship. There was no way she could compare to someone like Rachel. "So, she was wonder woman."

"She was to Luke. I thought they were going to get married."

Her heart tightened even more. Married? Luke was close to getting married before he hooked up with her? "What happened?"

"The rumor is that Stars Hollow was too small for her. She wanted to live somewhere more exciting."

"But Luke didn't."

"Mmm hmm. You know Luke. He lived here all his life. He wouldn't even go away for college. I think we're going to bury him in that diner."

Admittedly, Sookie's acknowledgement that Luke would never leave Stars Hollow, and therefore would never get back together with this Rachel person made her feel better about things, but she had to play it cool so Sookie couldn't guess she was thinking about anything other than Luke's situation at the moment. "Wow. It's sad."

"Yeah. Ok, well I am done here. I'm gonna stop by the inn for a while and then I am gonna go home and I'm gonna change for the show tonight."

When Sookie left, she stood up to put away the garment she had finished mending, and saw Rachel's sweatshirt on her bed. She picked it up and thought about everything it represented – mostly that there was someone out there who held Luke's heart, and it wasn't her. She sighed, and folded it up, knowing she needed to give it back to Luke, and along with it, the knowledge they could never have anything as long as his heart was still with Rachel.

However, even though she felt she knew that her relationship with Luke could never get past the friends with benefits stage now, for the rest of the day, she couldn't stop thinking about the fact that Luke once had a serious girlfriend – a girlfriend who was apparently wonder woman, and had impeccable fashion sense since the sweatshirt was hers. She pouted as she got ready, and then had to deliver the news to Sookie that they would be buying cheap seats at the concert so Rory could bond with her friends. Both were bummed about the loss of the great seats, but sometimes they needed to be adults. Unfortunately, this was one of those times.

Fortunately, the car ride with the girls distracted her, but when Eternal Flame started playing, her thoughts about Luke creeped back, and overwhelmed her to the point she even forgot they were there to see her favorite band. She needed to know more information about Rachel, and she needed to know it now. Jealousy was creeping up on her for some reason, and deep down she hoped that maybe she could at least be prettier than Rachel. If not, then she had no hope to ever have anything more with Luke, because there was no way she could live up to his ex. "Hey, was Rachel pretty?"

"What?"

"I'm just curious, was she pretty?"

"She was pretty."

Darn. Of course she was. "Like, what kind of pretty?"

"What do you mean 'what kind of pretty'?"

"I mean, like, was she a Catherine Zeta-Jones kind of pretty or a Michelle Pfiffer-y pretty or…"

"She was an Elle MacPherson kind of pretty."

She could literally feel her hopes and dreams falling around her. "Really."

"Yup."

"That's an intense kind of pretty."

"You're not kidding."

There was no way she could compete with this girl she had never met, and it was killing her. It was making her irritated. "I never pictured Luke with an Elle MacPherson kind of pretty."

"No? Pictured him more with a Lorelai Gilmore kind of pretty?"

Suddenly she realized she had let her feelings become more visible than intended, and she knew she had to cover her tracks. "Oh, the air up here must be very thing because you're delirious."

"And you're jealous."

Jealous? Was she? Is that what was spurring on this need for information about Luke and Rachel? Of course she was. She knew that, and worryingly, Sookie seemed to know that too. But, she couldn't let her friend have the satisfaction, so instead she continued with a tone of irritation. "What?"

"You're jealous of Rachel."

"You're accusing me of being jealous of a woman who dumped a man I'm not even interested in five years ago?"

"Yes."

"And you don't think that's crazy?"

"Oh, I do think that's crazy."

"Right. I'm not jealous."

"Yeah, you are."

All she could do was scoff. Sookie was right. She was jealous. She was insanely jealous. Even though Luke wasn't hers, he was…hers. She couldn't bear the thought of him being with anyone else, even if it was years ago. But, she couldn't let Sookie know that. So, she turned back to the concert, and tried to enjoy the fact that she was watching her favorite band, but her thoughts were very far from the song Eternal Flame, and were fully latched onto who she thought could be her very own eternal flame.

...

The next morning when the alarm went off, she immediately reached out, threw it against the wall, and sighed in pleasure when the ringing stopped. However, when she woke again and the sun was high in the sky, she realized she had slept much longer than initially planned. Rory must have let her sleep, and while she appreciated the gesture, because she was still exhausted from the night before, she had really wanted to get a good jump on the day. Her house had been cleared out while she was at the concert, but Taylor's crew had left a mess, and she really wanted to at least organize the living room enough so she could relax that evening. Also, she wanted to see Luke. The last time she had seen him, he had yelled at her, and since then, she discovered he once had a very serious girlfriend, whom he seemingly was still waiting for. And that discovery opened up a whole new world of feelings for her about Luke.

She brought her coffee cup up to the bathroom and stood under the hot spray of the water, trying to wash away the fogginess of her brain. So much had happened in the past week, and it was tough to wrap her mind around it.

After doing a quick clean up downstairs, she headed out towards the rummage sale, figuring she could find Rory there, and talk about the previous night. Even though she was in the right for pulling Madeline and Louise out of that guy's party, she knew her actions would cause problems for Rory at school, and she needed to make sure Rory knew where she was coming from. As she walked with her daughter through the sale, and had her worries about Rory's reaction to the previous night allayed, she noticed Luke not too far away, and excused herself, knowing she would never be able to concentrate on anything her daughter said at the moment.

She ran over to Luke, and fell into stride with him, making sure to hide Rachel's sweatshirt behind her back. "Hey."

"Oh, hey."

"Find anything good?"

"Oh yeah, I got some refrigerator magnets shaped like sushi for a nickel, so, basically, I scored."

"Oh, good."

"Hey, look, about that thing that happened the other day…"

"Oh, forget it."

"I was a jerk, I didn't mean it."

"I know. Really."

"Yeah well, I am sorry."

This was the Luke she knew so well, and the one she had hoped would at some point come around to wanting to change their relationship status. However, at the moment, a certain sweatshirt was burning her fingers, so she brought it out from behind her back, and thrust it at him. "I wanted to give this back to you."

"Oh no, you bought it."

He shook her off, but she continued. "I know, but it's yours and I didn't know."

"You didn't know?"

"About the former owner."

"Oh."

"If I had, I wouldn't have flaunted it in front of you like that."

"Hey, it's not a big deal. I was having a bad day, that's it. Now I got magnetic sushi and all is right with the world."

His words made her giggle, and she knew they were back on track. "Ok good. So, here. It obviously means something to you."

"But you have to let things go eventually, right?"

"Yeah, but sometimes you need a little something to remind you. I mean you wouldn't want to forget everything would you?"

"No. There was some stuff that I definitely would not want to forget."

"Well here, so you don't forget."

"Thanks. Can I pay you for it?"

"In coffee, absolutely." She watched as he walked away, and wasn't surprised when he stopped and turned back to her.

"I'm not pining you know…"

"I know."

"Just remembering."

"Got it."

"Remembering is not pining."

"You're absolutely right."

"It's just like a memento, like restaurant matches."

"I can see the resemblance."

"Ok, well good."

"Bye Luke."

"Bye."

Once again, she watched as he walked away, and she turned to go find Rory. They seemed to be fully back on track, but this new information was definitely interesting, and could be something that determined any future they may have.

When the phone rang later that night, she debated even picking it up. Deep down, she knew Luke didn't mean anything by yelling at her about the sweatshirt, and he had apologized, but it still hurt. It hurt even more to find out he had a girlfriend, that, by the sounds of it, he wasn't fully over. And if that was the case, what was he doing with her? Sure, they had their friends with benefits agreement, but she always just kind of assumed in the back of her mind that she was the be all and end all for Luke. That wasn't fair, of course, but she had never seen him with anyone else, and knowing someone else was out there really bugged her.

The phone rang for a second time, and she sighed, knowing she needed to pick up, because if it kept ringing, it might wake up Rory. "Hello?"

"Everything ok?"

Everything ok. Was everything ok? She wasn't so sure anymore. "I should be asking you that." She waited for an answer, and finally heard a really loud sigh on the other end of the line. In her mind, she could see him rubbing his face with his hand.

"I really was a jerk. I really am sorry."

"It's ok, Luke."

"No, it's not. I had no right to go off on you like that. It was just…seeing you of all people…in that…"

"Luke, don't worry about it."

"You're too good to me."

"Nah. You just owe me."

"How much coffee are we talking?"

She grinned. While she felt like everything was ok after they talked at the rummage sale, this conversation they were having late at night solidified that feeling. Their banter was definitely getting back on track. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe three months." When she heard a chuckle on the other end, she knew everything was going to be ok.

"You're going to put me out of business."

She gasped. "You're right! We can't have that. Ok, two months."

"Lorelai…"

The growl in his voice had her giggling, and she pulled her legs up underneath her on the bed to settle in for a good phone session. "Ok. One month. But only if I get pie once in a while…"


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer:** Totally don't own these characters, or this world. I just like to be a part of it. I give all credit to the writers of this fantastic show for the dialogue I've borrowed.

 **Author's Notes:**

Thank you to all who commented! It seems as though the tribe has spoken, so start keeping an eye out for some tweaking of canon. A few tweaks here and there. Tweakage, if you will. But, life still has one obstacle for our daring duo to overcome. However, Donna Reed comes first…

* * *

 **Fourteen**

"That weird caller called again last night when you were in the shower. They're calling a lot lately."

Rory's unexpected statement made her stumble on the sidewalk, and when Rory looked at her questioningly, she looked back and scowled at the pavement. "Stupid cracks in the stupid sidewalk. They'll get you every time." She knew her cover up was useless though when Rory also looked back at the perfectly smooth walkway. Damn Taylor and his need to fix everything immediately.

"There's no crack there."

"Uh, metaphorically, you know."

"What?"

"Uh, the cracks are a metaphor."

"Metaphor for what?"

Why her daughter felt the need to interrogate her before coffee was beyond her, and she could feel herself losing the battle. "Uh, for life, you know."

"Why are you being so weird?"

She gasped. "I cannot believe you're calling me weird before breakfast. Do you not remember who birthed you? What's weird is you skipping Cop Rock last night to work on homework." She prayed her terrible segue would distract Rory, and sighed in relief as they walked into Luke's and Rory started talking about her brain hurting. She immediately started thinking of an excuse of how to stay late at the diner, because Luke obviously had wanted to talk to her about something. And frankly, flirting in person was so much better than over the phone.

As she and Rory debated the possibility of Rory having a tumor versus losing her eyesight, she flicked her eyes around the diner for some sort of inspiration, and when she noticed the handle of an old paintbrush shoved in with the various other tools left over from when the diner was a hardware store, a lightbulb went off in her head. And if on cue, Luke showed up to take their order right then and there, so she didn't have to sit on her idea. "Hi, can you take a little constructive criticism?"

"No."

"Ok. This place could use a makeover."

"Hmm."

"Yeah. It just needs a sprucing up. Like a coat of paint."

"I don't spruce."

"What do you mean you don't spruce?"

When Taylor jumped in on their conversation, it took her a second to remember the fact that there were other people in the diner. Lately, whenever she and Luke talked, it was like everything around her faded away, and she really needed to get a better handle on that phenomenon, because if she wasn't careful, she was going to say something inappropriate. Speaking of inappropriate… "Right here in River City!"

"This is not funny, Lorelai."

Taylor was of course, wrong, as she noticed Rory giggling across the table from her.

"Does anyone want anything?"

Yes, time with Luke that was totally town sanctioned. "Uh, yes, I do. I want to know why you won't paint this place."

"Painting's a pain. I'd have to close the place for a day – which I can't afford – or paint it in the middle of the night – which I don't want to do because I hate painting."

He was making this way too difficult, and was clearly not seeing the plan behind the plan. "Ok, how about this? I'll help you. I love to paint." She stretched out the word 'love' in hopes he would start to clue in as to what she was offering.

"You do?"

"Yes, I do."

"You love it?"

"I want to marry it."

"You have strange passions."

She wanted to reach up and grab fistfuls of his shirts and shake him. Sometimes, he was so oblivious to what was going on around him.

"She likes washing dishes, too. She's multi-faceted abnormal."

She didn't even bother to supply Rory with a look – everyone knew she had her quirks – and instead pushed on. "Ah, come on. We'll drink a couple beers, we'll sing painting songs."

"Painting songs."

At this point, she was kind of certain he was catching on, and was daring her to continue the absurd charade of loving to paint. No one ever said she was one to back down on a dare… "Yeah, painting songs. Like, uh, you know, the song that goes, um…" She glanced helplessly at the table for some sort of inspiration, and picked up a couple pieces of cutlery before starting to sing. "Grab your brush and grab your rollers…All you kids and all you….bowlers. We're going paintin' today!" Hallelujah. She managed to stutter something out. "Say yes, or there's another verse."

"Well, I guess maybe…if I had help."

Oh yeah, he finally picked up on what she was hinting at.

"Really? Oh my god! That's wonderful! Hurrah!"

At Taylor's voice, she mentally cursed. Again, she forgot other people were in the diner. Specifically, Taylor. Now she was actually going to have to paint the place. If it was just Rory listening to the conversation, she could always tell her daughter when the place wasn't painted, that Luke had threatened to stop selling coffee if she actually went through with anything. However, with Taylor, that would never slide. She watched the brief interaction between Luke and Taylor, pleased when Luke said that painting was for 'him' because, oh, this painting session was definitely going to be about him, and kept her focus on Luke as Taylor walked out the door.

"I hate that he's pleased."

She shrugged her shoulders. "Ah, you'll drop a gum wrapper on the street in front of his store later."

"Yeah, good idea." He walked away, clearly absorbed in his own thoughts.

"Mom, you totally distracted him. He didn't even take our order."

"Hmmm?" Her daughter's statement pulled her from her musings of just what she and Luke could get up to while painting the diner she was having while watching him walk away.

"Are you ok?"

Her attention snapped back to Rory. "Huh?"

"Did you and Luke have an argument or something?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean…you've been acting weird around him lately. And now you're offering to do manual labor for him. You never do manual labor unless you're trying to amend for something."

Once again, her much too observant daughter was being much too observant. While it was true, all these years she and Luke had managed to keep their secret rendezvous secret, lately she found herself being more brazen around him, and deep down it was because she was hoping they would get caught. Then the town would know, and it would force his hand. However, truthfully, she still wanted him to come to his senses on his own, but maybe he needed a little push. "I don't know what you're talking about. You're talking crazy." She gasped. "Maybe you really do have a tumor!"

"Mom!"

She grinned at her daughter's frustration and stood up. "Look, I'll go put in our order. We need to get going soon anyways." When she walked away, she didn't miss Rory grumble something that sounded a lot like, 'you're still acting weird' but decided to ignore it and continue on to order their breakfast.

…..

As she walked her way to the diner, she wished she had remembered her gloves – especially since she had to hold her bag which held all of paint chips and the color inspiration pictures she had cut out earlier that evening. She had forgotten them though, because truthfully, it was a little tough saying goodbye to Rory before she left. It was always hard whenever she had to be away from Rory, and it hurt a little that Rory was so willing to spend the night away from her.

However, as the lights of the diner lit up the darkness ahead of her, she had to smile. At least she could spend the evening with Luke. Unfortunately, she wouldn't be able to stay too late, because she had promised Rory she would feed Stella. Apparently the chick needed to be fed at _exactly_ 10pm - something about keeping a diary of reactions or something. To her, it didn't seem that important, but when she joked about not feeding Stella at all, the death glare Rory had sent her only served to further reinforce her instinct that something was really bothering her daughter. But, instead of diving into that possible gauntlet, she chose to just agree to feed the baby chick, and accept that if any itch was to be scratched that night, it would have to involve either Luke sneaking over to the house, or her sneaking back to the diner, and both scenarios held their own respective landmines.

She stepped through the threshold of the diner, and was immediately enveloped by the warmth of the room. She breathed in deeply, and smiled at the smell of burgers and coffee mixing in her nose, and she immediately decided on what she wanted for dinner. Ignoring his presence in the corner as he served a table, she walked right up to the counter, took off her jacket, and started pulling the clippings and paint chips out of her bag. When an extra-large mug was placed down on top of her inspiration, she looked up into Luke's blue eyes and smiled as he poured her coffee.

"Burger, right?"

"How did you know?"

"Lucky guess."

He walked away without saying anything else, and she decided he must have been in a good mood since he didn't even mention the mess she was making on his counter top.

While she ate, he only came by a few times to check on her, but she was so absorbed in matching the paint chips she had to the clippings, that she was ignoring him anyways. Or, he was ignoring her. She couldn't decide. Every so often, she could get up to pin a grouping of paint chips to a wall, and then head back to match up another group. When he pulled her empty plate away from her, she looked at him and raised an eyebrow. "We should paint the whole place blue."

"Why blue?"

She leaned forward on the counter so she was closer to him, and whispered seductively. "To match those eyes of yours."

It wasn't surprising when he rolled those blue eyes, put her empty plate in the dirty dish bin under the counter, and moved around towards the couple seated at the table in the far corner. He clearly wasn't in the teasing mode at the moment, so she walked towards one of the paint chip groupings near where he was standing. "Now, this is another way to go. Sort of a French bistro kind of look."

"This isn't a French bistro."

"Really? Huh. It's amazing the things you learn when you bother to listen." She was speaking louder than she usually would, but she noticed she had an audience with the couple at the table Luke was helping with, and there were few things she liked more than having an audience.

"Which, you usually don't."

"Yes, but then I don't have a lot of useless information intruding in my brain."

"Thank god."

Ignoring him, she moved towards another group of paint chips near him. "Now, if you wanted to do more warm, golden Tuscan countryside…"

"Then I'd go to Italy."

As he moved towards the counter to wrap up the remainders of the couple's dinner, she moved towards the door of the diner where she had another paint group pinned to the wall. "We could also go with a pastely English country garden theme. Oh! Maybe we could add a little stenciling on the ceiling."

"No stenciling!"

Sometimes, he was exasperating. "Excuse me – do you even know what stenciling is?"

"Does Martha Stewart do it?"

Ah crap, even if he didn't know what it was, just knowing Martha Stewart did it would make him say no, so she sighed in defeat. "Yes."

"No stenciling."

She was interrupted from saying anything else by the door opening right next to her, and she had to step back a bit to avoid getting hit, and watched as Taylor and Kirk breezed by her on their way to the counter. Admittedly, she felt bad for Kirk losing a bet to Taylor, and so when Taylor commented about his appreciation for the color group she had pinned close to the front door, she pulled it down, not about to let Taylor win twice in one night.

As the diner started to empty out, she went around pinning a few more color groups to the walls, and happily accepted the beer Luke offered her once the diner was fully empty of patrons. However, for effect, she gasped as he held the beer out to her, and clasped a hand to her chest. "My, my can you legally serve liquor in this joint, my good sir?" She wasn't sure why her voice came out in a Southern accent, but, she just ran with it.

"If I'm going to have to argue with you about paint samples, I think both of us need to have a few drinks in us."

"Are you just trying to get me drunk so you can get your way with me?" She threw him a saucy grin, expecting him to fully ignore her comment, so it surprised her a little when he leaned close and whispered in her ear.

"I don't need you drunk to have my way with you."

When he pulled back, he tossed a wink at her, and she had to fan herself with the paint chip strip she was holding, and then felt her face flame when she caught his eye in the reflection of the diner window. At this point, she figured, to hell with a relationship other people knew about, because this side of Luke was hot as hell.

She shook her head, because if she caved to her desires right now, they would never get a paint color chosen, and there would be no way in hell she would make it home in time to feed Stella. So instead, she stood up, and started moving towards the storeroom, desperately trying to push thoughts of what happened the last time she was near that storeroom. "You ready to talk paint?"

"No."

She had to ignore him. She had to focus on choosing a paint color, so she could get the hell out of there before she dragged him upstairs. "Good. I've got all the choices set up and while any one of them would work, I think this combo is my favorite." She tapped on a color grouping she had pinned to the wall.

"Huh."

"See? Imagine. This will be for the walls and this will be for the trim. The, like, edging around the doors and the windows."

"I know what the trim is."

"Ok. The colors are actually quite similar to what you have here now, but they're just a little richer, a little warmer. What do you think?"

"Well…."

Inspiration hit her, and she moved past him towards the front door. "Wait, wait, wait." When she reached the front of the building, she turned the dial of the main lights, dimming the light in the room. "A little ambiance."

"This is a diner. We don't do ambiance."

She moved back over to him and shrugged her shoulders. "All right. One argument at a time. So, what do you think?"

"Honestly?"

"Yep."

"I have no idea. You like it?"

When she returned to Luke's side, she hadn't noticed how close she was to him, but when he turned and asked her what she thought, all she could think was, yes. Yes she liked him. She liked the way he made her feel. She liked being this close to him. She may have unconsciously licked her very dry lips, she wasn't sure, and she answered him truthfully. "Yeah."

"Ok."

"Good." The air around them was thick, and she could feel his body heat radiating off of him, and she was starting to feel heady. Just as she was thinking to hell with Stella, the front door of the diner burst open, and she jumped back to a respectable distance as she turned to see who was coming in. Lights flashed from the doorway, and it took her a moment to realize it was Andrew taking pictures. Thankfully Luke jumped in and kicked Andrew out, because she couldn't think clearly and needed the moment to regroup. As Luke flipped the sign on the door to 'closed,' she moved to the counter and sat down, grateful to get off of her legs which had gone wobbly on her, and knew she needed to get the conversation back onto the task at hand. "You know, listen…since you have to take everything off the walls anyway, now might be a really good time to decide what stuff you're going to keep and what stuff you're to get rid of."

"Everything stays."

He. was so. stubborn. "Ok, there's a plastic dancing pork chop that says…"

"Everything stays."

"… 'I lost my head over a good chop. You should too.'"

"Everything stays."

This was a battle she was not going to win. "Ok. Everything stays."

"You know, this place hasn't been painted since my dad was alive."

And with that, the suffocating haze of desire which had permeated the room since she first walked in a couple of hours ago lifted, and was replaced with the beginnings of true trust. He was opening up to her in a way he never had before. Never had he said anything about his father, and she knew this was his way of beginning a new connection with her, and she was entranced. She was riveted because she realized right away she actually cared about his past. Never before with a man had she cared about their past. "No, I didn't know that."

"He painted it before he opened it, and once more when the roof caved in one winter. I think that's probably it."

"The paint lasted a long time. He got his money's worth."

"Yep. He really loved this place, you know. This store was his life. Mine too, I guess. I spent every minute I wasn't in school here. I spent a lot of minutes I was supposed to be in school in here too."

As Luke talked, she could sense he was seeing memories of the past dance in front of his eyes. Even though he was there in front of her, it felt as though he was somewhere else. It was a side of him she had never seen before, and she was pretty sure not many other people in the world had been granted this kind of access to him. She absently started peeling the label off her beer bottle, as a question germinated in her head. "How come you opened a diner? Why didn't you keep it a hardware store?"

"I don't know. I didn't love the hardware business the way my dad did, and, you know, I knew how to cook, so I just thought a diner would be more…fun."

A giggle escaped her lips at his hesitation about saying that word. "That's a hard word for you to say." When he laughed at her observation, a calmness settled over her that she couldn't explain.

"Yeah. I just always wanted to work here. Just where Dad did."

"God, that's nice. To be so…I don't know…connected to your dad. That's…I would have loved that." As strained as her relationship was with her parents, deep down, she always wished she could have some sort of relationship with them. It was so easy to put up a front that she was totally ok being on her own, and not having them in her life, but she was always jealous of those around her who spoke so fondly of their relatives.

"Well, you've got that with Rory."

He was so confident in his words that it made her smile. He was always in her corner, and always could say just that right thing that would buoy her feelings. "Yeah…I guess so."

"You know, I still think there's a spot on the wall somewhere where my dad took an order one day when he ran out of paper."

There was a distinct shift in the mood in the air. That feeling of true trust she felt moments earlier was quickly burning into something more serious. It was like he was opening up to her one sentence at a time, and it was fascinating, especially since she sensed he was leading her somewhere specific. "Really? Where?"

"I don't know. Behind the counter maybe."

She knew he knew exactly where he was leading her, and she kept her gaze on him as she moved behind the counter.

"Next to the door. On the right side."

With his guidance, she looked down, and saw some words scrawled on the wall near the floor. As she sunk to the floor to see them better, she silently wondered why Luke's father would write something on the wall here. Why was he sitting on the floor as he took the order? Why hadn't he stood up and written it closer to the phone? Her inner questioning quietened however, when Luke sat down next to her. Instead of asking him if he knew, she started reading out the order. "'Three hammers, Phillips head screwdrivers…'"

"… 'and three boxes of nails in assorted sizes.'"

She breathed out at the reverence in his words.

"I've seen it from time to time."

His joke made her laugh, but she could tell how much this moment meant to Luke.

"Yeah, well, I guess it's time for a little spruce."

And she could also tell how much this particular spot meant to Luke. "Yeah, it is. But, let's not spruce this particular spot."

"That sounds good."

"Ok." God, the look he was giving her was incredibly intense. She could feel herself falling into his gaze. He had held her gaze many, many times, but this wasn't the heady look of desire she was used to seeing from him when they locked eyes for this long. No, this was different. This was much more intimate, and it was like he was seeing into her soul, causing a cloud of butterflies to dance in her stomach. She knew his body so well by now, and knew without a doubt in this moment he was going to lean forward and touch his lips to hers, but that same knowledge told her this kiss was going to be different. This wasn't going to be the start of a few hours of passionate lovemaking – no, this was going to be the start of something deeper. Something new. But then voices could be heard outside and the spell was momentarily broken as Luke began grumbling and started to stand.

Desperate to keep the moment going, she grabbed desperately at his arm, pulling him back down towards her. "No, no, don't get up."

"But if I don't get up…"

"They'll go away. They'll go away. Trust me. Shh." She rocked onto her knees, and crawled over to the edge of the counter, peeking around to watch as Taylor rattled the doorknob, and pointed to a few of the paint groupings that were still hanging on the wall. After a few moments, the crowd dispersed and she snorted at Taylor's persistence. When Luke spoke his gratitude to her, she suddenly realized how close he was to her. His smell was overpowering, and it was all she could do to not take him right then and there. But she forced herself to resist, because if she bowed to her body's desires, then she would have taken away from the rising intimacy of the night, and lose the prospect that was building of something more. She turned her head to answer him, and once again felt that pull towards him. But when she looked in his eyes, very, very briefly, she felt a flicker of nerves, and pulled away. This was Luke, and as much as she wanted to move forward with him, she understood her track record with men, and didn't want to screw it up with Luke. It seemed like he wanted more, but he had never asked her out, so maybe there was that chance he didn't want more. Maybe he only wanted what they currently had going. "I should go."

"Ok."

Disappointment was evident in his voice, but she had to be strong. She didn't want that kind of relationship with him anymore. She wanted something more, so she stood up, and awkwardly said her goodbyes before grabbing her jacket, and trying hard to not run out of the diner. It would have been so easy to give in to him right then and there, but she held strong.

So instead, she shuffled through the town square on the way back home, her hands shoved in her coat pockets, her head held low. What had started as an exciting evening, had quickly turned to disappointment.

"Lorelai! Honey!"

Her name being shouted from the mouth of none other than Miss Patty had her heart racing. Nothing good could come from this late night interaction, but she couldn't ignore the woman, so she slowed her gait, allowing Patty to catch up. "Hey, Patty."

"Where are you coming from at this late hour?"

"Huh? Oh, from Luke's. I was helping him pick out paint chips."

"Oh really? I just talked to Taylor and he was just over there. He said all the lights were out."

She stopped short, her blood quickening. "Really? That's weird."

"You sure you were just over there picking paint chips?"

Patty threw her a wink, and it took everything in her power to not react when Patty nudged her arm. The unspoken question dripped from Patty's words, but she couldn't react, or she would blow her cover. Besides, nothing had happened, so there was nothing to cover up tonight. "Yup. We decided on some colors and are going to pick up the paint later in the week."

"Aw, that's great, honey." The disappointment in there being nothing juicy to the story was evident in Patty's voice.

She forced a smiled, and turned to look towards her house, hoping Patty would take the hint she wanted to go. "Yeah." She turned back and looked at the town gossip. "So, I need to get going. Rory brought home a baby chick for a school project, and it's my job to feed it."

"Oh, dear, is that safe?"

Sometimes living in a small town had its downfalls, especially when everyone felt the need to have an opinion. However, she was too tired be offended at the moment. "Yeah, it's just one night. Have a goodnight, Patty."

"You too, dear."

The rest of the walk was mercifully quiet, and once she entered the house, all she could think of was feeding Stella, and then taking a long, hot bath. However, as she entered the kitchen, right away she could feel something was wrong, and when she saw the empty cage on the table, her stomach plummeted to her feet. Frantically, she moved through the house looking for the baby chick, but couldn't find Stella anywhere, and cursed Patty for jinxing her. There was no way she could handle this on her own. She needed help, so she grabbed the phone and dialed without even thinking, and when the ringing stopped, she wasn't sure if Luke had answered or not, so she spoke first. "Hello?"

"Yeah."

Oh, thank god. He did answer. "Luke? Stella got out and I don't know…do I put seed on the floor? Do I make cheeping sounds? Or do I pull a Lucy Ricardo and walk like a chicken so she thinks I'm her mother?"

"Who the hell is this?"

His question floored her. Really? "What do you mean who is this? It's Lorelai. Who else would call you looking for her baby chick?" Like, did he really have that many women calling him frantically about missing farm animals? Sometimes that man frustrated her to no end.

"You're right. I'm the idiot. Go on."

Exasperating. That's what he was. "Could you come over here please and help me?"

"Uh, yeah, ok. I'll be right over."

"Ok, hurry!" She was so wrapped up in needing to find Stella, she didn't even notice the hesitance in his voice. Instead, she threw the phone down and started throwing anything that was in her way so she could find the chick.

Finally, what seemed like hours later, she could see him come up to the side door, and it didn't even cross her mind that it was weird he would go to that door, and not the front door. Instead, as soon as she flung the door open and saw him standing there, she grabbed a fistful of his shirt, and pulled him across the threshold, only dimly aware that the last time she had pulled him in the house like that was the night of Rory's birthday and the night she broke her rule of having men stay over. "Thank god. Get in here."

"This place is a disaster. What's going on?"

Ignoring the disbelief in his voice, she started slowly moving through the room, keeping her eyes sharp for any sort of movement. "Ok, the last sighting was here, by the InStyle magazine. But then she burrowed through the Glamour and jumped over the Cosmo and knocked over a brand new bottle of nail polish, so all I can tell you is if there was any doubt that this chick was a girl, well, there isn't anymore." A loud cheeping sounded from across the room, and she swung her head in the direction. "Ok, there she is!"

"Jeez…what was that?"

She moved over to the area where the cheeping came from, calling Stella's name.

"You really do have a chick loose in here."

His question threw her, and she furrowed her brow. "Yeah, I told you I had a chick loose in here." Movement caught her eye, and she turned towards it. "There she goes by the kitchen!" As she moved in the direction, she felt Luke next to her, and saw his boot come precariously close to Stella. "Don't step on her!"

"She cut right in front of me."

"Ok, well, she's being graded, so let's not squash her."

"Well, then, tell her to watch where she's going."

The two stalked around the room, moving furniture, tossing cushions, keeping as quiet as they could in case Stella decided to cheep again and make her presence known. However, after what seemed like hours, exhaustion was starting to seep through her bones, and she collapsed on the couch, giving up for the moment. Luke continued to look, and she watched him as he moved around her living room. She pointed towards the chair in the corner near the stairs, and again voiced her opinion that Stella was over there. But as Luke once again shot down her assumption, and the two bantered back and forth, she could tell her heart wasn't in the banter. It wasn't in it because since sitting down, her thoughts kept returning to Luke's statement when he first came over, and she needed to know why he said it, because to her, it seemed like he was assuming she was calling him over for sex. And quite frankly, after the intimacy they had shared at the diner that evening, it kind of hurt her to think that maybe he really only did want her for her body. Maybe he didn't want anything more from her. She had to know. "Hey, Luke, what did you mean earlier?"

"What are you talking about?"

"When you got here. You made some comment about me not really having a chick in the house."

"Hmmm."

He was avoiding answering her, she could tell, so she decided to be a little more forthright. "I mean, if I didn't have a chick here, why did you think I was calling?"

"No, I thought you were calling about the chick."

"It didn't seem like it."

"Well maybe it didn't seem like it, but it was."

"Was what?"

"Was what I thought…can we just keep looking?"

He was still avoiding her questioning, and she was beginning to think that maybe her fears were correct. "Ok. I just still think that…"

"There she is."

She looked over to where he was pointing. "Where?"

"There!"

As he flew across the room, she knew in her heart this was going to end badly, and when her favorite lemon lamp went down with Luke and she heard glass breaking, she flinched. "Careful!" When he slowly stood up, she noticed his hands where curved around something, and she stood up, their conversation quickly forgotten. "Oh my god. Did you get her?"

"I got her."

She raced over to him, and placed her hands over his, ignoring the electricity shooting between them as she grasped for Stella. "Give her to me, give her to me."

"Careful, careful!"

When she felt the soft down in her hands, she held on as tightly as she felt she could get away with, and moved quickly to the cage, pushed Stella in, and closed the door. Before anything else could happen, she went into Rory's room to find Stella's food, and returned to the kitchen. As she poured the pellets into a cup, she noticed Luke had retreated to the living room. Once the cup was safely in the cage along with Stella, and the chick was eating happily, she felt like she could breathe. "She's never going anywhere ever again. I'm thinking of slipping some super glue on the bottom of the cage. That would be bad, right? I mean, I know staples are bad, but what's the verdict on super glue?" She tapped the side of the cage as she spoke, feeling her blood finally stop racing now that Stella was securely back in her cage.

"Ask Stella."

Luke walked past her, and she noticed he was carrying a trash bag and the broken lamp. "Oh, you don't have to do that."

"This stuff is sharp. I want to get it out of the way."

Suddenly, she felt awkward. It felt as though something had once again shifted between the two of them, and she couldn't figure out what it was. "Well, thanks for helping."

"No problem. I'm going to throw this stuff outside."

She watched as he retreated out the door, and thought back over the night's events. While it was true, she was disappointed he didn't seem to be on the same page as her at the moment about their relationship, it's not like she was going to push him away. He moved slowly when it came to communicating, she knew that, and maybe he just needed a little more time. And in the meantime, he was here, at her house, Rory was gone for the night, so there could be a real possibility of an almost full night sleepover. Her lips curled into a devious smile, and suddenly she was remembering the moments in the diner when he was so close to her she could feel his body heat radiating. Before she knew it, her blood was starting to hum, and she decided Luke needed to stay over. But with the way he had walked out, she knew it was a possibility he would just throw the trash out and continue on his way home, so she rushed out to the porch, talking before she could even see him. "Hey, Luke, is there…Dean." The presence of Rory's boyfriend had her stopping short in her question, and jarring her into 'mom mode.' As she was beginning her interrogation of the boy, and what he was doing in her front yard, her daughter made an appearance on Babette's porch, and she couldn't help herself. "Uh, what the hell are you two doing?"

As both Rory and Dean stumbled through a probable explanation as to what they were doing, she forgot all about the fact that Luke was standing there witnessing the entire scene until Rory pointed out his presence and suddenly she had no excuse as to why Luke was there. Neither reason could be voiced – not the missing chick, and definitely not the possible sleepover. "Oh, uh…in the house…" God, sometimes her words just failed her miserably. And unfortunately, Luke was just as unsmooth as she was.

"And then the lamp sorta…I'm gonna get going."

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry about this."

"Forget it."

"Ok, bye."

Oh god, that was so awkward she wanted a hole to swallow her up right then and there, but then her eyes refocused on Dean, and she remembered the situation, and promptly segued into teasing her daughter mercilessly. Rory backed away, but then called for help because Apricot was missing, and all Lorelai could think about was how great that hot bath still sounded.

…

All night she laid awake going over everything that had happened that night between she and Luke. There was just so much to consider, and she was terrified to make the first move into something more in case he didn't want that. She knew without a doubt that life would not be easy if she had to avoid Luke all the time. She stared at the darkened ceiling, her mind racing, and ultimately decided she needed a second opinion about Luke's reactions at her house that night, and chanced broaching it with Sookie, hoping against hope she wouldn't admit to already sleeping with Luke.

But that morning, as she was talking to her friend, she suddenly found herself being pulled into a debate as to what the code was for 'I'm not wearing any underwear' and immediately got defensive because, as Sookie said out loud, "can you come over and help me look for my loose chick' it _did_ sound a little like code for 'I'm not wearing any underwear.' And if it sounded like that to her now, it definitely must have sounded like that to Luke when she said it the night before. But, even that didn't make sense, because if she wanted him in bed, all she had to do was ask him. There was no need for code words. Did he think she was speaking in code because Rory was within earshot? No, that couldn't be it. She had to be sure about what Sookie was insinuating though. "So you're saying Luke thought I made up a crazy story about a chick being loose in the house just to get him in bed?"

"Not just to get him in bed, but maybe he thought you wanted to see him and you didn't know how to say it."

"That's nuts."

"A woman asking a man to come over late at night to her house. Come on."

"Yeah, but this is Luke we're talking about." And that was the issue at the moment. It was Luke they were talking about. Luke, who she was already sleeping with, but terrified to move to the next level with, regardless of how much she wanted to. Luke, who she had chickened out on the night before because she wanted him to ask her, not her asking him, and now Sookie was telling her that her request for help last night was actually code for wanting something more from him, and apparently, so was her offer to help repaint the diner. When Sookie brought that particular situation up, she felt herself getting angry, since Rory had already pointed out the absurdity of the offer. Everyone seemed to be pointing out to her that her feelings for Luke had clearly changed, and it was freaking her out. Yes, she was thinking the same thing, but if people in town were pointing out things about a situation they didn't even know, that meant her heart was very clearly on her sleeve, and for some reason, Luke was doing nothing about it. The conversation with Sookie wasn't going where she wanted it to go, and she found herself angry and frustrated, so she absently thanked her friend, and stormed out of the kitchen.

…

She somehow managed to avoid Sookie for the remainder of the day, and snuck out early so she could escape to the comfort of her own home. Her thoughts were more jumbled than usual, and ideally, she would have liked the evening to herself with a pot of coffee and a whole pizza, while Rory was out with Dean, so she could just think. But alas, Friday night dinner was calling, and as soon as Rory got home from school, every moment to think deep thoughts was sucked away as she and Rory began their usual Friday dance of being on time until the moment they were horribly, horribly late, and not yet dressed. They managed to work around each other getting ready, and raced to the car – way too late to stop at Luke's for coffee, and tore down the freeway, silently thanking the traffic gods for the accident-free lane, which afforded them arriving barely on time.

As conversation started for the evening, she almost immediately stuck her foot in her mouth, so she nudged the conversation towards Stella, a relatively safe subject. But then Rory brought up Luke, and just the mere mention of his name had her blood running cold, as though everyone in the room knew exactly what she and Luke were doing behind closed doors. Thankfully, Rory jumped in to try to mend her mistake, but of course Emily was much too laser focused on the mention of Luke, and Lorelai knew deep within her soul, she wasn't going to be able to shake Emily loose. "Oh, look, there's no ice. I'll get some." Maybe if she switched rooms, she could lose Emily. However, as she moved towards the kitchen, she could feel her mother hot on her heels.

"I asked you a question."

"He was helping me find the bird, Mom."

"Really?"

"Yes, really."

"And how did he know that the bird was missing? What, was he strolling by your house and he heard your plaintive cries for help?"

"Mom."

"Or the helpless cheep of a chick in trouble?"

"I called him, Mom. Ok? I called him and asked him to come over and help me look for the bird. Ok?"

"It seems like this man is always around when you're in trouble."

"He's a good friend."

"Oh, please."

She scoffed. "Do we have to discuss this?"

"Lorelai, I'm getting a little tired of being lied to."

"Apparently we do."

"This man was at Rory's birthday party. He came to the hospital with you. He's the male lead in every story you tell. You go to the diner every single day. I've seen the way he looks at you…the way you look at him. I'm not a fool."

"Mom, please."

"Why do you treat me like I don't have a clue in the world as to what is going on in your life? Now I'm asking you, as a favor, if you have any respect for me at all as your mother, just tell me. Do you have feelings for this man?"

She felt trapped under her mother's gaze, and couldn't find the words to get her out of the interrogation. Finally, she knew that only the truth would get Emily to give up. "I don't know. Maybe I do. I haven't given it that much thought. Maybe I do."

"Thank you. I'm glad you were finally honest with me. Now we can discuss what on earth you could possibly be thinking. Don't forget the ice."

After Emily left the room, Lorelai put her hands on the counter, and hung her head. Two people in one day had questioned her true feelings for Luke, and neither one had any knowledge of anything more than friendship between she and Luke. Sookie had gone straight for assuming Lorelai wanted Luke in bed, which was true, and Emily had gone straight to forcing Lorelai to admit that she might have actual, real feelings for Luke, which was also true. Her head was spinning, and she really, really needed time to focus on what could potentially be happening here.

"Lorelai! Are you waiting for new ice to freeze? Get out here."

She sighed as she heard her mother's voice yell out to her, and gathered the ice to bring out.

….

"You ok?"

She slid her eyes over to Rory before looking back to the road in front of her. "Of course. This is the best time of the entire week, because it's literally the furthest point from having to see my parents again."

"You know what I mean."

"Well, that duck my mother served tonight isn't sitting too well right now, if that's what you mean."

"Mom, come on. Was Grandma really upset about Luke?"

She cocked an eyebrow. "Yeah, you could say that."

"I'm sorry for saying anything."

She looked over briefly and then reached out to pat her daughter's leg. "Aw, don't worry, kid. It's not like I haven't had this discussion with your grandmother before. It'll be fine. Next week I'll wear rhinestones, and all will be forgotten." Even she knew that her words didn't sound convincing, but her energy was so low, it was all she could do.

After a few miles of silence, Rory spoke up. "Would you be ok if I went over to Dean's for a bit tonight?"

"Yeah, of course. I should probably go talk to Luke anyways to make plans to pick up paint for the diner."

"I still think it's weird you offered to do that."

She sighed, and chose to ignore the statement. There was no way she was going to rehash this particular subject yet again. "I'll drop you off."

The atmosphere in the car was pretty dour, and she was happy when the sign for Stars Hollow came into view. Without speaking, she parked in front of Dean's house and waited for Rory to climb out. Before she did however, Rory looked back into the car. "Mom…"

She waved it off. "Don't worry about it. I'm just tired. I'll get some coffee, make some plans, and I'll see you at home later on."

"Ok."

As Rory closed the door behind her, she let out a long breath, and threw the Jeep in drive, heading over to Luke's. Through the windows, she could see him tipping chairs up on tables, so she knew he was closed. But, since he was never closed for her, she parked and walked up to the door, tapping on the window to get his attention. When he saw it was her, she waved a little, and smiled as he moved towards the door and opened it.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"Just getting back from your parents'?"

"Yeah." When he didn't move from the threshold of the door to let her pass, she felt a little uneasy, so fell back on her usual defense mechanism. "Training for your new job as a bouncer?"

He seemed to realize what he was doing, and stepped aside, allowing her to walk in, and take her usual seat at the counter.

"I wanted to see when you wanted to go get paint."

"Oh."

It seemed like he had been expecting her to say something else and was thrown by her statement, but she continued on anyways. "Yeah, I mean, we could go together tomorrow so then we'll have everything." She watched as he relocked the front door, and swiveled on her stool as he rounded the counter and headed towards the coffeepot, which she noticed was full. It was almost as if he was waiting for her arrival.

"Coffee?"

She smirked. "Do you even have to ask?"

Wordlessly, he pulled her favorite mug down and filled it to the brim. She smiled her gratitude, and ducked her head down to take a long sip. While she slowly emptied her cup, she was acutely aware of Luke moving around the diner, finishing up on the final items that needed to be done for the night. When the overhead lights went out, she wasn't surprised, and was even less surprised when he brushed his fingers along her ass as he walked by and headed towards the curtain. She looked up at him when he paused on the threshold, and put down her coffee cup. "Can we just sit tonight?"

He looked surprised at her request, but nodded. "Of course."

Taking a quick glance outside the windows, and feeling confident no one was out there, she gathered her bag and coat, and followed Luke upstairs and into his apartment. When the door closed behind her, she noticed Luke was standing awkwardly a few feet away from her. Taking pity on him, she reached for his hand, walked him to the couch, and pulled him down next to her. Once he was settled, she curled into him, and finally relaxed when his arms wrapped around her.

After the discussions with Sookie and Emily that day, it just felt wrong to jump into bed with Luke tonight, regardless of what her body was craving. Instead, she was content to just have him hold her, so she could relax for a few minutes. However, she couldn't stay long, because she wasn't sure how soon Rory would be home, and there was no way she could explain why the diner was visibly closed, yet she still wasn't home.

"You ok?"

His voice startled her a little, but she appreciated his concern. However, time was ticking away from her, so she pulled from his embrace. She knew she needed to talk to him, but needed to do so when they had time, and not when Rory was on her way home. "So, tomorrow? Paint trip?"

"Sounds good." He narrowed his eyes. "Are you sure you're ok?"

She smiled and started backing away to the door. "Yup. Just a lot on my mind. Bye, Luke."

"Bye, crazy lady."

…..

The next day went by with she and Luke acting like the friends they were, and after dropping off more paint than she could imagine at the diner, and setting a date for Friday to paint the place, she was happy to see Rory. With a plan set for Chinese food for dinner, and a quick stop for fruit, the day was on course to being a good one.

And when she heard the distinct roar of an Indian motorcycle going through town, she could feel her blood pumping, and all she wanted to do was run in front of the driver and ask him to let her ride with him.

But then the driver stopped right near them, and when he made an inappropriate comment to her, she instantly regretted her desire to have the driver take her away. Instead, he took her daughter away, and as she watched them ride off into the sunset, she knew her life was suddenly going to take a turn, and not necessarily for the better. All she could do in the moment, was mutter his name. "Christopher."


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer:** Totally don't own these characters, or this world. I just like to be a part of it. I give all credit to the writers of this fantastic show for the dialogue I've borrowed.

 **Author's Notes:**

Even I hated myself for that cliffhanger, but in my defense, that _is_ how the episode ended…

Also, with the holidays coming up, I'm not going to be able to update for a bit so apologies in advance! I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving and epic Revival binge-fest!

* * *

 **Fifteen and Sixteen**

Sometimes, she had a feeling that someone out there was hell-bent on keeping her unhappy in her love life. First, she had Christopher who left once Rory appeared. Then she had Max, who she had to leave because of Rory, and now she had Luke, but Christopher's sudden appearance in Stars Hollow threatened that as well.

It felt uncomfortable having him at the house – and she only agreed to it because Rory asked – and it was even more uncomfortable trying to sound positive to Rory about Christopher's presence, all the while trying to set up her daughter for the possibility of her father leaving yet again. And when he made a comment about her shower, she tried hard to temper her annoyance, and worked even harder to sound normal while Rory was in the room. But as soon as Rory left, she immediately started grilling Christopher about his true intentions for showing up out of the blue, and wasn't believing anything he was telling her.

She tried to make nice through dinner and the rest of the evening, but just couldn't get past the feeling of uneasiness swirling in her stomach. Thankfully, she had work the next day, so used that as an excuse to go to bed early, ignoring the comments Christopher threw her way about getting soft in her old age.

The next morning, she was able to sneak out of the house without talking to him, and was grateful for Sookie asking about what was going on because it gave her the opportunity to verbalize her conflicting feelings. She had to admit, it was weird having Christopher in the house. It was like he was just kind of shoehorned in there, and while it was nice to have him around, it didn't feel right. Something felt off. But then he would smile, and it was…Christopher. As much as she wanted to paint him out to be the bad guy for ditching her and Rory, she did have a history with him. He had been there for everything when she was growing up, and that was hard to ignore. He was her first love, and it was always difficult to forget a first love – especially when there was continuing communication over the years.

There was also that small part of her that really wanted him back in their lives permanently – to be the family they should have been – but lately, that small part seemed to be less and less sure.

The rest of the day was fairly uneventful, and after checking a final guest in, she announced her departure, and headed into town to meet Rory and Christopher at the diner. Rory had called earlier to say she had taken Christopher to the softball game, and was then going to take him around town to show off all of her favorite spots – one of which was definitely the diner.

When she entered, she noted Luke busy with a few other patrons, so instead sat herself at a table close to the window so she could watch for the rest of her group. Cesar brought her a piece of pie and some coffee, and she settled in with her book.

A few minutes after she finished eating, Luke's voice cut through her thoughts, and she looked up from her book towards him as he refilled her coffee cup, before noticing the serious look in his eyes.

"So Rory was at the game today."

"Oh yeah."

"Yeah, she was with some guy."

She knew what he was hinting at, and deep down it felt good, because it kind of seemed like he was jealous. Maybe Christopher being in town might be the push Luke needed to ask her out. However, she couldn't let him off the hook and voluntarily answer the unspoken question, so instead, she pointed out the obvious. "Dean."

"No, I know that punk. Some older guy."

Yup, he was definitely curious as to who Christopher was. "Oh, that would've been her dad." She flicked her eyes down to the plate he cleared from her table.

"Really? So that's uh…"

"The guy who impregnated me with Rory – yes."

"Oh, well, he did a good job."

"Impregnating me with Rory?"

"Now this has taken a very weird turn."

"Yeah."

As Luke scurried away from the sudden awkwardness hovering over them like a wet blanket, Rory and Chris walked in and sat down with her. However, even the prospect of having a nice meal with them at the diner was quickly thwarted when Emily called and informed her that Christopher's parents would be at Friday night dinner that week. That singular phone call managed to put a dark pall over the rest of the day and week. Nothing could be enjoyed, and she tried to spend as much time at the Inn as possible. At least there, she could interact with people who knew nothing about her past, and accepted her as who she was today.

However depressing the week was, it did fly by rather quickly, and before she knew it, she was standing in front of her parents' front door, absolutely dreading everything that was beyond it. It didn't help that Christopher was standing next to her, oozing the same dread she felt. Mercifully, they beat Straub and Francine there, which allowed her to throw back a few martinis to mellow out the anxiety freely flowing through her body, and steel herself for what was to come.

But she didn't have enough martinis in her to prepare for just how bad the evening would be. First, there were the awful introductions. Then she tried to deflect the negative attention from Rory, but that only upped the tension in the room, and placed the negative attention on her. She was used to it however, and could have painfully sat through it, but then the negativity was put back on Rory, and while she quickly pushed Rory out of the room, the unthinkable happened. Her father jumped to her defense and kicked Straub and Francine out of the house. She was left standing with Christopher, shell shocked, and unsure of what to do next.

When she realized her parents weren't coming back to the sitting room, she excused herself from Christopher, and went to find her father. Of course, he was in his study, and for the first time in her life, she finally thought he was being a real father to her – coming to her defense. But then he explained he wasn't defending her – he was defending the Gilmore name – and he really did agree with Straub, and felt Lorelai had been selfish in choosing to run away with Rory. When he essentially kicked her out of the study, she felt the hot tears begin to stream down her face.

She had to run. She had to get away. However, there was no way she could jump in the car and split, because she had two passengers when she arrived, and knew she needed two when she left as well. So, unable to run, she decided to hide, and went to the place she hid all those years she was forced to live in the house – on the balcony off her bedroom.

God, how had this night gone so wrong? Christopher's parents were never the greatest people in the world, but never would she have thought they were capable of being like this. And worse yet, how could her father be that cold towards her? She knew their relationship wasn't the best, but this new revelation of his opinions about her was a new low, even for them. The window slid open as quietly as it ever did, and she carefully climbed through it, crawled to the far corner of the balcony, and sat down, hanging her head in her hands as the tears began to flow. Nothing good seemed to ever happen in this house, and worst of all, tonight Rory was the brunt of the disappointment. Normally, she was the recipient of those feelings of disappointment, but never Rory. She always shielded Rory, but tonight, everything had gone horribly wrong. And it was all Christopher's fault. If he hadn't come to town, then he wouldn't have come to Friday night dinner, and his parents definitely wouldn't have been there either.

But how could anyone see Rory as a disappointment? It baffled her. And it destroyed her. She needed to get up and get Rory out of there. They needed to go home, and have some quality time together. Maybe they could go see a movie, or throw an impromptu party so that they could be surrounded by those they loved. But they couldn't, because Christopher was around. He would want to be involved in whatever they did tonight, and on one hand, he did deserve to be a part of their celebrations. It wasn't his fault his father went off like he did, and she couldn't rationally hate him for his parents. Because if she did, by that logic, she should hate herself.

And then her cone of silence was broken by Christopher. He found her in her hiding spot, but then, how could he not? Like they reminisced, they spent a lot of time together hiding out on that balcony. Most of those times in their past, there was a bottle of tequila, and that powerful elixir was a big part as to why Rory even existed. So when Christopher pulled out a bottle of tequila, she found herself falling into memories of the past – far from the disaster of the current evening.

When his lips touched hers, for a brief second she was transported back to those nights when they were teenagers, and with the tequila warming her blood, all was right with the world. But when her shirt rode up ever so slightly and the cold stone touched her bare back, reality slammed into her like a freight train. Suddenly she was stone cold sober, and remembered where she was. She wasn't a teenager with her boyfriend. She was an adult, and this most definitely wasn't the man of her current dreams on top of her. It was all wrong. There was no facial scruff rubbing against the sensitive skin of her face. There was no faint smell of burgers and coffee. There was no soft flannel brushing against her stomach. None of that was there, because Luke wasn't there, and she knew this wasn't right, so she slipped her arms between her and Chris, and pushed on his chest. "Chris, stop."

Her words didn't seem to be getting through to him however, and he pressed his lips to hers once again. So again, more forcefully, she pushed against him, and wriggled out from beneath him a little. "Christopher!"

He stopped, and looked at her quizzically. "What's wrong?"

"I just…"She pulled herself fully out from under him, and leaned her back against the stone wall, looking at him, and seeing the confusion in his eyes. "We shouldn't be doing this."

"Why not?" He sat back on his heels, resting his hands on his thighs.

"Chris, come on. This cannot happen between us. And it definitely can't happen here, now." She looked at her watch. "Besides, we should have left already." Not even waiting for his reaction, she stood up, brushed herself off, and pushed past him to climb back through the window. As soon as the warm air of her childhood bedroom hit her, she felt sick to her stomach. Nothing about this evening was going well, but at least for once in her life, she had been able to resist Christopher, and she forced herself to hold onto that one positive.

During the car ride home, not much was said, but there was a brief moment when she and Christopher had to dance around Rory's questioning of where they had disappeared to that evening. Once home, all she wanted to do was to escape to her room, bury herself under her covers and let sleep overtake her so this day could be over. However, she first needed to make sure Rory was ok, and once she was satisfied her daughter had made it through the evening relatively unscathed, she quickly escaped Rory's scrutiny of the dirt on her from the almost-mistake on the balcony. But when she noticed her reflection in the mirror, she was disgusted at herself and decided a shower was definitely needed before she went to bed.

She tossed and turned throughout the night, unable to sleep because there was a weird feeling gnawing at her stomach that kept making her blood run cold. However, she couldn't put her finger on what it was, and kept turning over, hoping sleep would eventually come.

As the early morning light started streaming through her window, she finally gave up on sleep, and started to really think about what happened the night before. She had almost slept with Christopher. Once again, he sucked her in to his aura. All he had to do was smile and she was dazzled, instantly forgetting everything bad he had ever done to her and Rory. It was just like with Max, but Max dazzled her with his wordsmithing. Both were just as bad. And both men never seemed to really enter her mind until she was in their presence. It wasn't like with Luke, where she thought about him all the time. It was thoughts of him that stopped her from making a horrible, horrible mistake the night before. It was thoughts of him that helped her through the rough parts of any day. It was…her blood ran cold once again, and she sat up and gasped as her mind finally wrapped around why she had that gnawing feeling in her stomach all night. Luke. She had stood up Luke. Oh, god. "Oh no! No, no, no."

She flung the blankets off of her body, and ran down the stairs, shoving her feet in a pair of Uggs, and shoving her arms into a jacket, not even processing she was still in her pajamas. She ran down the street towards the diner, praying he would forgive her. Praying he would be there so she could throw herself at his feet and beg for that forgiveness. The cold air bit through the flannel pajamas, but she didn't care. All she cared about was seeing Luke.

When she arrived to the diner, she noted it was still plunged in darkness, which wasn't surprising for the early hour of the morning, but when she saw everything pulled off the walls, and tarps draped across the tables, she felt sick to her stomach, and was grateful she hadn't eaten anything yet, because if she had, it would have definitely made an unwelcome reappearance. She reached above the door for her key, but her fingers grasped only air. The key was gone. That knowledge had her retching, and she again was thankful she hadn't eaten. Instead, she dropped to the stoop, willing to sit and wait for him so she could grovel.

When he appeared in front of her, rather than the door opening behind her, it threw her a little, but she ignored the question in her mind of where he was coming from, and instead jumped to her feet, not even waiting for him to speak. "I feel horrible."

"Don't."

The disappointment in his voice made her want to cry. "I stood you up and I didn't even call."

"It's ok."

"I'm a rat. We had a date and I stood you up."

"It wasn't a date, it was just a paint."

"I'm a rat, I need cheese." God, why did she always have to say such dumb things when she was nervous? Sometimes her defense mechanism worked horribly against her.

"Forget it."

The finality in his voice rattled her. It was as if he was telling her to forget everything that had happened between them, and she started bouncing on her feet, pulling at his sleeves. "Hey, hey, let's reschedule."

"You know, I really didn't even want to do it in the first place."

Suddenly, it felt as though he was alluding that their painting together was going to be the initial shift in their relationship to something more, and now that she had screwed it up, he was shutting down that option, and it was making her frantic. She needed to save this. She couldn't lose him. "No, no come on, don't change your mind. We could do it tonight, or…or right now."

"Was it an emergency?"

"Yes. You would not believe what happened. I slipped and I busted my..." She didn't know what she was doing. She couldn't lie to him. It would only make this worse. "It wasn't an emergency. It was just me being a rat."

"Something came up?"

"Yeah."

"Something…someone."

He was assuming things of her, and she wasn't sure how to take that. "Luke."

"Am I right?"

"Nothing happened."

"Yeah, ok. Well, I'm late."

When he pushed past her into the diner, he didn't even act like he wanted her to follow, and she barely squeaked out an, "oh," as he closed the door. When it closed, she felt as though everything she and Luke had been building together for weeks had just shattered, and it was all her fault. Tears started to fall, and she rushed away, not wanting Luke to see her cry. She needed to fix this. She needed to fix what she and Luke had, but she couldn't do it here. She couldn't do it now. Now, she needed to go home, and sort out what to do.

As the front door closed behind her, she could hear movement in the kitchen, so made her way there. The scent of coffee hung heavily in the air, and made her feel sick to her stomach. Then seeing Christopher standing there offering her a cup made her feel even worse – especially when he immediately wanted to discuss the night before. She couldn't handle it, and pointed out just how bad it was, and how awful it was she had stood up a friend. How she had stood up Luke.

When Christopher said her name, stopping her mid-rant, she had a brief moment when she hoped he had come to his senses, but then he asked her to marry him, and she felt like she was going to cry. The argument about what a family was came up, the argument of what band was better came up, and the argument of their decision 16 years ago came up, and suddenly, she needed coffee. What she really needed was a stiff drink, but the sun was still coming up.

He said he was ready. He said he wanted to be a family, but she knew. Deep down, she knew, and when she grilled him about his business and he confirmed how unreliable it was, she knew. He wasn't ready, and she couldn't do this. She couldn't be that person for him. He might think she was his soulmate, and maybe at one point that might have been true, but they were very different people now, and she had a very good feeling that Christopher was not her soulmate. Someone else out there was.

However, she begged Chris to not leave them forever - Rory still needed her father. But that was all the energy she had for Chris at the moment, and thankfully, he took the hint and informed her he was leaving that day. She watched as he walked out of the kitchen to shower, and let out a huge sigh.

After she and Rory waved him away, she went back to bed. Finally, her exhaustion was overpowering, and she needed to be able to stay up all night. She needed to apologize to Luke, and knowing him, he would not accept a verbal apology, so she wanted to get the diner painted. That would be her apology.

So late that night, after the town had gone to sleep, she snuck up to the diner. She noticed his truck was gone, and made a mental note to ask him the next morning where he spent the night, but for the time being, she had a diner to paint. However, as her fingertips brushed against hard wood and nothing more once again as she reached for her key, she panicked. How was she going to get in? When headlights illuminated the diner, she froze on the spot, knowing she was fully, and completely busted, and was already working up a plausible explanation when she realized the headlights were connected to a delivery van.

Not one to pass up divine intervention when she saw it, she bribed Luke's bread guy to let her in, and as he loaded up the pantry with the shipment of bread, she set in for a long night of painting. After a few hours, she had to open the door to let the fumes disperse, until the cold air made her shiver. But still she painted, and continued until her arms started shaking from exertion, and did the final broad strokes. She dropped her roller in the tray, and stood back with her hands on her hips, taking time to admire her work. Not soon after, she noticed him walking up to the diner, and greeted him with a wild grin on her face. "Taa-daa!"

"How'd you get in here?"

"Your bread guy let me in."

"I'm switching bread guys."

Ignoring him, she followed him around the diner as he inspected her work. "What do you think?"

"I think you shouldn't break and enter."

Exasperating. "So what do you think?" She watched as his eyes slowly swept across the diner, taking everything in.

"Well, I gotta admit…it looks pretty good."

She placed her hand on his chest in glee, but quickly removed it once she realized what she had done, and not wanting to admit how much her heart was bursting with joy. "Oh, I knew you'd like it."

"Thanks."

"Anytime. It's fun." Her voice sounded too giddy even to her, but she couldn't help it. She was high on joy and a lot of paint fumes.

"So, uh, where's the guy?"

Leave it to Luke to cut right to the point, and kill her exuberance. Thankfully, she had the answer she knew he wanted to hear. "Oh, he's gone."

"Oh, too bad."

"No, it's good." Not wanting to dwell on the heavy topic at the moment, she looked up into Luke's blue eyes. "Luke?"

"Yeah?"

"Um, can I make one more suggestion?"

"Nope."

"Curtains."

"No."

"Manly curtains."

"Oxymoron."

"What did you call me?"

"No curtains."

"Aw, come on. You gotta give a little. How about a tablecloth?"

"No. We don't do table cloths here."

She danced around him as he continued pulling the chairs down off the tables for the impending breakfast rush, and breathed in deeply as the coffee he put on to brew started permeating the air around her. As she sat down at the counter, she realized through her exhilaration how tired she was, and knew she would have to grab a couple of hours of sleep before she went into work. But as she lifted her full cup of coffee to her lips, and watched Luke over the rim, she felt like once again, they were on stable ground. Somehow, thankfully, she had fixed her mistake, and was resolute about not letting anyone distract her from Luke again.

…..

She reached up behind her head and curled her fingers around her pillow, clutching desperately at the fabric, and feeling his hands cover hers. "Luke." His name tumbled from her lips.

"I've been thinking about you all day."

His voice curled around her like a warm embrace as he pulled one hand from hers, trailing a finger down her cheek, over her chest, and between the valley of her breasts, before tracing around her side, and sliding under her back, which she lifted ever so slightly off the mattress. A brief moment later, she felt the tension in her bra give way, and she felt a slight pang of loss as Luke pulled back. But when those talented fingers of his pulled the cups of her bra away, brushing against the sides of her breasts as they did, she shuddered in pleasure. She brought her arms down so he could fully pull the fabric away, and when he flung it over his shoulder, she had a feeling it was going to take a while to find. Tonight could potentially end up with her walking home braless, which, wouldn't be the first time.

However, the moment his hands molded to her breasts, kneading the sensitive flesh, all thoughts of her missing bra disappeared. "Oh yeah?"

"Yes." His response was short as his lips were much busier trailing hot, wet kisses down her throat. His tongue lapped the hollow at the base, while his thumb and forefinger began to roll her nipple before pinching it lightly. "I think about you all the time."

She wasn't sure she was even breathing anymore as he moved his hand from her breast down to the button on her jeans, which he flipped free with ease before lowering the zipper. With the material loosened from her body, he trailed his finger over the lace material of her panties which were now showing.

"I think about you here, naked, with me."

She drew in a shuddering breath, and forced her eyes open to look at him. "You have me."

He sat back on his heels, giving her the most glorious view of his erection standing at full attention just for her. Then he reached out and gripped the sides of her jeans, silently asking for her assistance, which she gladly gave, by pushing her hips off the bed so he could pull the tight denim down over her long, lean thighs. He stripped them off her completely, before throwing them in the same general direction as her bra.

With all barriers gone between the two, Luke ran his hands up her long legs, kneading her thighs gently, his gaze fixed on her dark curls. "You're beautiful." His warm breath teased the tops of her thighs, and she was positive he was going to make her come without even touching her. When his nose nuzzled against her most sensitive spot, her arms flung once again above her head, so her fingers could clutch the fabric of the pillow.

He pulled back slightly, and trailed his tongue up her inner thigh, stopping just short of where she wanted that tongue, and mirrored his actions on her other leg. When his tongue once again neared her most sensitive spot, he stopped to look up at her, his breath warm against her. He reached up, and his hand ran possessively down her waist, before dipping underneath her to squeeze her ass and then down her thigh, which he lifted and placed over his shoulder.

With better access, he parted her folds with his tongue, swirling it around her clit as her body pushed into him. He hummed in satisfaction, and the vibrations shot through her core.

She could feel her body tightening, and she knew she was close, so when he pulled away from her, she whimpered. When he chuckled, she groaned. "Luke, please." But when he rose above her, and she could feel the tip of his cock touch her entrance, her blood started to race. Then he slowly pushed into her, and she wrapped her arms around him, holding him close, relishing in the long, deep groan that rumbled from deep within him.

Her arms fell from around him as he pulled back, and when he thrust into her again, her head pushed back on the pillow, and her eyes closed in pleasure. "Oh, god, Luke." She met him thrust for thrust, and begged him to take it to the next level. "Harder, Luke. Harder." He was so deep within her, and she could feel her body starting to lose control. Out of nowhere, her climax hit her, and she tightened around him, shouting his name as the waves of pleasure rippled through her.

As she was coming down from her high, she could hear him shout her name in response, and felt him filling her. When he collapsed on her, she trailed her fingers down his back, dimly aware that their breathing was completely in sync.

When she finally felt like her heart was returning to a slightly more normal pace, she breathed out a, "wow." After a few more moments, he pulled out of her, and she winced at the loss, comforted only by the fact that he pulled her close. It was all he could do in the small confines of the single bed, but it still felt good. She curled her arms around him, and dropped her head to his chest, perfectly content.

"Lorelai?"

"Hmmm?"

"I want to take you out on a real date. No more of this sneaking around. I want us to be public."

She smiled against his skin, and pressed a kiss to his chest, reveling in the feeling of him stroking her hair. "That would be amazing."

The shrill ring of an alarm clock broke the peacefulness of the moment, and when she lifted her head from Luke's chest to see where the alarm was so she could break it, everything around her began to blur, and her head felt funny. She blinked a few times, and suddenly realized she was in her own bed, and it was her alarm for the morning going off. As she reached over to turn it off, she sighed deeply. Of course it had been a dream.

…..

It had been a few weeks since she repainted the diner, and while she and Luke had definitely seen each other – some instances a little more R rated than others – he still hadn't made any move towards a deeper relationship with her, and it was really starting to get to her - especially after her dream. Add in the fact that the Firelight Festival was in full preparation, and that the festival in the eyes of Stars Hollow citizens was a more romantic concept than Valentine's Day could ever be, her mood was downright dour. So much so, she was actually contemplating cooking so she wouldn't have to set foot in the diner. However, leave it to her daughter to fully rain on her parade, and get to the heart of why she was in the mood to cook.

"So, tell me, why the sudden need to be domestic?"

"Ah, I don't know. I'm in like a funky mood."

"Why?"

She tried to wave off the questioning. "Too many stars, too much love, it makes me cranky."

"I take it you haven't heard from Mr. Medina?"

"Hmm, no. I haven't." The sudden mention of Max seemed to come out of nowhere, and in the recesses of her mind, she figured at some point she should ask Rory about where that came from, but her daughter continued before she could say anything.

"Maybe that's why you're cranky."

"Ok, new subject please." She really didn't want to be talking about Max Medina. Max was so far from her mind, it was like he was a character in a novel she had once read. No, her thoughts were on Luke, and why he seemed to be just fine with their current situation. All day, the old saying, 'why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free' kept swirling in her head, and she kept thinking a male who had the current arrangement that Luke did with her was the one who came up with it.

"You know, you have a phone also."

Rory's voice cut through her musings, and since she was not at all interested in continuing wherever Rory wanted to go with this conversation, she switched back to the topic at hand. "How's it coming with that pan?"

…

The next day did nothing to lighten her mood. Of course, she slept in, which meant she had zero time to make and/or go get coffee, and frankly, as she climbed into her Jeep, she considered it a minor miracle that she had remembered to put pants on. However, when she noticed the level of the gas in her tank, the small win for the day quickly dissipated.

Thankfully, she had enough to make it to the Inn, but wasn't too sure how far she would make it beyond that. As she walked in the front door, she was trying to figure out how who she could bribe to get gas for her, but had to quickly push the thought aside as one problem after another accosted her.

It was a couple of hours later before she was finally able to slip into the kitchen for some much needed coffee, but when she walked in, she interrupted Sookie and Jackson in the middle of a make out session. What was with this town and the Firelight Festival? The last thing she needed was another couple in love thrown in her face. Irritated that there was no coffee, she retreated to the front desk. However, Michel refused to be baited by her into a verbal sparring match, so her need for coffee became overwhelming. She needed to get out, so she grabbed her coat, and walked down to her Jeep, but when she pulled the door open, she remembered the lack of fuel, and blew out a sigh as she slammed the door. Maybe a walk into town would help her clear her mind.

As she trudged into town, she finally felt the tension in her body starting to lift, but as soon as she saw the bustling setup of the festival swirling around the town square, the irritation immediately took over yet again. Almost being killed by a falling papier-mâché star was just the icing on the cake.

When she crossed the threshold of the diner, the usual feeling of calm the building gave her washed over her. Unfortunately, she needed a lot more calmness to break through her mood today, so she pushed forward to the counter, and flopped down on a stool. Thankfully, Luke was standing at the counter, so, at least there was that. "I was almost crushed by a papier-mâché star. How's your day?"

"Well, it's looking pretty good now."

Because she was so wrapped up in her hatred for the day, she totally missed his blatant flirting, and just pushed forward. "Coffee, please, and a shot of cynicism."

"So, why so cheery?"

She sighed. She wanted to tell him the real reason, but now was not the time, nor place. "I don't know. I'm just in a mood. I don't know why."

"But, there's no particular reason for this mood?"

"No."

"Uh huh."

"You don't believe me?"

"No, I believe you. If you say there's no reason for the mood, then there's no reason for the mood. You're simply nuts."

"Or bipolar. That's very big nowadays." The banter between she and Luke was helping infinitely with getting her mind off of things, but of course Taylor and Patty had to start arguing about the festival, and she couldn't take it anymore. "Ugh, can nobody talk about anything else but this stupid festival?" Almost immediately, she realized there was a very good chance that her train of thought had actually been spoken out loud. With a slight glimmer of fear in her eyes, she made eye contact with Luke, as she asked for his confirmation. "That came out a lot louder than it was supposed to, didn't it?"

"Yup."

Oh boy. "Yup." Sighing, she swiveled on her stool to face Taylor, internally steeling herself for a sure lecture.

"This festival is commemorating the founding of our town, young lady."

"I know, Taylor. I'm sorry."

"She's bipolar."

Luke's voice had her smirking, and she was eternally grateful for him swooping in to save her. Seeing that she was safe from Taylor's wrath for another day, she swiveled back to face the counter, tracking Luke's movements as she spoke. "I don't know what's wrong with me. This is a beautiful festival. People should be enjoying it."

"It's a crazy festival based on a nutty myth about two lunatics, who in all probability did not even exist. And even if they did, probably dropped dead of diphtheria before age 24. The town of Stars Hollow probably got its name from the local dance hall prostitute. Two rich drunk guys who made up the story to make it look good on a poster."

While Luke ranted, she could feel the tension in her body leveling out, and the grin on her face intensifying. For some weird reason, there were few things in the world that could calm her down more than listening to one of Luke's rants. He just got so worked up about things, and it was that same passion that made him irresistible to her. When he finished, she realized how incredibly right he was for her. They were the perfect balance for each other. She lightened him up, while he anchored her. And right now, he was anchoring her in her irritation of this particular festival, and she loved it. "You are full of hate and loathing, and I gotta tell you, I love it!"

"Oh, it's so good to have somebody to share this hate with."

When he leaned towards her, and his voice dropped to that timbre that was usually only heard in the bedroom, she felt a shudder of desire ripple through her body, and she tossed him a saucy grin. "My pleasure."

"More coffee?"

"Yeah please. Hey, tomorrow, if you have time, I'm planning on despising everyone who says, 'hey, how's it going?'"

"You're on."

"Hey, how's it going?"

The female voice that rang out behind her was foreign to her ears, and she couldn't believe how quickly someone had fallen for her plan. "Oh, now that's just too easy." However, the look of disbelief in Luke's eyes caught her attention, and for some reason, it felt like time was slowing down, and she knew deep within her soul that something was wrong.

"Rachel."

The name tumbling from Luke's lips had a small bubble of fear burst in her stomach. "Rachel? Your Rachel?" When Luke nodded to her question, she had to turn to finally put a face to the name she had heard about so much lately. The woman who had captured and broken Luke's heart. The woman who she already fully believed she would despise as per her original plan of people speaking the catch phrase. So, she swiveled on her stool and saw a woman who very easily could have been on the cover of a magazine. "You're Rachel?"

"Yup, I'm Rachel."

As Rachel and Luke quickly caught up, all she could hear was the blood rushing between her ears. If she had stayed in bed that morning, would the day have been as bad as it was now? How could this be happening? And when Rachel sat right next to her, she had to bury her nose in her coffee cup, hoping maybe she could make herself invisible right now. But when she heard Luke start to stumble, she felt compelled to jump in and help him, even if it was to help him with wonder woman. "He thinks you look good too. Right?"

"Right."

"And you do."

"Thank you."

Sensing that Luke wasn't going to jump in anytime soon, she decided she might as well introduce herself, so Rachel didn't think she was just some lump on a stool. "I'm Lorelai."

"Oh, yeah. She's Lorelai."

"I'm Luke's friend."

"Yeah. She uh, uh, works at the Independence Inn."

Feeling slightly irritated at Luke's unintended slight, she huffed out a breath. "I run it, actually."

"Sorry, she runs it."

"Wow, I love that place."

"Oh!" Wow, maybe she did have some sort of leg up on Rachel.

"That must be a pretty big job."

"It is! It's crazy. There's always something happening. Like, we just put these coffee makers in all the rooms, but only half of them work. They just like shake and gurgle, like they're having some kind of a fit." She paused as she realized just how ridiculous her story was becoming, and how quickly she was losing whatever leg up she may have had on Rachel, so she decided she needed to switch the focus of conversation away from her, and barely spit out the question, "why were you in the Mideast?"

"I was doing a photo story on how Palestinian and Israeli families have been affected by the violence."

"Uh huh, well, so you understand about the job pressure." Did she really just say that? Did she really just equate violence in the Mideast to malfunctioning coffeemakers? Why was she babbling like an idiot?

"Yeah."

Embarrassment washed over her as Rachel hesitantly agreed to her awful comparison, and she knew she needed to get out of there so she couldn't further embarrass herself. Grabbing her things, she stood up. "I'm gonna go."

"Please, don't let me drive you away."

"That's ok, you're not. I have to go sit in a closet or something. So, it was really nice to meet you." Oh god. Get out, get out. Stop talking.

"Yeah, you too."

"Ok, bye." She backed away from Rachel and out the door, and as the door snapped closed behind her, she slapped her forehead, and hung her head in shame and embarrassment. Why, oh why did her words have to fail her when she needed to be at her wittiest? She just made a fool out of herself to the one person who had managed to capture Luke's heart. This was literally that one moment where the new girlfriend could establish her superiority over the old girlfriend, and she had failed miserably. Not that she was the new girlfriend, but she definitely did not do anything to help prove to Luke why he should choose her to be his girlfriend. She wanted to look back, to see if Rachel and Luke were still rooted to their respective spots, but she couldn't. She didn't want to know if they were currently wrapped in each other's arms. She just wanted to get back to the Inn, so the day could eventually be over, and she could sneak some booze into her room and drink herself to sleep that night.

But then the realization came that it was Friday, and tonight she had dinner at her parents'. Without Rory. "Dammit," she muttered under her breath as she trudged back towards the Inn. This was not a good day at all.

…..

"Rory!" The second she opened the front door, she shouted for her best friend. The day had been a disaster, and she needed to get the interaction with Rachel off her chest before she exploded. "Rory!" Where was that kid? She had to have been home already, because it was getting late, and she needed to leave for her date really soon.

"Mom!"

She looked up towards the top of the stairs where Rory's voice came from, and watched as Rory bounded down the stairs and enveloped her in a hug before continuing on.

"I'm so happy you're home! Can you help me with my hair? I'm running late."

Leave it to a 16 year old to bring some levity to her day. "Of course, sweets." She followed Rory into Rory's bedroom, accepted the brush that was thrust her way, and watched as Rory settled down in front of the mirror. "You will never guess who I met today."

"Who?"

"Rachel."

"Rachel?"

"Luke's Rachel."

"She's in town?"

She started brushing Rory's hair, using the tedious task to try to calm her anxiety. "Yeah. She just finished some photo assignment and decided to hop on a plane and come for a visit."

"And how did it go meeting her?"

"Oh, you know, I was my usual, delightful self."

"You stuck your foot in your mouth?"

She stopped brushing, and held Rory's head in her hands while making eye contact in the mirror. "Hey, whose side are you on?" When her daughter raised an eyebrow, she sighed, and continued brushing. "Deeper than I ever have before."

"What happened?"

"I'm not sure. I was talking about the Inn, and then all of a sudden I started talking about the coffeemakers. 'Oh, we got new coffeemakers.' Ugh! What was I thinking?"

"Well, you spent a lot of time picking out those coffeemakers."

"Oh yeah, I'm Mrs. Coffee."

"Ow! Ok, I'm still attached to the head."

When Rory reached up to hold her head, she realized how hard she had been pulling the long locks. "Ok, sorry. I'm a little worked up." Figuring it best to eliminate the possible weapon disguised as a hair brush, she put it on the dresser and grabbed some clips she could put in Rory's hair.

"Mom, it's just Luke's ex-girlfriend."

"I know. I just hate that I made myself look so stupid in front of…"

"Luke?"

"No, Rachel. She was standing there, fresh off a plane, and she had no plane hair at all might I add."

"And what exactly is plane hair?"

"You know, it's all big and all…bah."

"Got it."

With the clip in Rory's hair, she once again reached for the hairbrush, and continued brushing out the knots in Rory's locks. "And he's staring at her like she's Miss September and she's looking at him like he's Johnny Depp, and I was just babbling like a moron. What is wrong with me?"

"Ow! Ow! Ok, you are officially off hair duty."

"Aw, I'm sorry. I just…"

"No, it's ok. I just think it's a little early for Dean to see me completely bald."

"Right, that's more a six-month thing."

"So what's going on with you?"

"I don't know. It's just all this love in the air, you know. There's just been so much going on with your Dad coming home and family stuff and your constant existence…"

"Thanks for the love."

"Any time. So, I haven't had a lot of time to focus on it, and I miss being with someone."

"I know."

"I had a dream the other night."

"Really? Dirty?"

Had she really just said that to Rory? Falling back on plausible deniability, she shook her head. "No, absolutely not. And when you're 21, I'll tell you the real answer. Anyways, it's put me in a funk since then."

"I'm sorry."

"Me too. We could talk about me for years, and believe me, we will. But, let's focus on you, the lady of the evening. No hooker reference intended."

"As much as I appreciate being the lady of the evening, you can't change the subject now. Who's the guy?"

"W-what?"

"Who's the guy?"

"What guy?"

"The guy. The guy in your dream who has you looking all gooey-eyed."

"I do not look gooey-eyed."

"Uh, yeah you do."

"Uh, no I don't. New subject, please."

"Is it someone I know? Is that why you're being so evasive? Ooo! Is it Kirk? It's Kirk, isn't it."

"Ok, I'm leaving now." She stood up from where she was sitting, and threw Rory a pout before she left the room. The last thing she needed was Rory teasing her about her love life. It was embarrassing, and besides, she had a Friday night flagellation to get to.

…..

In all honesty, after yet another disaster of a Friday night dinner, this one including a horrible set up by Emily resulting in the need to climb out a window to escape, she had planned to go straight home, which is why she bought two cups of coffee from the shop in Hartford. By doing so, she could skip even stopping at the diner. But when she drove through the town square, the light from the fire drew her in like a moth, so she parked, and started walking through the festival. She had to admit, it was pretty, especially the giant bonfire in the middle of the square. As she made her way around, she noticed Luke sitting down on a bench, and immediately changed her direction towards him. Regardless of her embarrassing moment earlier that day in front of him, she really wanted the comfort of his company at the moment, so she sat down right next to him on the bench.

"Hey. Where the hell's the fire department when you need them?"

"Hey, aren't you supposed to be in Hartford?"

"Yeah."

"What happened?"

"Climbed out the window."

"Ok."

She looked at him as he stared at his hands, waiting for some sort of follow up retort from him, but when nothing came, she had to snort. "That's it? You're not curious why?"

"No."

"That's what I love about you." As soon as the words escaped her mouth, she realized her mistake and tensed to see what Luke's reaction would be. However, he seemed to miss her declaration, or chose to ignore it, and changed the direction of the conversation.

"Hey, how long you been here?"

Grateful for the change in topic, but a little disappointed he didn't say anything about her words, she looked at him. "A little while."

"Did you see Harry and Taylor get into a fist fight?"

She gasped. "No! Aww! How did I miss that? I'm so bummed!"

"It was good."

When it seemed like that was it for their conversation, her curiosity got the better of her, and she had to ask. "So, where's Rachel?" Admittedly, she was nervous to ask the question, and even more nervous as to the answer.

"Oh, she's a founder's party punch junkie."

Ok, so, Rachel was at the festival with Luke, but it sounded like she was off doing her own thing. That was good, right? "God, even the nice girls aren't safe."

"Yeah. She's been running around here taking all kinds of pictures."

"She's having a good time."

"I guess so. I hope so."

She took a deep breath, because she knew that beating around the bush with Luke wasn't going to get her anywhere. She needed to ask him straight up what was going on with him and Rachel. "So?"

"Yes?"

"So, what's the haps with you two?"

"The haps? Well, let's see. What is the haps?"

But of course, he had to mock her about her word choice. 'The haps' weren't the best choice, but they were what they were. "I mean, like, ya know, what's going…"

"I know what you meant by the haps."

"Ok, well, you're repeating it like a thousand times." She could feel her frustration level with Luke rising. It was like he was avoiding answering her question, which, in her mind, answered her question, and it wasn't the answer she was hoping for.

"I was pondering."

"Well, you ponder really slowly."

"If I did it fast, it wouldn't be pondering. Pondering by nature is a slow connotation."

"Ok. Fine, fine."

"It's ok."

"Is she staying?"

"I don't know."

"Do you want her to?"

"I don't know."

This conversation was going nowhere fast, but it was making her sad. Unfortunately, she had to point out the obvious, and it was killing her to do so. "She seems to really like you."

"Yeah, she does, but she doesn't have the greatest attention span."

"Yeah."

"But she is here."

"Yes, she is."

"I don't know. You spend a lot of time debating things, ya know, is it right, is it wrong, or should I do this, should I do that. I mean, sometimes you should just jump in and take a shot. What's the worst that can happen? She left before, I lived. Maybe this time."

Her heart was slowly breaking apart as Luke talked, and as he did, she knew that in order to keep him in her life, she needed to support him. He always supported her with all of her dates. "I think that's really great."

"You do?"

"Yeah."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

When they looked at each other, it was like they had a silent conversation that he was thinking about trying this thing with Rachel, and she did her best to look supportive. After a few moments, he nodded to her.

"Well, I guess I'm gonna go check up on Rachel."

"That's nice."

"What?"

"That you have somebody you can go check up on. That's nice."

"Yeah, it is. Unless she's completely drunk and throwing up."

"Still nice."

"I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow." Before he got up, he tapped his knuckles on her bare knee, and her body instantly reacted to his touch, but this time it was different. She contemplated that for a few minutes before she stood up, and started to make her way back to the Jeep, keeping her eyes downcast so as not to see anything she didn't want to see.

However, during the entire short ride home, all she could think about was Luke. The way he just took her for what she was, was everything to her, and she felt like he was slipping quickly away from her to Rachel. And suddenly, she wanted him to know exactly how she felt about him. She wanted him to know she wanted to start a real relationship with him, and she no longer wanted to be the girl and wait for him to come to her. No, she was going to go to him. And even if he rejected her, and it would be awful, at least then she could move on. But right now, her emotions were so conflicted, and she was lying to her daughter about who she was constantly thinking about. She needed to set things straight, so as soon as she walked in the house, she took a deep breath to steady herself, and walked to the phone, picking it up and dialing the number she knew so, so well.

After each ring, she felt her heart tighten a little more, and then she heard that silence right before the usual greeting.

"Hello?"

The female voice extending the greeting had her heart plunging in her chest, and she couldn't even force herself to answer. Instead, after the second time the voice said hello, she slowly lowered the phone from her ear, and turned it off. She laid it carefully in its cradle, and put her head in her hands, the tears already starting to stream down her face. She had missed her chance. If only she had said something sooner, but now, she would never be able to, because the elusive ex-girlfriend she had heard so much about – the wonder woman of Stars Hollow – was back. Rachel was back, and she was answering Luke's phone.

…


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer:** Totally don't own these characters, or this world. I just like to be a part of it. I give all credit to the writers of this fantastic show for the dialogue I've borrowed.

 **Author's Notes:**

Sooo, what did you all think of the Revival? What was your favorite scene? Mine, clearly, was the L/L wedding with Reflecting Light playing. I mean, come on. That was perfect.

But first, there's still the Rachel issue to get through for these crazy kids…

* * *

 **Seventeen and Nineteen**

Deep down, she knew this moment would happen eventually. People broke up all the time – especially kids in high school dealing with their first crush. However, she didn't think Rory and Dean would break up so soon. Everything seemed to have been going so well. Something had to have happened, but of course Rory was too upset to actually talk about it, and a feeling of dread kept winding its way through her body. Dean wouldn't have tried anything, right? No, he wasn't like that. But the more Rory evaded that particular scenario, the more likely it seemed to be the cause, and she was dying to know.

Finally, the fear clawed itself out, and she outright asked if Dean had tried to pressure Rory, who quickly and adamantly denied such a claim. She blew out a breath of relief, and fell back on her usual self-defense mechanism to get out of an awkward situation, but Rory was having none of her jokes. Which, was to be expected. So, she quietly backed out of Rory's room, promising to dispose of the Dean Box, but put it in the closet for safe keeping. As she draped a blanket over the box, and closed the door, she couldn't help but think of the few items of Luke's she had pilfered over the years that were scattered throughout her room, safely hidden from any prying eyes. After hearing Rachel answer his phone, she had to wonder, would she eventually have to put together a secret Luke Box? Would she keep it like she was keeping the Dean Box for Rory? Or would she just toss it so she wouldn't be constantly reminded of what could have been?

She sighed as she made her way upstairs, and made sure to actively avoid that one flannel she kept shoved in her pajama drawer. Not tonight. She couldn't think about it tonight.

….

The next morning proved to be one of those days she wished she just had a dog. The dog would have let her sleep in, and wouldn't have taken her through a back alley to get to the diner. Dogs were simple creatures, and definitely didn't have neuroses like teenage girls did. But as they climbed through the garbage of the alley, she really started to worry about her daughter. This was totally unlike Rory, and she wasn't too sure how to deal with it. Her mind was reeling, but the warm air of the diner hit her and made all of her senses come crashing back, and as she looked around, she instantly felt disoriented. "Who are all these people?"

"It's the 6am crowd."

"I officially recognize nobody in this place."

"Hey."

The one voice she actually recognized in the place just so happened to be associated with the one person she didn't want to see. Unfortunately, there was no way to extricate herself from the situation, so she turned to Rachel, and plastered the fakest fake smile on her face. "Oh, hi."

"Coffee while you wait?"

But when the holy grail of questions was tossed at her, she instantly softened. How could she hate someone who willingly brought coffee? "Oh, bless you." She took the cup Rachel offered, and watched as Rachel poured her coffee, but soon remembered her irritation of the woman's presence. She needed information. Why was she still here? Why was she with Luke? Was she going to leave soon? "So, Luke put you to work, huh?"

"Yeah, well, I figured if I'm going to be hanging around here for a while, the least I could do is help out."

She was pretty sure she felt her heart hit the floor, but she had to confirm, just in case the blood rushing in her ears drowned out what was actually said. "So you're gonna be hanging around for a while…here?"

"Yeah, I think so."

Yup, heart on the floor, and stepped on, to boot. Fake smile. Fake smile. "Oh, well, that's nice."

"Yeah."

"So where is Luke?"

Rory's question reminded her why having a daughter was better than having a dog – for situations just like this where she was left standing dumbfounded, and needed someone to step in and take over the conversation.

"Well, we were kind of up late last night, so I let him sleep in."

"Sleep in? Luke?," she scoffed. She knew first hand Luke never slept in, and this conversation was killing her.

"Oh, believe me, it wasn't easy to get him to agree to it, but in the end, a little sweet talk, a couple of Excedrin PM, he finally caved."

Her heart was officially being ground into the floor now. On a womanly level, she had the sense Rachel was making sure it was known that Luke was now hers, and for one of the few times in her life, Lorelai felt utterly defeated.

"Hey, there's a seat over there."

Once again, thank god for having a daughter over a dog. "Great." She moved with Rory in the direction of the table, thankful to be away from Rachel, but when Rory instantly started lamenting about Dean once again, she knew she needed sustenance before she could handle any sort of relationship conversation. With a promise to order food, she stood up and moved towards the counter, momentarily stopped by Patty. The delay in her movements though proved to be fortuitous as Luke came down the stairs just as she neared the counter. Instantly, she felt better about everything. He just had that effect on her. "Oh well, uh, good morning sleeping beauty." Her tone was even more joyful than she expected it to be.

"Yeah, well you know, Rachel thought I looked a little tired."

Her good feelings seemed to mirror his, and she decided to ride that train. "No, it's good. You need a little break."

"I guess."

"You do." However, the hurt was still there, and she couldn't stop it from leaking out in her voice. "So she seems pretty comfortable here, huh?"

"Yeah well, she always could just fit in places you know. It's a talent of hers."

"She looks good in your apron." The jealous jab flew out of her mouth before she could stop it, and even though she meant it, she still felt bad about saying it.

"Yeah well, can I get you anything?"

With that singular question, she remembered why she was at the counter in the first place, and quickly shifted into concerned mother mode. "Oh, um, do you think you could make those really crazy chocolate chip pancakes and go extra heavy on the chocolate?"

"Yeah sure, any special occasion?"

She had promised Rory she wouldn't say anything, but Luke was the person she talked to about everything. He was her outlet, and the one who always made her feel better. And right now, even with whatever was going on between him and Rachel, she still needed that outlet, so, she sighed. "Dean broke up with Rory."

"What!?"

His instant reaction made her quickly regret bringing up the topic. "Keep it down. She doesn't want anybody to know about it."

"Oh, I knew it. I just knew that kid was trouble."

Wanting to just leave, she quickly agreed with him, and once again asked for the pancakes, but he was on a roll, and wasn't listening.

"Oh god, he's got a nerve. I mean, what does he think, he's gonna do better than Rory? Is he crazy? Jeez. Alright, well, forget it, ok. Good riddance, adios, bienvenidos, hasta las vista."

Normally, his rants fired up her libido and resulted in either heavy flirting if they were in public, or a crazy round in bed if they weren't, but today, his rant just left her frustrated. Maybe her libido was fired up, and frustrated at the known lack of outlet. "Could we get off the small world ride and start cooking please?"

"How is she?"

His abrupt switch from rant to concern had her heart melting. He always did care so much about Rory. Almost as if Rory was his. "She's been dumped by her first boyfriend."

"Oh man, I swear I would love to…Ok, I'm gonna put some whipped cream on the pancakes, too."

"Thank you Luke."

"Yeah."

"Not a word, ok?"

"I got it."

Feeling good knowing that Luke was looking out for her daughter, she turned around to see said daughter being accosted by Kirk. After shooing him away, and avoiding yet another interrogation about Max Medina – she was really going to have to sit down with Rory to discuss that – Luke interrupted and made it painfully aware she told him about the breakup. Desperately, she tried to throw the blame on Miss Patty, and calm Rory's fears of everyone in town knowing, when movement from outside caught her eye. "Oh my god! Oh!"

She leapt from the table and ran outside, not even aware of Rory chasing behind her, and dove right into the towering mass of male wrestling before her. "Hey, hey, hey, cut it out! Break it up!" She stumbled backwards, and had to duck out of the way of an elbow, but once she got the two separated, she grabbed Luke by the coat, and pushed him away from Dean. "You back off! Come here! What do you think you're doing?!"

"He started it!"

She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Was he twelve years old? What grown man said something like that? "By doing what?"

"He was coming in."

Wait, what? "Are you a lunatic? He's 16!"

"Well, what was I supposed to do?"

"Well, stand in the middle of the street and have a slap fight, of course! Come here!" She pulled him to the front door as disbelief and adoration for this man fought a waging battle in her heart. Somehow, she managed to get him through the front door, and was just about to ask him what exactly he was thinking, when all of a sudden her own arm was pushed into her face as Luke shoved by her and back out the door. She turned to see him stalking after Dean once again, and rushed out, grabbing him once again. "Get inside now. Inside – now!"

"He started it."

As he finally went in, seemingly to stay, all thoughts of pancakes and sustenance left her mind as she knew she needed to distract her kid. "So, where's that list?"

…

After a day of shopping, she was beat, and looking forward to eating junk food on the couch with Rory, so was a little surprised when Rory said she was going to head out to a Chilton party. However, Rory was determined to go, so she sent her and Lane off for hopefully a good time, and instead settled on the couch herself with her toaster pizzas.

But once the pizzas were demolished, the fictional characters on her TV screen lamenting about the latest unsolved crime just weren't keeping her company. With her mind made up, she turned off the TV, walked to the front door, grabbed her coat, and made her way out into the evening.

As she approached her intended destination, she could hear Sookie yelling. Unsure of what to do, she paused with her hand raised in the air, ready to knock. But when she heard Jackson yell back, and caught a few words here and there about him making dinner, she knew better than to interrupt the couple.

Instead, she turned around, hung her head low, and shoved her hands in her coat pockets while shuffling her way back to the street. She could go one way, and just head back home, or she could go the other way, and maybe wander around Doose's Market for a bit. At least there she could get the sense of being around people she knew.

With the decision made, she headed towards the town square, glancing only briefly at the darkened windows of the diner. A slight movement within had her looking back, and her blood ran cold for a second before her feet started moving on their own in the direction of the diner. As she got to the door, she mentally debated not bothering him, and suddenly felt embarrassed as she realized that she was probably no longer welcome here after hours. Someone else had that honor. With that in mind, she quickly turned on her heel, praying he hadn't seen her, but when the door flew open behind her, she knew she had been caught.

"Is Rory ok?"

His concern for her daughter was unwavering, and because of that, she turned to answer him instead of just running. "Yeah, she's fine."

"So, what is it?"

Of course he was questioning why she was there. Why _was_ she there? Oh yeah, because she needed someone to talk to, and because she missed him, and because for one moment, she wished she and him could be a 'them.' "Rory went to a party in Hartford, and I needed someone to talk to." She peeked up at him to see his response, and watched as he quickly nodded, and stepped aside to let her pass into the darkened diner.

She walked to her usual seat at the counter, and was very aware of his movements as he closed the door, and moved through the diner, rounded the counter, and put a fresh pot of coffee on to brew. "I'm sorry if I interrupted anything. I can go."

He waved her off. "No, of course not. Coffee will be ready in a minute."

She nodded, and kept eye contact with him for a moment until the moment became too much for her, and she dipped her eyes to the counter. "Thanks for caring so much about her."

"You know she means a lot to me. You do too."

His words caused her eyes to fly up in hope to meet his, but she could instantly see the conflict held within his, so looked back down at the counter. She reached over to one of the salt shakers, and poured some salt on the counter, and swirled her finger through the mess, creating patterns in the white dust. "Yeah."

"I'll always watch out for her."

When he turned to check on the coffee, she looked up at his back. "To go, please." She saw his shoulders slump ever so slightly at her request, so she followed up with a polite, "thank you," before dipping her eyes back to the counter once more.

They both knew her expression of gratitude was for more than just the coffee to go.

He poured the coffee into the to go cup, carefully put the lid on so there was no way she could spill, and then turned towards her, pushing the cup under her nose. However, when he placed his large hand over hers, it surprised her enough to look up once more into his eyes.

"I'll always be here for you, Lorelai."

She felt as though a thousand words were being passed unspoken between the two of them, and she licked her suddenly dry lips as her heart sped up. His warm hand was burning her skin, and she could think of nothing more than leaning forward and pressing her lips to his. It had been so long since she felt the scruff of his beard rasp against her cheeks. It had been so long since his body had crushed up against hers. The fire was still there. She knew it. And it was beginning to blaze.

"Luke? Are you almost done?"

That voice. That voice she hated more than anything shattered the intimacy of the moment, and she snatched her hands out from under his. She watched as he squeezed his eyes closed and sighed before calling out a response. "Yeah, I'll be right there."

She looked over towards the stairs, before looking back to him. Her heart was aching, and she needed to leave.

"Always, Lorelai."

His words pulled her gaze back to him. For some reason, she felt like his words were an omen, and she vowed there on the spot to try to win him back. The fire was there. She knew it. But for now, she nodded once, stood up, and turned to walk out. When the door closed behind her, she walked across the street and stopped on the other side, turning back towards the diner. Upstairs she could see movement behind the curtains, and thought once again that yes, she was going to be with Luke.

…..

Over the course of the next couple of weeks, she slowly started formulating her plan in regards to Luke. She knew she was running up against time, because every day she didn't do anything, was another day Rachel was able to get that much closer to Luke, but she knew she needed to be crafty about the whole thing. One wrong move could destroy everything.

And if movies had taught her anything, it was that she should always keep her friends close, and enemies closer. As such, over the past few weeks, she was keeping Luke as close to her as she could, in the friendliest way, and was keeping Rachel even closer. People naturally gravitated towards her anyways, but when she really turned on the charm, she could get people to do whatever she wanted them to. So, it didn't surprise her whenever Rachel would swing by her table to chat, but it did surprise her when Rachel returned to her table that morning with a stack of photos.

"So I'm developing my pictures from the Firelight Festival. Some amazing stuff. And I'm thinking maybe there's a book here, faces of small town America…"

"A, 'you should feel safe, you don't live near these people'."

"Exactly. And the very last shot on my roll was this."

The moment her eyes focused on the photo, she felt her heart tighten. Perfectly framed within the photo were she and Luke sitting on a bench in deep conversation. It was absolutely breathtaking, and anyone looking at it could more than easily say the couple in the photo was in fact, a couple. It took all of her willpower not to run her fingers lovingly over the picture, but when she spoke, her voice betrayed her astonishment as it came out breathy. "Wow. When did you take this?"

"When you weren't looking."

"What's that?"

His voice startled her out of her reverie, but only caused her heart to constrict that much more. "Oh, it's a picture of us." She mentally chastised herself for the casual use of a term meant for couples. Realistically, she should have said, 'it's a picture of you and I.' As she spoke, she turned the photo around so Luke could see it, and smiled as she handed it his way. She knew he would see the same magic she did in the photo, and couldn't help but be smug in front of Rachel.

"Us?"

"Rachel took it."

She had almost forgotten Rory was there until she spoke.

"At the Firelight Festival."

"Oh, sure, yeah. So, uh, here's your plate. No eyes."

"Thank you." She looked down at the plate in front of her, and was pleased to see that her breakfast was no longer ogling her. As she picked up her fork, she faintly hoped with the newly arrived food, everyone would disperse so she could eat her breakfast in peace, and mentally anguish over the photograph.

"Do you wear contacts?"

Unfortunately, Rachel didn't seem to take the hint, and was still in full-on 'friend' mode. "Me? No."

"God, you've got amazing eyes. Doesn't she?"

She looked to Luke to see his reaction to Rachel's question, and when he started stumbling over his words, she felt a mixture of pleasure and pain. Everyone at the table picked up on Luke's awkward description of her eyes, but were thankfully interrupted by his hasty exit, and by Rory producing a photo of the old Dragonfly Inn. Upon seeing the forgotten building, something inside Lorelai started bubbling with excitement, but she was momentarily distracted as Rory ran out of the diner to help Lane with trig. Once the whirlwind was gone however, that bubble of excitement forced her to once again focus on the photograph, and she desperately needed to see the building in person. Rachel seemed to sense her desire and offered to bring her, but she knew if she agreed to go with Rachel, suddenly the line between friend and enemy would start to blur, and she wasn't sure if she could deal with that yet. But before she knew it, she found herself being trapped into going. More curious however, was the look Luke was currently giving her.

"So what was that all about?"

"Oh nothing. We're just gonna go check out this old inn Rachel found."

"Hmm."

Because she knew him so well, she could tell Luke was clearly debating something in his head. "What?"

"Nothing. I didn't know you guys were friends."

And his debate was definitely about her spending time with Rachel. "Hmm, well we're not really friends. I mean, I don't know her that well. But we're just hanging out. She seems really great."

"Oh yeah, she is. She's great. She's just, you know, a lot different from you."

Wait, what? "'Cause I'm not really great?"

"No, you're great. Just in a different way."

"In a not really great way?"

"That's not what I meant. The two of you are just completely different people. Both great, but I'm just a little surprised that, you know, you're different types of greatness are, you know, melding and you're comfortably great together."

It was very clearly bugging him that she would hang out with Rachel, and she couldn't help but hold out hope that it was because of some kind of feelings he had for her. Regardless, his babbling was adorable, and she couldn't help the megawatt grin on her face. "Is this bothering you?"

"This conversation, yes."

Exasperating. "No. Um, the idea of Rachel and I hanging out together. Is there some reason that it's weird for you or something?"

"No reason I can think of."

"Ok, well, then, it's not weird."

"Good, well I was just checking."

"Ok, well then, you checked."

Oh yeah. He was bothered. Big time. "Ok. So, are you gonna be pouring that coffee anytime, or…"

"Oh."

"I'm glad it's not weird though because…that would be bad." She watched as he overflowed her cup, his thoughts clearly very far from the task at hand, and as he rushed away, she couldn't help but think that maybe her plan was coming together very nicely. Maybe this time with Rachel would force him to figure out his feelings, and she could get him to come to his senses. In the meantime, she could learn a little more about Rachel, and also check out the Dragonfly. There was just something about that place…

…

Thankfully the prospect of the Dragonfly was around to keep her thoughts from her conversations with Rachel. The more she talked to her, the more she realized how similar they really were, and how in another time, another life, they would have been friends. But the moment Rachel brought up wanting to settle down, all she could think about was the clock ticking down to her missing out on being with Luke.

As such, she had tried to avoid the diner, but when Rachel left a message on her answering machine about more pictures from the Dragonfly, she couldn't say no to meeting up with her. Suddenly the Dragonfly seemed like her future, and there was no way she was going to miss any opportunity to see more of it.

So, with that in mind, she breezed through the diner, and trudged up the stairs to Luke's apartment. It had been so long since the last time she had climbed those stairs. In fact, she was pretty sure the last time she had done so, Luke was stumbling up them with her, and clothes were strewn throughout the tight passageway.

This time however, she was climbing them by herself, and for a very different reason than practically every other time she climbed them. When she reached the door with the glass window proudly displaying 'Williams Hardware, Office, Private' she had to pull her hand away from automatically twisting the doorknob and breezing right in as if the place was hers. Instead, she lifted her arm, and rapped her knuckles on the glass, and bit back a sigh when Rachel answered. There was no reason for the disappointment – it was Rachel who had invited her over – but it was still hard to have anyone other than Luke open that door for her.

"Hey! Good, you got my message."

Rachel's greeting immediately annoyed her, and she worked hard to keep that annoyance out of her response, but wasn't so sure she was successful. "Hail the glory of the answering machine."

"Come on in."

The fact that she had to be invited in also annoyed her, but she entered anyways as Rachel continued to talk.

"I just developed some shots of the Dragonfly I think you're gonna love. Maybe they can help inspire you a little more."

She walked inside, and looked around, mentally noting the minor changes Rachel's presence had left on the place, but knew she had to play it off as though she had never been there before. She was fairly positive Luke had not told Rachel about their friends with benefits relationship, but she wasn't sure how close he had portrayed their friendship. "Oh, great! Hmm. I've never been in Luke's apartment before."

"Really? How long have you two known each other?"

Oh crap. Maybe she should have played it off that she had been up here before. Friends did typically visit each other's dwellings on occasion. Maybe Luke really had downplayed their friendship, which would make sense, but that meant she needed to cover. And fast. "Oh god, years. But our relationship is strictly, 'Please can I have coffee?', 'No.', 'Come on!', 'No, it makes you short.' Blah, blah, blah." Oh god, she was babbling. She always babbled when she was nervous, and Rachel made her nervous. Just like when she babbled about the coffee machines. But, at least that made her consistent.

"Well, then let me give you the grand tour. This is it."

She made a point of looking around, even though she knew the place like the back of her hand. "It's, uh, not how I pictured it. I mean, not that I've been picturing Luke's apartment. I haven't been picturing it at all." Oh god, enough with the babbling already.

"I know what you meant."

When she glanced around for something to save her, something caught her eye, and she moved towards the window. The curtains there were different, and seeing that small difference made her heart sink. Rachel was really settling in. "Hmm. Nice touch."

"Oh, those aren't mine."

The admission had her heart sinking even more. If they weren't Rachel's, that meant Luke was fixing the place up to make Rachel more comfortable. He had never done that with her – he hadn't even bought a bigger bed – and that realization hurt more than anything, so, she found herself defaulting to humor. "You're kidding."

"Nope. Frankly, a little too frilly for my taste."

"I'm gonna give him so much crap about that."

As she sat down on Luke's couch, she desperately tried to ignore the memories floating to the surface of many, many nights spent on this couch, and somehow found herself in a conversation with Rachel about the possibility of Rachel leaving. Really, it was everything she wanted, but there was no way she could act giddy in the moment – no, she just needed to let Rachel talk everything out. Luke had always said Rachel was a runner, and sure enough, his words were already coming true. So even though she encouraged Rachel to keep talking to Luke, she knew Rachel already had one foot out the door, and that was good enough for her right now. She even agreed to talk to Luke for Rachel, but only if the situation came up, because, when would that situation come up between her and Luke? Never, that's when.

Everything seemed to be clicking into place for her, so when Luke walked in, it was easy to fall into their normal teasing banter. However, she was well aware that Rachel could probably hear them, so made sure to make a comment about his place, as if she'd never been there before. However, when she subtly teased him about the curtains, and he responded that Rachel had chosen them, she felt the air leave her lungs. He wasn't telling her the truth, and she could only assume it was because he was trying to pull away from her, and towards Rachel. Maybe her plan was already over, and she had missed it. But she couldn't dwell, because Rachel was back, and she needed to pretend like they were friends, and she forced herself to shift her focus back to the prospect of the Dragonfly.

….

With the new photos of the Dragonfly tucked safely in her purse, she descended the stairs and entered the diner, immediately seeing Luke behind the counter. For so many years, it had been so natural for her to come down the stairs, and walk behind the counter as Luke poured her a to go cup, and today her body naturally followed the usual pattern before she could stop herself.

The pattern was so established, Luke didn't even say anything about her being back there during normal working hours, and instead poured her a cup to go. She could feel the tension in the air, and after bantering quickly back and forth about nothing, she had to voice the obvious elephant in the room. "You didn't like me being up there."

He shook his head. "No big deal."

However, when he walked away from her, she knew it was a big deal. He definitely didn't want her up there anymore, and she needed to know why. Was he thinking about all the times they spent up there together, but needed to block them out to focus on Rachel? Was he forcing himself to be with Rachel when he really wanted to be with someone else? With her? She needed to know, and so followed him into the storage room – a room she knew, so, so well.

As soon as she walked in, the haze of desire was suffocating, and as such, her mind instantly went the dirty route and she started talking about pickles. Luke of course knew what she was getting at, and brought up his usual tired and true comment of his insurance not covering her to be in the room. But she had to test the waters with where he stood with Rachel, and wasn't surprised to hear his assumption that Rachel was going to leave. The one thing she was sure about however, was that as much as she wanted to be with Luke, she needed to let him go to Rachel first. That whole adage – if you love them, set them free, and if they love you, they will return – really applied here. She wasn't too sure about the whole love part yet, but she knew that the only way she could be with Luke was if she let him go to Rachel first. He clearly had been pining for Rachel, which became very apparent during the whole sweat shirt incident, and even if he assumed Rachel was going to leave, that incident needed to actually occur for him to move on. So for now, she needed him to see the situation for what it was. "I just want you to be happy."

"And you know what makes me happy?"

She tilted her head at the unintended meaning behind that question, but chose to answer it at face value. "No, I just know that you've been carrying a torch for her for a really long time."

"I have not been carrying a torch for her."

"Well, you wanted this to happen."

"How do you know what I wanted to happen?"

"Didn't you?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Ok. So here it is, right in front of you. Just take it. Take the plunge. She could be ready. Just jump in and believe her. Unless, you know, there's some other reason you don't want to." As soon as the words left her mouth, she couldn't believe she said them. But, she needed to know how close he was to already leaving Rachel. Maybe his feelings were similar to hers. Maybe he wanted to be with her. Maybe…

"Like what?"

"Like I….I don't know."

"There's no other reason."

Her heart had been stomped on so many times lately. She wasn't sure how many more times she could survive it. "Ok, well, fine. Then there's no other reason." She needed to set him free. He would return. She knew he would return.

"I'll think about it."

She nodded at him and returned his knife, leaving him behind, and hoping he would follow her one day soon.

…

The rest of the week was miserable for her. Seeing Luke and Rachel so happy at the movie had made her heart ache beyond words, but she had to be happy for Luke. They were friends first, and friends had to be supportive of friends. But that didn't mean it didn't hurt. And then the fight with Emily that night about the potting shed and her youth in general really cut through her.

At this point, the only thing she was looking forward to was a cup of coffee, and as much as she didn't want to see happy Luke and Rachel right now, the need for caffeine was stronger. So she trudged in the door with Rory behind her, nodded a thank you to the man who held the door for her and looked towards her coffee supplier. "Don't tell me you're closed?"

"Would it change the outcome if I did?"

At least the banter was still there between the two of them. "No."

"Two coffees."

"Yes please."

"Any pie to go with that?"

Rachel's unexpected offer had her perking up. "Oh, pie!" When Rory followed Luke to the counter, she felt a wave of uneasiness descend on her, and she began to feel sick when Rachel approached her before she even sat down at her table. Intuition had her knowing the topic of the upcoming conversation, and she knew without a doubt she was going to fall asleep crying tonight, but she couldn't fall apart now, so instead she watched as Rachel pulled in a breath.

"Hey, listen, I just wanna say thanks."

"Oh, for what?"

"For whatever it was you said to Luke the other day."

Breathe. Just breathe. "It was no big deal." All the strength in her body was draining away, and she had to sit down. Unfortunately, Rachel sat down as well.

"It was a very big deal. I was sitting upstairs and suddenly he comes in, empties out his sock drawer and gives it to me."

He gave Rachel a drawer? In all the years, and all the time she spent with Luke in his apartment, he had never given her a drawer. "Oh, that's great. You got a drawer."

"And a set of keys."

Now she knew why the key was no longer above the door of the diner. Her key. The key Rachel now had. "Well you can put the keys in the drawer."

"He's accepting it. He's believing it. And it's all because of you."

The rest of the conversation was drowned out by the blood rushing between her ears, but she knew she had to be responding correctly since Rachel wasn't looking at her like she was crazy. No, instead, Rachel was looking at her with gratitude, and threw out promises of ice cream and hot fudge before walking away.

Rory soon returned and put a cup of coffee in front of her, but when she took a sip of the coffee she had been looking forward to all evening, she wanted to spit it out.

"Huh. Does it taste different to you?"

"Yeah. It does." She put the cup back down on the table, and was only dimly aware of Rory still taking hesitant sips of her favorite drink, because she was too entranced by the scene playing out in front of her. There, at the counter were Luke and Rachel, softly talking to each other and laughing, all the while sporting smiles that could light up a room. She dipped her eyes back down to the table to avoid breaking down right then and there, but when she took another tiny sip, she knew everything was different. The coffee tasted different. Life tasted different. Everything was bitter. She screwed up.


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer:** Totally don't own these characters, or this world. I just like to be a part of it. I give all credit to the writers of this fantastic show for the dialogue I've borrowed.

 **Author's Notes:**

Sorry this took so long to get out. I was originally going to post only Twenty, but then realized it ended on another sad note for Lorelai, and I just couldn't do that to you. So, I kept going, and as a result, you get a way longer chapter.

* * *

 **Twenty and Twenty One**

She hadn't meant to pull out the flannel, but in all honesty, she had pushed off doing laundry for way too long and she was out of clean pajamas. Also, she just really wanted to feel that flannel against her skin again. And so, she wore it to bed that night. And then the next night, and the night after that. There was just something about the feeling of his worn flannel wrapping around her body that made her sleep better at night.

It had long ago stopped smelling like him, but she could imagine the faint smell of meat and coffee if she tried hard enough.

And because it was helping her to sleep, she was generally in a better mood, but when the man behind her asked if she wanted to see a magic trick, she had a bad feeling. Public offers of magic tricks usually ended up with the production of something awkward, or the production of something dirty. This morning, she had time for neither, because she needed to get back to meet Rory for a late breakfast at the diner.

"No, really, I'm ok."

"You don't want to see something amazing?"

"My refrigerator had unexpired milk in it this morning. I think that's enough amazingness for me for one day today, thank you." Assuming the interaction was over, Lorelai reached down into her wallet and pulled out a $20 to pay for her purchases. When she looked up after closing the wallet, she realized she was holding only air, and the man behind her was now holding her $20. "Wha…"

"I couldn't live with myself if you walked out of this store without seeing this trick."

She narrowed her eyes at him, totally frozen as to what to do. She could feel the eyes of every other person in the store on her, and silently asked what she had done wrong in a previous life to be the one stuck in this situation right now. With no decision made as to what to do, she watched helplessly as the man hummed while showing her her accosted $20 bill. She widened her eyes and plastered a fake smile on her face and nodded, trying to get him to move along. After a few movements designed to stray her eyes, he promptly ripped her $20 into pieces and threw them in the air. Her heart stopped, and she covered her face with a hand. Why? Why her?

"And now, I shall return the money to its former state!"

She watched through her fingers as he struggled to put the pieces back together, and could hear him muttering under his breath.

"This has never happened before. This wasn't supposed to happen."

At this point, she was just pissed. She crossed her arms, and started tapping her foot in impatience. The more he started muttering, the more worried she got. "Um, so, is this part of the trick?" When he looked up at her, he looked like he was going to cry, and she instantly felt a pang of sympathy. But then, she looked at the ground, and saw the remains of her $20. "So, I take it you'll be paying for my purchases?"

When she walked out of the store, her purse weighed down by quarters, she could only shake her head. Hopefully the morning would pick up.

However, traffic was bad getting back into Stars Hollow, and at that point, she had decided that the only way to get through the day, was to laugh it off. And to drink lots and lots of coffee. So by the time she got to the diner, she was completely wired, and pleased to see Rory was already at a table. She breezed in the door, and collapsed in a chair across from her daughter, and launched right into her story, not even stopping to say hello.

"You will not believe what happened to me this morning. There I am, standing in line at the store, and this guy behind me starts asking if I want to see a magic trick. Immediately, I'm thinking there's no way he would do something dirty, because we're in the middle of a store, but why not, right? I mean, people are crazy. Especially people who ask a random stranger if they want to see a magic trick. So, in my usual polite manner, I decline and focus again on paying, but notice he's somehow holding my money. So then he starts ripping my twenty dollar bill into like a million pieces, and I'm thinking to myself, there is a store full of people, why am I the one on line with the crazy magician?" The sight of Rory yawning had her realizing she was babbling at a speed a little quicker than usual, so she mentally edited the story down because she was losing her audience. "Ok, I'll cut to the end. So, he couldn't put it back together again, and he had to pay me back in quarters."

"Very good story."

Not receiving the reaction she was hoping for at all, she quickly wondered if Luke was around so she could tell him the story, but since he wasn't, she again focused on Rory. "You look tired."

"I just haven't been sleeping very well lately."

"How come?"

"Just have a lot on my mind."

"Anything I can do?"

"Flag down the coffee."

"Arm going up now. Honey, you gotta wake up. Wanna play?" That seemed to perk up Rory.

"One, two, three?"

She nodded, "I'll go first," and turned her body to look out the window for her future husband to walk by."

"And one."

The man walking by had to have been at least a hundred, and obviously had zero potential. "Pass."

"Why?"

The audacity of the question had her gaping. "Because I'm not Anna Nicole Smith. Next." She turned back to the window, and saw a teenage boy glide by on a skateboard.

"Two."

"Hmm, pass."

"Why?"

"Because I'm not Mary Kay LeTourneau."

"Ok."

"What are you looking for?"

Luke's voice had her turning away from the window, and since she was already flying high on coffee, she batted her eyelashes a little when she answered him, just to see if she could get a rise out of him. "My new husband."

"She's already passed up two perfectly good prospects."

Still looking at Luke, she continued Rory's statement, silently daring Luke to respond. "But I'm feeling pretty good about number three."

"Do I want to know what you're doing?"

"Hey, Luke came to the table, does that make him number three?"

"No."

His instant shut down dented her good mood a tiny bit, even though she knew he had no idea what she and Rory were even doing. "You don't even know what we're doing."

"The safest answer in anything involving the two of you is no."

He had a point. "We're playing one, two, three, he's yours."

"I didn't ask."

"You can take the first guy that walks by, or if you decide to pass, assuming there's somebody better out there, you can take the next guy that walks by, or if you don't take him, you're automatically stuck with the third guy," Rory patiently explained.

"Got it?"

"I'm not playing."

"Well, of course not. It's still my turn."

They all turned back towards the window to wait for the next person.

"Ok, guy number 3 is crossing the street right now."

"Why am I looking?"

"Because it's like a train wreck."

Unfortunately for her, but providing comedy for the other two, Kirk walked by and was deemed number three. She played along with Luke and Rory's little routine, but deep down she kept thinking that Luke walking up when he did was a sign. Technically he was the third guy she saw, and she most definitely would have chosen him.

….

After dropping her favorite pair of shoes off to get reheeled, she decided to reward herself with a cup of coffee at the diner. The goal had been to drop off those shoes weeks ago, so she figured that since she had gotten them in within the same month as the original goal, it could be considered as a win.

As she crossed the street, the familiar sight of flannel and a blue ball cap coming out of the store she was passing captured her attention. But it was only when she turned to look at Luke that she noticed exactly what store he was coming out of, and she couldn't help but tease him. And then when she saw he was carrying a bag from said store, all bets were off. No one was within ear shot, so her tone with him was a tad more flirtatious than normal.

Reluctantly, he handed the bag over, knowing he would never win against Lorelai Gilmore, and she could see him wince as she pulled out the kitty pot holders. That meowed. They meowed. Once she forced him to admit they were a present for Rachel's birthday, the jealous side of her told her to put them back in the bag and send Luke along on his merry way. But the side of her that cared for Luke on a much deeper level than just a friend told her she wouldn't be able to live with herself if she did that. She didn't want him to experience that wave of embarrassment that would accompany the moment Rachel opened the gift and gave him the polite, fake smile everyone gave when opening a present they didn't want.

And when he launched into a rant about having to buy gifts, she knew she would do anything for him in that moment. Those rants just set her blood on fire. When she suggested to him that he go to the mall to see if he could find something there, she knew he would decline, and she would get to experience another rant. She knew him so well. She knew exactly which topics would set him off, and sometimes, admittedly, she would bring those topics up on purpose. So, to put him out of his misery, and because another piece of her plan was falling into place, she offered to go shopping for him. It could never hurt to have him indebted to her for helping him out.

When he handed her his credit card, she knew he was handing her his trust, and again the jealous side of her told her she now had the power to get something for Rachel she would really hate, but the other side of her told her she needed to help out Luke, and just give him decent choices of things he could choose from. So, she handed back the bag of potholders to Luke, and continued on her way to the diner. Luke might not be there at the moment, but the coffee definitely would be. And after this good deed, combined with getting her shoes in to be fixed, she was going to double fist her coffee on the way out. She deserved it.

…..

The only thing better than shopping, was shopping with someone else's credit card. The movements were fluid, the possibilities were endless. Unfortunately, she didn't want to make Luke's debt endless as well, so she did her best to reign herself in. Her first stop was a necessary one to the bookstore, because she had promised Rory she would pick up a few titles for her. Apparently this was the only store in the state that had them, so it was fortuitous she would at the mall to pick them up. As Lorelai stumbled through the aisles of the store trying to track down the last title, she saw _Out of Africa_ and immediately thought back to the discussion she had had with Rachel about Meryl Streep that had Rachel talking about how much she liked the movie, and how much she had enjoyed being in Africa. Smiling at her good fortune, she added the book to her stack, found the last title for Rory, and went to make her purchases.

As she left the store to make her way to Sephora so she could get the makeup she had run out of, she passed by a travel store, and stopped dead in her tracks as she saw what was in the window. There, sitting nestled amongst various suitcases, was a leather camera bag. Instantly, she knew it was another perfect gift for Rachel, and she couldn't believe her good fortune. She was barely half an hour in to her trip to the mall, and she had already finished shopping for Rachel. Things never came together that quickly. It was like it was a sign or something.

Riding high on her good luck, she breezed through Sephora, and her good luck turned to amazing luck when her purchases came with a free gift. Who could turn down a free gift from Sephora? No one, that's who. So, to celebrate, she ducked into the food court, pulled in by the alluring smell of cinnamon and sugar. Her nose brought her right to the pretzel stand, and was delighted when the teenager behind the counter told her the pretzel she bought had been sitting there for a while, so he was going to give her another one right out of the oven for free.

She might have clapped and danced on the spot.

With her hands full of sugary pretzels, she practically glided through the mall as she picked up her final needed items. As she neared the one end of the mall, and was staring to the entrance of Bloomingdale's, she decided she deserved a loop through the store as a reward for having such a great shopping day. Normally, she avoided the store, because there was so much inside she wanted to buy, but as much as she liked to imagine she had infinite amounts of money, she knew that she really didn't, and needed to be constantly on alert as to how much she was spending. Working at the Independence Inn paid her well, but she still had bills and a kid to pay for, leaving not a whole lot left for her.

Today however, she was going to go in. Not buy, but at least go in. Quickly, she did a loop of the store, and felt herself pulled by the dazzling Sale signs in one area. As she moved towards them, she realized it was the men's section, and not women's, and was about to leave when a sweater caught her eye. She moved forward and brushed her fingertips over the chest of the sweater and marveled at how soft the material was. The thought then crossed her mind how fantastic this sweater would look on Luke, and she couldn't help but take a peek at the price tag. When it showed a 40% off sticker, she felt like it was fate that she should buy it for him, and folded it over her arm. As she turned to walk away, she noticed there were more colors of the same sweater, and suddenly she couldn't decide which one would look better on him. Her eyes darted back and forth between the choices, and she was mentally calculating if she could afford to just buy all three sweaters for Luke when the thought hit her. She had his credit card. She didn't need to buy the sweaters for Luke. He could buy them for himself. She would just pick them up for him. Yeah, that would work.

But as she moved towards the cash register, items kept jumping out at her, and suddenly she felt this intense desire to dress him. He may not be hers, but if he was wearing what she bought for him, it would be like she was with him all the time. Yup, suddenly another piece of her plan dropped into place. Rachel would not be ok seeing Luke wear clothes bought by Lorelai at all, and for the first time in a few days, Lorelai's jealous side danced a happy dance at its win. So, for the next hour or so, she bounced from sale rack to sale rack, picking out clothes that she knew would look absolutely fantastic on Luke.

On her drive back into Stars Hollow, she was bursting with excitement, and wasn't even sure if she parked the Jeep legally or not on the street outside of the diner. All she cared about was showing Luke everything she had bought, so she unloaded the Jeep, and stumbled through door of the diner and headed right towards the counter to wait patiently while Luke finished up his phone call.

With the knowledge that Rachel was out running errands, she showed Luke the presents she had bought for Rachel and was pleased that he liked what she had chosen. Admittedly, she could have bought a lifetime supply of bath salts and Luke would have liked the choice, but she knew the book and bag were real winners.

"What's all this?"

When Luke gestured to the other shopping bags that littered the space around her, she grinned. Finally, she could show off the items which were most exciting for her. "Well Luke, timing is a beautiful thing."

"It is?"

"It is. So I'm at the mall, and I've already found Rachel's gifts, and I've had two sugar cinnamon pretzels and I'm buzzed on the sugar and jazzed about the purchases and I decide to take a victory lap through Bloomingdale's, and it just so happens that there was an amazing sale in the men's department. I mean gorgeous stuff. Look at this." She leaned down to pull the sweater out of the bag that had started the whole shopping spree. "Huh! Forty percent off! I got three different colors!"

"For who?"

Sometimes the things that went over his head astounded her. "For you."

"For me?"

"Yeah." She decided to just ignore him and continue with her unveiling, so she walked over to another bag and pulled out a pair of pants which she draped in front of her body. "And then of course, beautiful pants. So soft, I don't know what this fabric is, but I think I wanna have its baby."

"Ok, hold on a minute here."

Completely oblivious to the fact he had even said anything, she walked over to another bag and pulled out a belt. "Also, I got this fabulous belt to go with the sweater and the pants. Simple. Black. But look at the buckle."

"I don't need a belt."

Ignoring him again, she continued. "Great buckle! Sixty percent off, can you believe it?"

"No I can't. Look."

Through her haze of elation, she could sense she was starting to lose him, so moved over to yet another bag and pulled out some shirts. "Oh, and I also picked up a couple of shirty shirts in case you didn't have a nice one to go with your suit."

"What suit?"

"This one!" She grabbed a garment bag, held it up, and unzipped it to show off the suit inside.

"Did no one at the mall notice that you were going through some sort of psychotic episode?"

She pointed towards the suit, and tried to convey how great a deal she had gotten on it. "This suit. 175 percent off," and couldn't help but notice the tiny smile forming on his lips.

"You were not supposed to be shopping for me."

"Well, I thought you might like a little something new to wear when you take Rachel out tonight."

"Well thank you, but take it back."

She was definitely losing him, but bantered back and forth with him about trying on the clothes. At one point, he questioned her sudden need to dress him, and not wanting to give the real reason, she kept up with her bit of things being increasingly higher percentages off. Their banter kept escalating towards flirtation, and before she realized it, she was chasing him into the back of the diner to get him to try on the clothes.

He finally agreed to try on the clothes if she sat at the counter and ate something healthy, so she acquiesced and returned to the main part of the diner to collect the bags for him before sitting at the counter to order from Cesar.

In the time it took for Cesar to make her dinner, and her to eat it, Luke had come out to show off various outfits and complained about each one of them. When it took him a little longer than usual to show off the final outfit, she started to worry he had given up on the floor show and was instead hiding out in his apartment, waiting for her to leave. She was about to go looking for him when she could hear him rustling just beyond her view, so she yelled out to him. "Come on!"

"I hate you, very much."

"Save the sweet talk for Rachel. Get out here!"

When he finally walked out, she felt her breath leave her, and she remained stunned for a few moments. He was absolutely gorgeous, and suddenly buying clothes for him was the best idea she had ever had. "Excuse me sir, do you know where Luke is?"

"Very funny."

"Oh my God, Luke, is that you?"

"I feel ridiculous."

"That's because you don't have the belt on." She reached into the bag that was still sitting beside her, retrieved the belt, and moved towards him, fully planning on putting his belt on for him. "Here."

He pulled back a bit out of her reach to look at her. "What are you doing?"

"It's called accessorizing."

"I can put a belt on myself, thank you."

"Ok, sorry." She stood up and looked him up and down, letting an involuntary "hmm" out.

"What?"

Realizing her mistake, she tried to find words, but couldn't quite wrap her mind around what she wanted to say until he questioned her again. Finally, she settled on, "I just have exceptional taste is all. Turn around." He was just so handsome, and she needed to see everything.

"What?"

"I just wanna make sure it all fits. Turn around." Thankfully, he agreed to her request, and as he spun in a tight circle, she made sure to take special note of how well the clothes clung to his body. "Uh huh, uh huh."

"Hey Fabio. I need the ketchup."

"Can you get that guy some ketchup?"

Because the guy had so rudely interrupted her shameless staring of Luke, the last thing she wanted to do was acknowledge the request. "Why me?"

"Because if I spill any stuff on this I won't be able to return it."

"You're not returning those clothes." There was no way she would allow it. He looked fabulous in those clothes, and she wanted to see him wear them every day from here on out.

"Oh yes I am."

Because she wanted to see Luke in the suit she had bought him and needed to move by the rude customer, she handed the guy the ketchup, and picked up the suit off the table on her way back to Luke. "Here, try on the suit again."

"I already tried it on twice."

"I know, but I want to see it with the black shirt."

"I'm not wearing a black suit with a black shirt."

"Regis does."

"Ok, you've won me over now."

Ignoring his sarcasm, she held out the jacket to him. "At least try on the jacket again."

Once the jacket was settled on his shoulders, Luke looked up to Lorelai. "This is how you like your guys, all GQ'd up, huh?"

Did he really just say that he was her guy? No, he couldn't have. "It's not GQ'd up. It's just a little less casual."

"And you don't like casual."

Why was he suddenly so concerned about what she liked and didn't like? It felt like the conversation was starting to shift from what kind of clothes she liked, to what kind of guy she liked. Specifically, if he was the kind of guy she liked. "I like casual fine."

"Just not on me."

Oh yeah. This conversation was becoming much deeper than just clothes. "No, it just adds variety. It's not, 'let's make a new Luke,' it's, 'let's see another side of the old one.'" She stumbled through her words, and wasn't convincing to either one of them, which was made painfully aware by Luke's wordless murmur.

"Uh huh."

Desperately trying to cover her stumble, she moved towards him as she saw his belt was sitting funny. "You missed a loop. Come here." Memories of her removing Luke's belt flooded her mind, causing her fingers to fumble with the task, and she couldn't figure out what was wrong with it. Fully concentrating on the problem, she didn't hear the bells above the door ring, or notice Luke's sudden stiffness. Instead, she muttered, "what did you do?" as she continued to try to figure out what was wrong. She could feel her cheeks burning though at the intimate position, and was silently praying she could get herself out of this situation without jumping on Luke right then and there.

"Oh, hi."

The tone of Luke's voice had her pausing and she looked up to see who he was greeting. She had a feeling she knew, but wanted to make sure with her own eyes. As they settled on the red head, her heart stopped, and she felt like she was caught red handed. Which, she kind of was. "Oh hi. Uh, this is not what it looks like."

"It looks like you're dressing him."

She silently blew out a breath of relief that Rachel hadn't said something else, and just decided to go with the statement and let out a little chuckle. "Then this is exactly what it looks like."

Thankfully Luke went with it as well. "There was a sale at Bloomingdale's and she…"

"Six trillion percent off."

"How can you walk away from that, huh?" The air was thick with awkwardness, and Luke pointed his thumb over his shoulder, gesturing towards the back of the diner. "I'm gonna change now."

Knowing she needed to exit, and needed to exit now, Lorelai licked her lips, and looked towards her coat and purse. "Good. Uh, I'm gonna get Rory and… just enjoy the clothes."

"I will."

"Ok, good. See you later, Rachel."

"Bye."

"Bye." She pushed past the stunned red head and stumbled out of the diner, guilt climbing up her throat. Tears burned her eyes, but she pushed them back as she got into the Jeep. What had she done? For so long, she had been silently planning a way to get Luke away from Rachel, but never in a million years did she want to do something that would hurt either person. She wasn't that girl. But now, deep down, she knew she had hurt not only Rachel, but Luke, and all because she wanted to stake her ownership of him by dressing him.

After picking up Rory, and keeping up a front for her daughter's sake all evening, Lorelai settled into bed, wrapped in Luke's flannel, falling into a fitful sleep.

….

In regards to the Luke situation, the next week seemed to go by without fanfare. Rachel was still there, and while the first couple of days seemed tense, apparently catching Lorelai with her hands on Luke did nothing to make her want to leave. In regards to Rory, however, something was definitely off. One day, Rory had come home in a bad mood, and that bad mood had been hanging on all week. Lorelai had carefully asked what was wrong a few times, but was quickly shut down each time. Hoping it was just cramps or something that was making her daughter moody, she tried her best to dance around the fragile emotions of a teenager.

But when she saw Lane stomp away from Rory as she approached them, she decided it was finally time to confront her daughter and get the scoop as to what was going on.

"Ok, you've been in this mood for a week now and while I love the unexpected ups and downs of motherhood, I've got to say, I'm tired of Goofus and I'd like my Gallant back.

"You can't just say a normal sentence, right? Just 'Hey, let's talk' is too dull for you."

She couldn't believe Rory was talking to her like that, and realized this situation was much more serious than she originally had thought, so she reached out to grab Rory's arm to stop her from walking, and looked her in the eye. "Hey. Let's talk."

"About what? Oh wait, I know. How about you and Luke?"

The topic completely threw her. Her and Luke? What about her and Luke? Currently, there was absolutely nothing going on between her and Luke, so what could have possibly brought this on? "What?"

"I assume there's something going on between you two, but he's with Rachel, so whatever is going on between you two is not ok."

"Did Rachel say something to you?"

"What? No. I went looking for some pajamas, and found one of his flannel shirts in your drawer. Are you dating?"

"We are not dating. We had been…talking…and now we're just friends."

"Why didn't you tell me you'd been talking?"

Why? Because when she and Luke first started 'talking' it wasn't appropriate conversation to have with her 12 year old daughter, and then when the topic was briefly brought up, Rory shot it down. After that, there wasn't much to tell. "It's complicated." She waited for Rory to say something else, and a few moments passed, but nothing else was said.

"Let's go."

The vehemence she saw in Rory's eyes was unexpected and jarring. "Look, I didn't want to tell you about anything that turned out to be nothing. What was I supposed to do? Walk in and say, 'Look, hon, I know you don't want me dating Luke, so I'm not, but we are sleeping together.' Would that have been good?" She hadn't meant to admit to sleeping with Luke, but her adrenaline was pumping, and it slipped out. She noticed Rory's eyes widen a fraction of an inch before settling back into the same scowl they had been in for the past week.

"That would've been great."

"I was going to tell you, ok? I just wanted to see if anything was actually going to come out of it or not. I was trying to protect you, that's all. Hey." She couldn't believe it when Rory turned away from her and started walking away, so chased after her. This conversation wasn't over.

"You know, actually, it doesn't matter whether you tell me about Luke or not because you obviously broke up with him anyways like you always do."

"Excuse me?"

"Well that's what you do best."

"Hey, stop right there."

"You break up with people, cry, get back together, break up. It doesn't really matter. I'd rather not have to keep track, so tell me when you're down to the final inning. And in case you didn't notice, Luke is dating someone who's not you."

"You know what, that is way too snotty a thing even for alternate universe Rory to say. I'd like an apology."

"Fine. I apologize. Let's go home."

"Yeah, let's go home and try that apology again."

She watched as Rory began to walk towards the house, before remembering they needed lightbulbs. After yet another argument with Rory, she headed into the market with a sigh.

As she wandered the aisles picking out things here and there she knew they needed at the house, she was mentally kicking herself for being so lackadaisical about Luke's flannel. For so long, she had carefully hidden it deep within her drawers. She knew Rory occasionally would sneak in there to find an outfit, but the flannel had always been buried so deep, Rory would have found an outfit long before making it to the garment. However, since Lorelai had been sleeping in the flannel pretty much exclusively these past few nights, she had only ever put it under one or two other items. She was careless, and deserved to be caught.

The problem was, she had been caught _after_ anything was really going on with Luke, and during a time he was currently with someone else, which made the whole situation seem much worse than it actually was, and Rory was clearly upset about it. Lorelai knew she was going to have to talk to Rory about it as soon as she got home. She was going to have to sit her down, and just be honest – treat her like the best friend she was. It might be hard to get through it all, but honesty was really the best policy at this point, and there was no reason to hide anything about Luke from Rory anymore. Sure, there might be a few awkward mornings in the diner for the next few days, but that too would soon pass. Rory just needed some time to get used to the idea that Luke had at one time or another spent the better part of a night at the house.

When she rounded the corner and saw a couple of canisters of silly string, Lorelai picked them up with a smile and placed them in her basket. What greater icebreaker was there than a face full of silly string? None. Suddenly, she felt a whole lot better about the evening, and quickly finished her shopping so she could get back to Rory.

However, when she got home and called for Rory, she was only met with silence, and her heart started pumping. Something was wrong. Something was really wrong. Rory wasn't home.

Instinctually, in her moment of panic, the first person she called was Luke. Luke would help her. He always helped her. If anyone could find Rory, it would be Luke. But when that damn voice she hated so much answered the phone, she slammed the phone down in frustration without even saying a word, before picking it up again to call Sookie. If Luke couldn't be here for her, Sookie would be here. Thankfully, her best friend answered and promised to search the town while Lorelai stayed put just in case Rory showed up, and to man the phones.

After frustrating call after frustrating call, she could feel herself hinging on the brink of hysteria. Thankfully, Sookie walked through the door right then, and a bubble of hope formed in Lorelai's stomach. "Anything?"

"Patty hasn't seen her but she's been working all day. She's not at the library, and she's not at Luke's."

It felt like her heart was going to explode, and she was starting to go lightheaded. Nothing could have happened to Rory on her walk home, right? This was Stars Hollow for god's sake. Nothing bad happened in Stars Hollow. "Where is she? Why didn't she leave a note? Dammit!"

"Honey, calm down."

"But Rory doesn't take off. She knows it would make me crazy. She knows it would make me worry. I'm crossing over into panic now."

"Don't cross. Come back."

Thankfully, the ringing of the phone distracted her from fully crossing over into panic, and her heart leapt at the prospect of it being Rory. It quickly fell however, when she heard her mother's voice at the other end, and even further when her mother informed her that Rory was in Hartford. She had run away.

How had it come to this? How could Rory be running away? It wasn't supposed to be like this. So after making plans to pick Rory up at the house after school the next day, she hung up the phone, defeated.

"So?"

"She's with my parents in Hartford."

"Uh oh."

Lorelai looked to her friend and smiled, thankful for the instant understanding. "Yeah."

"Maybe you should go get her."

"No. She wanted to get away from me. She wants to be alone. Give her her space." Needing to be on the move, she headed towards the kitchen, knowing Sookie was right behind her.

"Honey, are you ok?"

Was she ok? No, she definitely wasn't, and the one person who could always calm her down wasn't available. He was with someone else, and that in itself was adding to her anxiety. "I can't believe she left me to go there. We used to always be able to work this stuff out."

"What did you two fight about?"

"Luke."

"Luke? Why Luke?"

Lorelai buried her head in her hands, and leaned back against the counter. She hadn't meant to say his name, and instead wanted to come up with some other plausible topic of argument, but she was so tired, she just didn't have the energy. Today, the truth was coming out in spades. The first time, the recipient of the truth had fled. Hopefully the second time would go a little better. "Rory found one of Luke's flannel shirts in my pajama drawer."

"Why would one of Luke's flannel shirts be in your pajama drawer?"

Sometimes Sookie's lack of awareness astounded her, and this was one of those times. She slowly slid her face up from her hands, so they rested on her mouth for a minute as she looked at Sookie. When her friend still seemingly couldn't put the pieces together, she slid her hands down to cup around the back of her own neck. "Sookie." She widened her eyes and tipped her head, and watched as realization dawned on Sookie.

"Oh! Oh my god! You're sleeping with Luke!" Sookie clapped her hands together with glee and started bouncing up and down. "This is amazing! I knew you two would be so good together. The way he looks at you. How long have you been together? Wait, what about Rachel…"

She put her hand up to get Sookie to stop, and hung her head. "We're not together anymore. He's with Rachel. End of story."

A look of disappointment flashed across Sookie's face. "Oh, honey. I'm so sorry."

"No, don't be. We were never together, together."

"But…"

"Sookie, no. This isn't the conversation I want to be having right now."

Sookie nodded in understanding. "Of course, sweetie. We'll talk about this later. But Rory – she will be back and you two will work everything out."

A small smile crossed her lips. "Thanks, Sookie. Did you want some coffee?"

"Sure." Sookie moved towards the kitchen table and pulled out a chair to sit down on as Lorelai busied herself in making some coffee. "Can I ask you a question?"

She knew Sookie was going to ask something about Luke which she didn't have the energy to answer, but in this moment, Lorelai knew she needed to give her friend something. Sookie had dropped everything in a heartbeat to rush over and help in her time of need. The least she could do was give some girl gossip. "I think you've earned it."

"Why didn't you tell anyone about you and Luke?"

With the coffee slowly brewing, Lorelai took the moment to sit at the table across from her friend. "Honestly, because when it started, we weren't sure what it was. I tried talking to Rory about it once, but she told me she never wanted me to date Luke. After that, he and I just kind of drifted apart. Max was there, and now there's Rachel."

"But you want to be with him."

She hung her head, and started picking with her fingernail at something that had dried on the tabletop. "Yeah."

Sookie reached across the table and put her hand over Lorelai's. "Honey, it'll all work out. He's crazy about you." She waited until Lorelai raised her eyes. "But in the meantime, you need to get some sleep. Tomorrow is another day."

"Yeah," she nodded. "You're right."

"I'll see myself out. You get some sleep and I'll see you in the morning, ok?"

"Thanks, Sookie."

After her friend left, she crossed her arms on the table, and laid her head down on them, letting the tears fall, and wishes fly that she could call Luke to make everything better.

….

The next morning she felt like death warmed over. At some point she had fallen asleep at the table, and didn't wake until the deep of the night. When she stood, her neck ached, but all she could think about was climbing into her bed. But as soon as she climbed under the covers, sleep eluded her because all she wanted to do was see Rory. As such, she got up and went out to the Jeep, and started on her way in to Hartford. It didn't matter it was the middle of the night. She was going to get her daughter.

But as she got halfway to the city, her rational side took over and put up a very convincing argument that kidnapping Rory in the middle of the night was not the way to go. With a sigh, she took the next exit, and turned around back to Stars Hollow. When the town came in to view, all she could think about was how much better Rory would feel if she slept the rest of the night in her own bed, and not in her fake bed in her fake room at her grandparents', so Lorelai turned around again towards Hartford. Again however, as she neared the exit she turned around at the first time, she remembered the lunacy of picking up Rory at 2am. So again, she turned around. But then she got to thinking about how Luke's breakfasts always cured everything, and if Rory was going to be in a better mood, a breakfast would be needed. Before she knew it, she was back on the road to Hartford. As she neared the familiar exit halfway to the city, she noticed how low her gas tank was, and sighed. She officially had gone crazy. So, after stopping to get gas, she headed back in to Stars Hollow, and went straight for her bed.

As soon as she closed her eyes, her alarm clock went off, and she groaned. Today was so not going to be a good day. She dragged herself out of bed, and into the shower, hoping the hot spray would at least get her moving. The coffee she had made the night before for Sookie was still sitting there, so she drank that, but needed something more. She also needed to see Luke. She needed his presence. But first, she needed to stop into work for a bit.

Once she had some sense of an ensemble on, she headed out the door, and to the Inn. After a few hours and everything seemed to be running, she slipped out, and went to the diner. When she opened the door to the diner, she was pleased to see Luke behind the counter, and walked straight towards him and took a seat.

"Jeez, what happened to you?"

He was nothing, if not blunt. "A happy 'how do you do' to you too."

"Sorry, you just look bad."

"Well, I didn't get much sleep last night."

"Why not?"

"Rory and I had a fight and she ran away."

"What? Where? Did you…"

She waved off his concerned. "She's fine. She's at my mother's."

"Jeez. Throw that information in with the first part. You'll scare a person to death."

Ignoring his comment, she continued on. "You know, I got in my car three times to go get her. I drove halfway there and drove back, drove halfway there and drove back. I actually ran out of gas driving halfway there and back."

"She'll cool off and come home."

"I know. Just breaking up with Dean has been so hard on her."

"Yeah."

"I just hate that she's going through this. I mean, she's such a good kid. She's so nice to everyone, she cares about everyone. And she's walking around in this unbelievable pain and there's nothing I can do about it. She still won't talk to me. She won't tell me what happened."

"I'll tell you what happened. That Dean kid is a jerk and he finally let her know it."

Happy to have Luke's constant support, she visualized what she wanted to do with the boy who hurt her daughter. "I wish I could just pinch his head right off."

"I'll help."

"I warned him. I warned him when I first met him, if he hurt her…Ah. Maybe I could key his car."

"Or, better yet, you can key Taylor's car and tell him Dean did it."

"Yeah. That'd be good."

"You can key Taylor's car, tell him Dean did it and also tell him that Dean littered and walks his dog without a leash."

"He'll run him out of town."

"Good."

As usual, their banter served to calm her down, and she felt like she had enough energy to continue through the day. "Alright. I should go. Rory's probably out of school by now and I want to be home in case she decides to call."

"Coffee's on the house."

"Oh thanks." She stood up to leave, but something caught her eye as she looked at Luke. "Hey, is that the belt I bought you?"

"Oh yeah. Yeah. The old one broke."

"Oh. Lucky you happened to have a spare."

"Yeah. Hey. She'll be home soon."

She nodded, and walked out, already feeling better.

…..

Later that night, after having pizza with her favorite daughter and watching yet another bad movie, she was sitting cross-legged on her bed flipping through the latest _Vogue_ when she heard a soft knock at her door. It was ajar, but she knew her daughter was more polite than to just barge in – especially when she had something on her mind she wanted to talk to her mommy about. "That better be the girl scouts, because I'm seriously craving some Thin Mints right about now."

Taking that as a cue to come in, Rory pushed open the door. "Sorry, it's just me." She moved towards her mother's bed, and waited until Lorelai patted the space beside her before climbing on and mirroring her mother's seating arrangement.

"What's up, sweets?" She watched as Rory licked her lips, and she knew her daughter was thinking carefully about what she was going to say.

"I wanted to apologize again for running away."

"Aw, sweetie." She leaned forward and touched her daughter's leg. "I get it. Sometimes you just have to get out. I mean, I wish it wasn't to hell, but, to each his own." She watched as Rory's lips turned up in a sense of a smile, but she could tell Rory had something else on her mind, and wasn't in the mood for jokes at the moment.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Were you and Luke ever dating?"

She blew out a long breath. Of course Rory was going to ask her about this. Why wouldn't she? "No, we weren't dating."

"Mom."

The instant frustration bubbled up inside of her, and for a moment, she really wanted to pull the mom card and shutdown this line of questioning, but with everything that Rory was going through with Dean, Lorelai felt like maybe this was the moment to just be honest. "It's complicated." She ran her fingers through her hair, and closed the magazine in front of her, giving herself time to gather her thoughts before continuing. "We used to spend some time together, here and there, but there was nothing serious. There was a time where I thought something might have happened, but then Max came around, so we drifted apart. And then once Max was out of the picture, I thought maybe again, but then Rachel showed up, and there you have it."

"That's it?"

"Well, when you're 21 I can probably tell you more, but for now, yeah, that's it."

"Did you wish there was something more?"

She looked up into Rory's eyes and could see that her daughter was genuinely curious, just as Sookie had been. She could lie, and pass off whatever she had with Luke as nothing more than a fling, but when it came to Luke, she couldn't pass anything off. So, she didn't. "I do, yes. But, Rachel is here, so, there can't be anything."

Rory scrambled across the short distance to her mom and curled up next to her. "Aw, mom. He adores you. It'll all work out." She pulled back as she thought of something. "Hey, do you have a Luke Box?"

"Not really. There's stuff scattered around my room, which, is how you found that flannel by the way."

"Oh."

Her lips pressed into a line as Rory leaned back in to her. She wasn't sure she could ever create a Luke Box, because creating that box would signify everything was over, and in her mind, it wasn't really over. Not yet, anyways. There was always hope. Especially since two people how had told her things would work out.

Long after her daughter slipped out, she went over to her pajama drawer, and reached in to finger the flannel which had started off this whole past day. When her eyes began to feel like sandpaper, she closed the drawer, and went to turn off her light.

When she slipped under the covers on her bed, she could feel sleep creeping up on her faster than it usually did. But, she knew it would because Rory was safe at home, tucked in her bed, and the two had talked everything out.

Just as sleep was about to fully overtake her, the phone rang, and made her jump. She glanced quickly at the clock beside her, and noting the time, could only think of one person who would call at that hour, but it couldn't be, could it? She reached over to grab the phone out of the cradle by her bed, and slumped back into her pillow. "Hello?"

"Everything ok?"

She quietly blew out a long breath. It had been so long since she had heard his voice while she was curled up in her bed like this. Just those two simple words curled around her like a warm coat, and already, she felt her blood racing. "Yeah. I tucked her in myself."

"Good. You scared me today."

"Yeah, well, you should have been around last night if you really wanted a scare."

He paused for several long moments before answering. "Why didn't you call me? I would have been there for you."

She felt her heart constrict, and tears started to well in her eyes. "Luke. I couldn't call you."

"Why not?"

"Luke, because."

"Because what?"

Tears were starting to fall. "Rachel."

There was a long pause, before Luke spoke again. "Lorelai. You know I'm always here for you."

"No, Luke. I can't. You're with Rachel. I appreciate your concern for Rory, I do, but…I just can't." As she waited for him to respond, the tears flowed down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry."

She nodded, even though she knew he couldn't see her, and hung up the phone. The sleep that had been so close to her was now so, so far away, and she wasn't sure if she was ever going to sleep again.

…..

The thump jolted her awake, and set her heart on a wild gallop. Another loud thump, and a series of banging had her head rattling. "Dear god almighty Mr. Mirkle!" What the hell was that noise? It sounded like it was coming from Rory's room, so she went downstairs to see just what her daughter was doing to cause such a racket. Had she taken up racquetball in her room?

Lorelai stumbled down the stairs, and opened the door to Rory's bedroom, imagining a thousand scenarios of what Rory was doing, but none included Rory sleeping peacefully in her bed. How on earth was she sleeping through this? This would not do. "Hey!"

"What?"

"You are not sleeping through this."

"Through what?"

Lorelai walked over to Rory's bed and pulled Rory over so she could look at her. "The freaking Blue Man Group is outside our house!"

"I was sleeping through it!"

How? How was she sleeping through it? Was she going deaf? "It had to have woken you up."

"No, my insane mother Margot Kidder Gilmore woke me up."

She couldn't believe what she was hearing. How could Rory sleep through this racket? With that thought, the banging continued again, and Lorelai moved towards the front door, since the sound had to have been coming from her front porch. When she opened the front door, sure enough, there was the source of the sound, as Luke was hammering something on the porch rail. She sauntered out to greet him as if seeing him this early in the morning was a usual occurrence. "Hey."

"Hey."

"How are you today?"

"Good. How are you?"

His nonchalance was grating her sleep deprived mind. "Good, good. What are you doing?"

"Fixing your porch rail."

How could he act like this was so normal? Her patience was snapped. Lack of caffeine and sleep did that to her. "That's right. You are. You're fixing my porch rail…at six thirty in the morning!"

"It was the only time I could do it."

"Why? Why?"

"It was broken. I noticed last time I was here. It could hurt somebody."

She sighed. "Luke, we sleep around here. Ok, we like it. It makes us pretty and keeps us from killing our crazy friends."

"You're gonna wake the neighbors."

"Ugh! Could you pound one more thing while you're out here? Your head! And a For Sale sign on the lawn because we're moving. So that's two things. The sign and your head. And in that order 'cause otherwise you'll be too dizzy to do the sign thing." Needing to get back to bed before she collapsed from exhaustion, she turned to the door and realized it had locked behind her. Could this morning get any worse? "Ugh. Oh, shoot. Rory!" She started banging on the door as she yelled for her daughter.

"You locked out?"

She was so mad at him, she couldn't even look at him. "You don't exist. Rory!"

"You shouldn't have closed the door."

"Ah! Rory!"

"Lorelai, sugar, you're waking up the entire neighborhood. Please!"

She turned towards the sound of Babette's voice, wondering how everyone had seemingly slept through the much louder noise of Luke hammering wood on her porch, but were so upset with her. "Excuse me!"

"I am officially annoyed."

Rory's voice had her turning towards the now open front door, and was frustrated yet again by everyone's irritation with her, and not Luke. "Oh! Well, don't blame me, blame Lu…" When she turned to point at Luke, he was gone, and suddenly she was questioning her own sanity. "He was right here." As Rory guided her back into the house, she swore up and down that Luke was there and that she wasn't crazy, but Rory and Babette's reactions were making her think twice. Had she been sleepwalking? No, she couldn't have. Could she?

When Rory deposited her back in her bed, Lorelai fell back into a deep sleep, dreaming of a shirtless Luke working up a sweat on her front porch.

….

Over the course of the next week, it became more and more common for Luke to show up at the house unannounced and start working on things. She felt like she should say something to him, but who was she to give up free handyman work? And besides, it felt good knowing he was always around. It gave her a warm snuggly feeling.

And so, it wasn't unusual for her and Rory to be sitting at the kitchen table talking in tune with some sort of construction sound. As they discussed various dreams, Lorelai got stuck on the name of the guy who used to run the auto body shop, and went out to ask Luke. They bantered back and forth about various names until they triggered each other's memories and remembered Jim Dunning. Happy with the knowledge so she could continue with her dream story, Lorelai went back into the house to find Rory. Since Rory wasn't in the kitchen where she left her, Lorelai continued through the house and found her in the front entryway, holding the Dean Box. Worried Rory would be angry, she started rambling about why she kept it, and how she put it next to a few of Luke's things so they could keep each other company and commiserate about how they had a Gilmore girl and lost a Gilmore girl, and then just flat out apologized.

However, she was rewarded with a kiss and a thanks from her daughter, and watched happily as her daughter took the box to her bedroom and started going through it. Rory was finally getting over her guy, and that was good. But as the banging on her roof continued, she realized it was going to take a lot longer for her to get over her guy.

Just as her thoughts started drifting into melancholy territory, she heard a loud scraping noise on the roof, and then a large crash outside, followed by a yell. Her eyes went wide, and she ran towards the back door, and found Luke lying on the ground, surrounded by a few pieces of broken wood from her now broken porch rail. "Oh my god, Luke!" She ran down the steps and slid on her knees to his side, and floated her hands over his body, looking for visible injuries. "Are you ok? What happened?"

He pushed her hands away, and struggled to sit up, visibly grimacing. "I'm fine."

"Luke, you are not fine. You just fell off the roof. Come inside. Let me get you some ice." She stood up and leaned over to help him up, and tried very hard to not react to his body being so close to hers. However, when they reached their full standing heights their bodies molded together, and she could feel his warm breath puffing next to her ear. Knowing it was dangerous, but emboldened by the feeling of his arms snaking around her body, she looked up into his eyes. The desire she knew so well was there in his eyes, and she could feel her eyes drifting closed as their lips started pulling towards one another.

"Mom! What was that crash?"

She and Luke jumped apart at Rory's cry, and they turned as one towards her, before Lorelai looked back at Luke, who was rubbing his side. "Ah, Luke decided to try recreating a scene from Christmas Vacation. Can you go get some ice?"

"Luke, are you ok?"

Luke waved her off. "I'm fine, Rory. Thanks."

As Rory disappeared back into the house, Lorelai tugged on Luke's hand. "Come on. Let's get you better." They walked into the house, and for the first time in ages, Lorelai felt alive.

…..

Work had kept her busy for the next few days after the incident in her back yard, so she kept missing seeing Luke at her house, and figured a trip into town for some coffee would solve that. With the possibility being strong of seeing Luke finally, she grinned as she walked, and threw Patty a hello as she walked by the dance studio. She was so focused on the building ahead of her, she didn't hear anyone approaching her until her name was called. And of course, it was called by the one person in town she could have done without. "Hey Rachel."

"Hey, have you seen Luke around?"

Did people just assume she didn't work? How could she have seen Luke around, since this was a typical work day, and pretty much in the middle of said work day? "Oh, he's probably at the diner."

"Nope, he's supposed to be at the diner, but he's not."

She felt her heart fall at that statement. If Luke wasn't at the diner, was there even really any reason to go in? Well, there was always coffee, but, it just wasn't the same if he wasn't there. Because she was in deep thought as to whether or not to actually go to the diner now, her response came out as a distracted, "Oh, well…"

"We were supposed to meet for lunch, but he didn't show."

He didn't show? That tidbit of information had Lorelai focusing. "Oh."

"Again."

"Ah."

"I made tuna."

"Nice."

"Yeah, yeah, he usually comes back upstairs for a break between lunch and dinner, but recently he's been other places. Uh, your place actually."

The veiled implication was there, and as much as Lorelai wished he was at her place doing dirty things to her each afternoon, he unfortunately wasn't. "Oh, yeah, well, Rachel, he's just fixing things."

"I know."

"The porch rail, a couple roof shingles, then the porch rail again after he fell off the roof onto the porch rail."

"Yeah, yeah, he's been telling me."

Whew. At least he was being honest with Rachel, but, wasn't that just as bad? "Good."

"Look, if you see him, can you tell him to just, I don't know, check in."

"Yes, will do."

They exchanged awkward goodbyes, and after walking a few steps, Lorelai stopped, and looked back towards her house. If Luke wasn't at the diner, maybe he was at her house and she could see him there. With the decision made, she reversed her direction, and walked home.

As she walked up her driveway, all seemed to be calm, and there was no sign or sound of Luke anywhere. Shrugging, she stopped at the mailbox, pulled out a few envelopes and headed up the front stairs. She unlocked the door, and started shuffling through the envelopes as she moved through the front entryway. As she dropped the mail on the hall table, a noise upstairs caught her attention, and the hairs on the back of her neck rose in alarm. Her heart started pounding in her chest, and she suddenly couldn't remember what to do in situations like this. Stop, drop, and roll? No, that was fire. Scream? No, that wouldn't do anything. "Hello?"

Yes, announce her presence. Maybe that would scare the person off. But, they would have to run right by her to get out. Ok, this wasn't thought out very well. She needed protection, so looked around and settled on an umbrella. She pulled it out of the canister, and held it in front of her as the footsteps got closer, and figured at this point, the element of surprise was going to be her best weapon so she jumped into the living room, blindly swinging the umbrella. "Hold it right there!"

"It's only me!"

Thanking all that was holy at the sound of a familiar voice, she desperately tried to get her heart to return to a normal rate, and smacked Luke on the arm with the umbrella for good measure. "You scared me half to death!"

"Who'd you think it was?"

"Well, I don't know! I heard some thudding upstairs and Rory weighs like ten ounces, and it either had to be an escaped elephant, or some strange large man who should not be in the house. How did you get in here anyway?"

"Through the back door."

The answer threw her. "The back door's locked."

"No, that's why I came. The back door lock was broken."

"The back door lock was fine."

"The back door lock was cheap."

"The back door lock came with the house. It's been a very fine back door lock."

"It's the kind of lock burglars look for."

"Why do burglars look for that lock?"

"Because it's easy to break into. I proved that."

She was started to get a bad feeling about where this conversation was going, especially after just talking to Rachel. "You proved that by…?"

"Breaking in through the back door."

"Oh my god!"

"It's the only way I could get in."

Disbelief was pretty much the only thing she was feeling at the moment, and had to see for herself if what he was saying was true. It had to be – there was no other way he could be in the house – but she needed to see it, so she moved towards the kitchen, very aware he was following close behind her. "You have crossed over into the dark side, Luke."

"It's not that big a deal."

When she rounded the corner into the kitchen and saw the broken lock, she gasped. "Uh! You broke into my house!"

"I'm gonna fix it."

She watched as he moved towards the door to start fixing it, and followed him, trying desperately to push away the questions of why he was upstairs in her room if his main goal was to break her lock and then promptly fix it. "Ugh! Step away from that lock."

"What?"

"Get off. Come. Sit down." She led him to the kitchen table, and forced him to sit down with her. "You have almost no free time with all your work at the diner, and lately every spare moment has been spent not with Rachel."

"That's not true."

"Oh? She was looking for you today and she didn't know where you were."

"I'm not hiding from her."

"I didn't say you were hiding from her."

"Sounded like you were implying it."

"Well, someone's sensitive about the accusation."

"I think I'm hiding from her."

The admission had her heart soaring. "I think you are too."

"It's just a little weird having her in my place."

And that admission had her head in the clouds. He had never once mentioned to her that it felt weird having her in his place, but here he was saying it was weird for Rachel to be there. The walls were breaking down, and she had to know. "I thought that's what you wanted."

"It was. Is. I'm just…"

While she kept up with the conversation, she tuned out for a moment as she processed his slip that his want of Rachel was in the past. Sure, he covered it up, but he was hedging his bets.

"I'm not used to someone expecting me."

"Expecting you to…"

"Come home, do things, be with her."

"Aw, most people would kill to have that in their lives." As soon as she said the words, she knew she had slipped yet again when talking to him, and let her feelings be known. She knew he heard it too, but he just moved on, allowing her to fall into banter with him about the pros and cons of lonely guys.

"It's just not what I thought it would be like having Rachel back. You know, it's not the fantasy I was toting around all these years."

"Well, Luke, life is not a fantasy. Maybe you have to lower your expectation bar a little bit."

"So you're saying that life is just settling for whatever comes along?"

Did he really just say that? Was Rachel to him a consolation prize because Lorelai was too stupid to make a move? "Wow, you think having Rachel is settling?"

"No, I didn't mean that. Rachel's great."

Disappointment settled in, even though it shouldn't, and so she reluctantly told Luke once again to try again with Rachel. Luke was her friend first and foremost, and as much as she wanted to be with him, she couldn't push him. She could see Rachel pushing him in front of her own eyes, and could see how Luke was pulling away. No, she needed to sit tight. Rory and Sookie were right. Everything would work out.

After agreeing to let Luke pay for someone else to come by and fix her lock, she waved him goodbye, conscious of the feeling in her stomach that a shift was coming.

…

"Ok, we've got food, drink, reading material, and chocolate covered espresso beans. Did I miss anything?"

Rory turned towards her mother and grinned. "Nope. I think that about covers it."

The two girls moved towards the town meeting, and slipped in the back door. Unfortunately, the meeting had already started, so Taylor zeroed in on the food bags in Lorelai's hands while they sat, but she talked nonsense until he got confused and moved on. She happily munched on her food as the townsfolk debated the pros and cons of the town troubadour, and was so entranced by the show, she was startled when Rory stood up.

"Because sometimes you have something you need to say but you can't because the words won't come out or you get scared or you feel stupid, so if you could write a song and sing it then you could say what you need to say and it would be beautiful and people would listen and you wouldn't make a complete idiot out of yourself, but all of us can't be songwriters so some of us will never be able to say what we're thinking or what we want other people to know that we're thinking so we'll never get the chance to make things right ever again. So, give this guy a license."

Throughout Rory's impromptu speech, Lorelai could only think of how that applied to her. She needed to say something to Luke, but the words just wouldn't come. The timing wasn't there. But she needed to say something. However, when Rory sat back down, she was clearly embarrassed, and Lorelai knew that Rory's speech had to have been about Dean. "Well, I liked that little speech." When her daughter turned to her with a shy smile, she wrapped her arm around Rory's shoulders and pulled her close as Taylor continued on.

As Taylor talked, she looked again at the back of Luke's head. He had been ignoring her the entire meeting, so she took the moment to get his attention by throwing a fry at him. When he turned around, she asked, "do you want some fries? We have extra."

"Nah, Rachel's minding the store so I should probably get going."

"Yeah, I agree."

"I knew you would."

She watched Luke walk away, and couldn't help but notice Rory looking despondently at a chair near the back of the room. As Taylor continued, the two girls kept munching on their fries, both lost in their own thoughts.

…

The next day had proved to be a tough one at work, so she and Sookie had agreed on an impromptu girl's night out to throw back a few drinks and forget the day, and gather the energy to deal with the rest of the week.

Unfortunately, work had kept her longer than anticipated – typical for how the day had gone – so she was late getting home, and frantically getting ready as the doorbell rang. She muttered a curse under her breath, and grabbed her shoes as she headed for the staircase. "You're annoyingly on time!" As she tried to put her shoes on while descending, she felt herself stumble, and decided that safety was more important than speed. "Ok, stairs, then shoes. Stairs, then shoes." At the bottom of the stairs, she slipped her shoes on, and ran to the front door to let her friend in, but was startled to see Luke standing there. "Oh, hi."

"Hey. You're all dressed up."

"Oh, yeah, Sookie and I are going out."

"Oh, sorry. I forgot my toolbox so I just thought I'd come pick it up."

"Oh yeah. It's right over here. Rory and I couldn't lift it or we would've brought it to you and then we got used to having it here, so we named it Bert and we'd say Goodnight Bert and it'd say Goodnight girls and we spend too much time home alone." She realized she was rambling, and couldn't put her finger on why. She rambled a lot in front of Luke, but this was her nervous rambling, not her usual run-of-the-mill rambling. Thankfully, he put her out of her misery as he reached for the toolbox.

"Well, thanks for taking care of it."

"Our pleasure."

She could tell he was there for another reason, so wasn't surprised when he placed his toolbox back down on the hall table.

"So, Rachel left."

Never in her life had her heart gone in such opposite directions because of such a simple declaration. On one hand, it was soaring – Rachel was gone, she was out of the picture, which meant Luke was now free. On the other hand, it was falling. She could see the hurt in Luke's eyes, and never wanted to see that kind of hurt in him. "What?"

"Last night. She left. For good."

"Oh no, Luke. I'm so sorry. What happened?"

"Ah. It's hard to explain."

"I can't believe it. I thought she was really in it for the long haul this time."

"Yeah well, she had her reasons."

"Really? What?" She was genuinely curious as to what Rachel's reasons were, because every time she had talked to Rachel, Rachel was very adamant about staying, no matter what. However, Luke's answer was interrupted by a light knocking on the front door, and the appearance of Sookie in the front hall.

"Hey honey, sorry I'm late, but the hot shower spray was too enticing to leave. Oh, hey Luke!"

Luke nodded. "Sookie."

Suddenly the air in the room became thick with unsaid words. The conversation between Luke and Lorelai had been moving towards a much deeper level, and Sookie had unknowingly interrupted it. And as unaware of social situations as she could be, this time she was fully aware of the need for an icebreaker. "Hey, we should be going. We already have to get home early, so we don't have a lot of time to waste."

Lorelai shook her head of the possibilities of what Rachel's reasons were, and looked to her friend. "Oh, yeah." This conversation between her and Luke was going to happen soon, but now was not the time.

"Yeah, I'm gonna get going. I'll see you tomorrow?"

She licked her lips and nodded. "Tomorrow."

Luke threw her and Sookie a wave, and walked out, leaving Lorelai staring after him.

"So, are we going?"

Sookie's voice broke her out of her trance, and she turned back to her friend and smiled. "Yeah, of course. I'll get my purse." She moved into the living room to retrieve her handbag, and almost plowed into Sookie as she turned around. "Oh!"

"So? What did I interrupt?"

Confused by Sookie's question, she blinked a couple of times. "What did you interrupt?"

"Whatever you two were talking about that I walked in on."

"Oh, Luke just came over to pick up his toolbox."

Sookie narrowed her eyes at her friend's evasive answer. "I feel like there was something a little more than that."

"Nope, nothing. Can we go?"

"Lorelai."

"Sookie."

"Are we ever going to talk about this?"

Suddenly, she knew her dreams of drinking the bad day away were slipping away. In all honestly, she admired her friend for not asking about the Luke situation much sooner after hearing about the secret affair, but she was still secretly hoping Sookie would never bring it up again. However, that apparently was not the case. "Sookie, I already told you that Luke and I were sleeping together for a while."

"I know! But it's just so exciting!" Sookie jumped up and down clapping her hands and giggled.

Her friend's enthusiasm brought back feelings of hope in regards to the situation, and she couldn't help but chuckle. "Stop. It was just fun. And then…other people came into the picture."

"But Rachel is gone now!"

"How do you know?"

Sookie leaned in and looked at Lorelai like she was crazy. "Sweetie, this is Stars Hollow. Everyone knows."

She shook her head, surprised at herself for assuming anything different. "Yeah, well…"

"Well? That means you two can get together! I know you want to."

"Yeah, I really do."

Sookie started her bouncing again. "Oh my god, this is going to be great! You two are so great together!" She leaned in conspiratorially. "How is he?"

She laughed at her friend's question. "I'm not answering that. And we're not together. We need to talk about things. But first, you and I need to drink."

…..

The next day proved to be similar to the day before – busy, and annoying. However, at least some of the crises popping up allowed her to get out of the building. It was late as she pulled back into the Independence Inn parking lot, and looked up as she heard the front door of the Inn slam. Sookie was bouncing in a spot, and immediately she felt herself grin. She walked towards her friend, trying to figure out what was causing her jubilance. "Sookie, what is it?"

"There's a package for you at the front desk."

"Oh?" Exhaustion was starting to seep out of her in spades. She and Sookie had stayed out the night before way longer than either had anticipated, and then a day of running around had left for little caffeine intake. And with the end of her shift in sight, her body was beginning to tell her it was done, so a package at the front desk wasn't all that exciting to her. She always got packages at the Inn.

"It's from Luke. He dropped it off a few minutes ago. You just missed him."

The mention of Luke's name had her perking up, and she moved past Sookie into the Inn, and went straight towards the front desk where Michel was glaring at her.

"This is not a place for personal deliveries."

"Oh, shoo, you." Lorelai waved off Michel, and focused her attention on the simple package in front of her. Sitting beside a large Luke's to-go cup, was a Luke's to-go bag. When she moved to pick it up, Sookie's voice had her turning.

"There's a note inside."

"You've read it, haven't you?" At Sookie's flush, she had her answer, and turned back to the bag, which she opened to find a donut and a note. She fished the note out, and read it.

 _Lorelai,_

 _Dinner tonight?_

 _And only one donut so you don't spoil your appetite._

 _Luke_

Her heart felt like it was going to explode. He had made the first move. He had asked her out. This was happening. It was like Rory and Sookie had said – everything worked out. When she looked up at Sookie, she squealed along with her best friend, and pointedly ignored Michel as he sighed and rolled his eyes. She had a date tonight. With Luke. She needed to tell Rory. "I need to get home. I need to change. I need…"

"Honey, calm down. It's Luke."

"Yeah," she said breathlessly. "It's Luke."

"Sorry to break up this girly show, but, the linen delivery is here."

Lorelai looked over to Michel and sighed. Work unfortunately came first. "Shoot." Grinning like a fool, she grabbed her coffee cup and donut bag, and walked towards the back to accept the delivery. The next few hours were going to be torture.

…..

After running home to change, she called Rory to let her know she had news to share, and Rory had said the same thing. They agreed to meet by the gazebo since they were coming from different directions. As she rushed to the town square, she could see the lights of the diner illuminating a section of the square, and she felt like a moth drawn to them, but she had to hold off the urge. Rory was first. She continued towards the gazebo, and saw her daughter coming down the street opposite her, and her excitement was too much. She started running towards Rory, and as they met in the middle, they both enthusiastically asked the other for their good news, and danced in the street at the prospect of what was to come for each of them.

* * *

 **Author's Notes:**

So, that's the end of season one! Thank you all so much for following along with this story, and for commenting and letting me know what you liked and what you didn't. It was so much fun to write, and to tinker just a tad with canon to make season one so much better. I'm always up for writing more (here? Another story?) if you're interested. Just let me know!


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